i’ve been doing some work in my life behind the scenes.
many of you know that i am nearing the end of my life coach training, and that means that i can begin to begin my life coaching work – a dream that i’ve had in the making for years. i have been scribbling notes and ideas and thoughts and plans in a notebook for months now. i’ve tweaked a few things here on the blog, and i’ve also toyed with the idea of creating my own life coaching website, not connected to this one. i’ve been back + forth on that idea for freaking ever. i discussed it with my fellow life coach students last weekend, knowing that it was time for me to buckle down and decide.
i think i have finally made that decision, which feels amazing. but, there is another decision, which has affected the website decision that still looms over me: how do i describe myself as a life coach?
i’ve been unable to write a purpose statement or vision or define myself/my style of life coaching, and i really want to. but, i’ve been teetering back + forth between two different ideas, thinking that one is right and one is wrong (and i know way better than to try to box myself in like that! there is no right or wrong answer!). but, this morning, sometime before sunrise, i suddenly i realized that i have not been able to define my life coaching because i have not accepted who i am as a life coach. i’ve been trying to bend myself into something that i think will be attractive instead of simply being true to who i am.
yes, i’ve gotten caught up in trying to please others rather than being authentic.
the thing is, i cannot just put out there the words “life coach”. i must embrace the unique way that i approach this, because i know that being faithful to who i am, my perspective, my talents, my skills, is what will make the biggest difference. i must embrace that my life coaching comes from a spiritual place.
why in the world i have not be able to embrace something that is the ground of my being is very frustrating to me.
but, my fear has been that focusing on that will turn away people. stupid, i know. i also know better than to believe that – and even worse to focus on that. but, i’m just keeping’ it real. that has been a true fear of mine.
so, i’ve been trying to explain away/avoid the spiritual aspect of how i approach life coaching/spiritual guidance for fear that no one wants that. bottom line, it’s a fear of failure. i’ve been sabotaging myself before i even got started.
but, today, this morning, i finally realized this battle that i have been having with myself. and i’m done battling.
i am who i am. and i choose right here, right now to create this life coaching business from my authentic self, regardless of… well, anything. besides, life only truly works when we are aligned and authentic.
somehow, i found my brave today.
as we move through february, this theme of bravery seems to be just the reminder and push that i need right now. i thought that i needed to be brave to face our upcoming move (and i do). but, much more deeply than that, i need bravery to stay true to myself. to stay centered and connected with who i am called to be, how i am called to live.
i have heard the call. the same call that has clearly been with me for over 20 years now.
the call is this: the call to live an inspired life. to be inspired + to inspire. the call to follow my bliss. to live an authentic, intentional life of meaning and purpose. it is a call to continually be grounded my inner peace and to let my life be used to make a difference.
basically it is the call to break free. to say, “screw you!” to society, to norms, to expectations, to the way that we are “supposed to live life” – and to instead live from my soul. to not give a shit what others think + to trust in the graceful, unfolding process of life. to follow my own damn path + stay true to that path, no matter how it is perceived.
i have felt the call.
by intentionally committing to a slow life, i have committed to creating my own wilderness space. through meditation and a close connection to nature, i have created a place of silence, solitude, and calm. a place in which i can discover that i have all that i need already within me. a place where i can truly feel the call, to deeply know who i am and who i am called to be.
in the desert, in the wilderness, in the darkness, by the water, i am able to breathe deep and to be quiet. there, i hear the whispers from my soul the best. i connect with the divine. i find my inner light. i feel my inner peace. and i am filled with inspiration.
It is in the wilderness that i find my courage and strength and motivation to pursue this crazy calling that i’ve been handed.
heeding the call.
but, now it’s time for a decision. time to heed the call, or not. should i follow my calling, scared and all, then i begin a unique journey all of my own. this is following my bliss. living my life, pursing my own personal legend. and, if i do this, then magically guides will appear all along the way. signs will pop up. doors will be opened. i’ll feel like i’m in that flow, totally aligned. i’ve felt this before – i know this to be true.
at the same time, i’ll be embarking on a completely unknown journey. no security. no rules. but, if i am following my heart and my soul, if i am relying on my intuition and my soul, then the path will be created.
joseph campbell describes this part of the hero’s journey, the part where the hero steps out and actually begins, as entering the dark forest.
oh how i love that.
it is a journey to the center. to truth. to depth. to the mysteries and magic and wonder that exists. it is not an easy journey, but it is a transforming journey. one that changes me. helps me to become even more of who i am meant to be, and in that, to then give back even more than i ever imagined. entering the dark forest is the beginning of the journey to living life to the fullest, to finding bliss, peace, and empowerment.
so now, this week, it’s time to head out. it’s time to take that first step. its time to fully soak up the life coach that i am called to be. it’s time for action. it’s time to depart. to leave behind all that i have known, all that i have been afraid of, and to set off. knowing that there will be adventures, temptations, beautiful oases, exciting times, struggles, challenges, and so many amazing moments waiting for me all along the way.
today, i heed the call to let my life coaching practice develop from my grounding as a spiritual person. today, i act on it. no more wondering, debating, flip-flopping. no more letting fear stop me.
as soon as i complete this post, i will make some lunch. and then, this afternoon, as i juggle my wifely duties doing laundry, i will excitedly + proudly get down to business with my life coaching visioning. it’s time.
i am who i am. and you are who you are. and we are all perfectly beautiful exactly as we are.
what have you been called to lately? do you hear the calling? feel it in your soul? are considering following your own path – even if it leads deep into the dark forest? whatever you are facing right now, i hope that you know that you already have all that you need to make the journey. and, i’m over here, cheering you on, sending you lots of love + strength.
happy monday, dear friends.