big big big news. i mean b. i. g.
i’ve got news. BIG NEWS. HUGE NEWS.
my heart is fluttering in my chest as these words appear on my screen. my breath is shallow. my fingers are sweaty on the keyboard, causing me to hit delete over & over again.
should i just come right out and say it? or should i give the background information first? i’m stuck. i’m watching the cursor flash, waiting for me to write. there is a long pause between each sentence.
i knew that this would be a year for adventure. i felt it as the clock struck midnight on new year’s eve. the feeling and belief that all things are possible in 2013, that the time to make some dreams a reality had come once again. i didn’t know how any of it would look, as everything was a blank slate. 2013 was, and still is, a mystery to me. but, i could not let go on new years day that overwhelming sense of “this is it.” what “it” was, was (and is) not specifically clear. but i believed. and i believed big. and it wasn’t only dreams and big things for myself, but also for my love, who has been cryptically writing on her blog about a big project she has been working on.
well, the mystery is over. we can “let the cat out of the bag” today, so to speak. it’s official now. and while there is big news that my love is sharing, it is actually something really big for both of us. it was, and is, a joint decision.
are you dyin’ yet? have i irritated you enough?
we’re moving to the states!
yep. it’s true. here’s the scoop:
it was a random wednesday last fall, sometime in september, i believe. and all of the sudden, out of the blue, we decided it was time for lina to follow her dream of studying in the states. i think all the stars just lined up right, because moving to the states is something we have talked about off & on constantly. but, that’s how our life is and will be, since we are a bi-national couple who both love both countries. but, that night in september something changed in the universe. all the signs were right for lina to give it a try.
she began searching around. new york city. san francisco. the possibilities were endless. and then, we found it. at the university in asheville, north carolina (the city where i – and lina too – lived), lina found the major she wanted to pursue… new media. think graphic design, web design, all things creative & technological. this is her thing. her time to shine. her time to follow a huge dream she has had for so many years. she has always wanted to study in the states, but it was never possible. it is not easy to get everything worked out in order to make that dream a reality for international people. well, i suppose it’s a dream for many americans too, considering the cost of universities & college.
as for me, well, i have always been drawn to asheville. as i said above, lina & i have discussed moving back many times. it is such a unique city. funky. eclectic. diverse. artsy. and nestled in the beautiful north carolina mountains. it is a place that feeds my soul. you can check out a few earlier posts about my love affair with asheville here and here .
now, what does this move mean to me?
well, it means that i must leave an amazing job, first & foremost. the church where i work is filled with amazing, supportive, and wonderful people. i work with fun, talented, crazy teenagers; but i also do things with & for the entire congregation. i am still blown away that i have managed to learn swedish, find a job, and work here. and doing something i love. so, of course, it is tough for me to leave this “perfect” job and all the people behind. i can’t even express how it feels to leave lina’s amazing family behind… we won’t talk about that right now. and besides, there are 6 months left to soak up all things swedish.
but, there is something waiting for me in asheville. i have no idea what it is. but, i believe in it.
as i have been going through this process with lina, i have been having some kind of parallel process that i had no idea would happen. this fall, i had photos published in newspapers. my blog picked up readers. i wrote more & more. basically, somewhere inside of me i began to know that it was time… time for me to focus on my writing. time for me to live my passion, while lina lives hers. of course, i don’t know what that looks like for me, but my soul tells me it’s time to set another part of myself free.
yes, the stars seemed to have lined up for me as well. it’s time for me to pursue my writing & photography more seriously. and asheville is just the place to mix my passions for those to things with theology & social justice all together. this decision, this move, this new chapter in life is something that we are doing together. the timing is perfect. and it feels so right.
i will, of course, need to find a job in asheville. something stable and good. but, also something that allows me to pursue my passion. luckily, i have great contacts already in asheville, so i am not worried. things always work themselves out.
so, yes, it’s time once again in my life, to jump. to tke risks. to embark on a new journey. and to share that journey with my love.
more than anything, though, i am so proud of & excited for my love. and for me. and for our dreams, which we are chasing until they become reality.
it’s time to follow the open road. to take off for a life unknown. to live life to the fullest. to follow the road less traveled once again. and head west!
“Freedom lies in being bold.” ― Robert Frost