supermoon saturday: a chance to sit with your truth

if you haven’t noticed, there’s a full moon rising out your window tonight. ok. it’s not a fully, full moon. but, it’s 99% full. so, pretty much full. the actual full moon happens on the 29th, sometime early/late in the morning. hopefully, it’s clear wherever you are, so you can head outside or peek out your window and gaze at this big, beautiful, special moon.

it’s super special actually. because it’s a supermoon. and that actually is a thing.

a supermoon is when the moon is super close to the earth, at its closest, and therefore looks much larger than other times of the year. amazingly, we have a supermoon this month, next month, and in october. three in a row. now, that’s crazy talk. 

so, have you been feeling crazy lately? restless? emotional? tired? off balance? energized? inspired? confused?

i think i’ve covered all of them lately. with the ending of summer, the beginning of routines, and lots of plans in my mind, in addition to the pull of the need to think practically, i have been, once again, sleeping like a crazy person. up every single night at 3:30 am. sometimes i lay awake until the sun comes up. other times i just pet the cat and go straight back to sleep.

one thing is for sure, there is a ton of energy all around me and inside me. and what other reason than because it’s a supermoon, right? hehe. i mean, just think about all that energy and how the moon affects and changes the tides. surely it has to affect us too…

well, i believe that it does. and even if you don’t believe in any of that hippie dippy magical stuff, the moon does affect us. the energy is present in us, just as it is in the waves of the sea. and anytime mother nature does something special, it’s a great time to slow down and ponder life a little.

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this supermoon is a deep, intense one that can help me, and you, face these last 4 months of 2015. for the past 8 months life has been moving on for us. things have changed, we have changed. and right now, we have a chance to pause. like, when you’re on a roadtrip and need to get off at an exit for a rest stop. to refuel, reevaluate, and pull out that old map again.

that’s what this moon is urging us to do. to just pull over for a minute and reassess our journey so far. to make sure we are on the right road. headed where we want to be headed.

think back to the beginning of 2015. what were your dreams? what was your vision? how did you hope that this year would go? what steps have you taken in your 2015 journey so far? what have you seen, done, experienced as you sped down the 2015 highway?

now, think about this with me: does today’s reality match up with what you remember? it might not. and that’s ok. perhaps we have changed our course, or its been changed for us unexpectedly. perhaps we are precisely where we wanted to be, and it’s just to push onward.

whatever you discover, embrace it. and let yourself relax in the fact that, no matter what, you are exactly where you are supposed to be.

don’t freak out, friends. if things don’t seem like you thought they would seem, it doesn’t mean that you are on the wrong track. it just means that with the intense energy of this moon, we can receive the courage to be truthful with ourselves. to really look at where we are and evaluate the path that we have chosen these past months.

and here’s the brave question put before us: are our heads + hearts in alignment with our dreams + goals?

if we feel that we are aligned, if we are living authentically to that which our souls call us to be, then right now as we gaze at the big moon in the sky, we may fall deeper in love with our lives and our journeys.

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this is exactly where i am right now. it actually frightens me to say that, but it’s true. somehow, the journey i have been on this year has led me to a place where i am embracing those things that i am called to be + do. and i am being + doing it. things are changing – and i’m freaked out and scared, but i know that it is right. it is time for me to grow and expand and trust.

however, if we have been neglecting our intuition and not following our soul’s purpose, then we will be feeling a bit of anxiety and turmoil right now. the moon is bringing all of this to light, with her intense power this weekend, but it’s just the push that we may need to make a few adjustments and changes and get back on the road that we know we want to travel on. that big ole moon is inspiring us to follow our hearts + our souls.

what this supermoon is giving us is a chance to sit with our truth. and if we still aren’t sure of that truth, which totally fine, by the way, then it is our opportunity to begin to discover it. and then to begin that journey of making our entire life all about living that truth.

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friends, i guarantee that we have the power we need to live our truth. we are already empowered with all that we need in order to do just that. it’s within us. and discovering it, setting it free, learning to live from our souls, well, that’s our life’s purpose. it’s all about learning to live more mindful, about being more aware, conscious, and alive.

and doesn’t that great big moon out there make you feel more alive?

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tonight and tomorrow night, let’s spend a few moments getting in touch with our inner power and wisdom. let’s use this weekend to help us see where we really are. to feel our truth and courageously step out on the next part of our journey. it’s time to use all that we know deep within our souls to make our life the life that we have always dreamed of. we’ve only got this one life, you know. so, we’d better make it count.

breathe deep. let the moon waves flow over you. stop for a minute and just be. remember, this supermoon is simply a rest stop on our life-long journey of transformation, discovery, exploration, love, freedom,  and peace.

in a few days, rested, refreshed, and re-energized, let’s get back on the road again. blasting our way through, empowered + inspired, embracing the life that we are truly called to live.

onwards + upwards! xoxo

how i discovered i was in real deep…

lately i’ve had a few days where i look in the mirror and think to myself as i twist + turn to catch a glimpse of all of my sides, “yep. i feel pretty damn good today.”

