i am complete again.
i have spent this weekend at home without my love. well, actually, i haven’t been home that much. friday night i worked. but, later in the night i settled into an empty bed to watch the latest episode of one of my fav shows, and drifted off to sleep with an adorable cat beside me. we took care of each other, since we both felt a little weird without lina.
saturday morning was slow and calm… coffee and a good book entertained me for hours; and then i attended our niece’s baptism (lina’s sister’s daughter). it was a relaxed, beautiful afternoon/evening. i must admit that it was a little strange to be completely with lina’s family… without lina. but, it was so good. so much fun.
it has taken 2 years, but i finally feel like my own person again. there is something about moving to another country and learning another language that makes you feel like you have lost your personality a little. i don’t feel 100% “me” when i speak in swedish all the time. i can’t use my little personal phrases/sayings, or make jokes, or relax completely. but i’m getting there! the cool thing about being with lina’s family yesterday (who i’ve really sort of known for 2 years) was that i felt like myself! something has happened and i didn’t even realize it. some new step has been taken. or a new phase has begun. it felt free, light, and enjoyable… where in the past all social situations have been fun, but a little stressful & lonely sometimes. but, yesterday, i felt like i had my own place. i felt like me. come to think of it, i think i may have felt all of this creeping up a little bit… at work, at lina’s work, with the teenagers i’m around.
after the baptism of the happiest, giggliest baby girl, i came home and relaxed. i talked with my mom quite a bit, did a lot of thinking, and then did a little writing here. i went to bed late and was asleep before i knew it. i have no idea where the night went. it flew by… this morning the sun was shining, and after another morning of coffee & reading, it was time to get moving. i cleaned, cleaned, cleaned to get ready for my love’s return from the her survival camp in the woods.
now, she’s home and i am complete again. the weekend went by quickly, and it was a good one; but not as good as when i share it with my love. i missed having her to talk with, laugh with, relax with, and just share everyday life with. i lived by myself a lot in the past, and it was ok. in fact, i enjoyed it. turns out, i don’t like it so much any more. life is so much better when it is shared… and i am so amazingly blessed to share it with lina!
it’s off to rent some movies now and buy some beer. one cozy night, coming up!
happy sunday everyone! peace out.