are there things to work on? yes, definitely. are there things that i feel not so great about? of course! but, i’m not focused on those things. the overriding feeling is one of power, peace, and pride.

i have no idea where all of this has come from, but i have been dwelling in those feelings for about a week now. and giving mucho thanks-o to the universe for feeling like this. i’m not sure that i have ever felt this… well, confidence and security in myself…. like this before.

me summer 2015

but, when i dig a bit deeper, i begin to uncover where all this just may be coming from.

i have been on an inner spiritual journey since moving to sweden. i’ve been social and had fun and all of that, but i have been doing a lot of inner work. i didn’t really choose to do it, it just has happened.

many of you may know that i am the queen of being. it’s right there, first, in my blog name. be. i can relax with the best of them. i thrive on meditating, soaking up, sitting still, kicking back, sleeping, having long fikas (coffee), gazing at the moon and the stars. i have definitely learned a lot about the art of living in the present moment and being aware. and this is something for which i am super grateful.

i am living a very connected, grounded, aware, peaceful life right now. and that empowers me.

but, the word empower suggests something:  a c t i o n .

and, little did i know it, but there is some action that has begun to surface in my life. it’s called aligning.

i have talked about living an authentic life on my blog before. living life true to yourself, aligning yourself with your purpose, yadda yadda. but, i realize now, that i have been talking about it – not really doing it. that’s not a bad thing, however. i needed to preach it till i reached it.

what i mean, is that all of this talk and thought about alignment has somehow led me to the place of actually beginning to align my life with who i am called to be. my purpose or destiny or whatever you want to call it. it’s really about beginning to not just think about my passions, but to actually live them. to let those passions, which i have discovered by going inward, begin to slipp out into my life.

so, i’ve been shifting and moving from an inner, contemplative focus to an outer, physical one. the changes that have been occurring and growing inside of me, from my soul, are beginning to sprout forth a like a seed in the spring. or, since it is almost autumn here, i could use the analogy that i am beginning to reap what i have sown. i am gathering in the harvest to be used and shared.

basically, folks, shit is happening in my life. and boy, am i in deep.

i’ve crossed a threshold and there is no turning back. i carry all of my meditative, contemplative ways of being with me throughout everyday (because that is how i breathe and stay connected), but a shift has occurred and now i’m all about action.

literally, what has been feeling good and secure on the inside, is now showing up on the outside.

i am taking my inner life and letting it be on display on the outside. all of the energy and peace that i have felt on the inside is now seeping out, ready to make its mark on the world in a whole new way.

this aligning, this matching my inner world and my outer world, is gonna take some time though. it’s not an overnight thing, but a slow, steady transformation that i am experiencing. still, there will be bursts of action, and i have already taken some very specific steps which are thrusting me forward into who i want to be and where i want my life to go (more on that later). i’m committed and i’m in deep.

in the meantime, I’m gonna stand in front of my mirror, take a deep breath and smile as i look at what i see, and then remind myself to get to work.

onwards + upwards!! xoxo

i only cry once in a blue moon – and that is totally ok

the energies all around me are intense right now. intense good + intense intense. know what i mean? let me explain a bit.

my emotions are running on high today. they are right on the surface and i could not keep them stuffed inside, even if i wanted to. i’ve been bursting shoulder-shaking into sobs i don’t know how many times throughout the day. tears just start streaming down my face and a lump remains in my throat. there is an heavy aching + emptiness in my soul. and waves of complete sadness just wash over me from head to toe every now and then. i feel exhausted. like i am lugging weights + chains around with me as i shuffle my feet everywhere i may go. which has not been far today. i am also tired.  i awoke at 4 am and noticed that it was a beautiful sunrise, so i spent some peaceful time with myself for about 2 hours before falling back into a deep sleep, only to have then that experience when you realize that you need to wake yourself up because you are having a horrible nightmare. and that’s all just been today.

sunrise

the 4am sunrise

mid-morning, my love + i walked with my brother to the train station to send him off as he heads back to the states today. this, of course, is a large source of my pain and anguish. my emptiness.

i’ve tried to process some things today, but i just can’t do it yet. however, i know that this melancholy, this  intense sadness, surfaces as such a strong emotion because there is much that is buried deeper, connected to it all. so, yes, my brother leaving is heart-wrenchingly painful. but, my intuition tells me that there is much, much more going on that stems from that. saying goodbye to my brother has just been the catalyst to set my emotions free. what it is, though, that is deep within me, i don’t really know. but, i feel it. and for right now, that is enough.

what i do know is that it has much to do with me living my truth, of me confronting my beliefs, my desires, my loves, my passions, my self, and how all of that is lived out in my life. 

it’s as if it’s all coming to a head now: will i step out and trust the shifts that are taking place, allowing myself to be launched out into a new, deeper, higher way of living? or will i sink back into the life that i have adjusted + adapted to? one that is wonderful, but does not let me live out my highest potential.

in the meantime, as my emotions have been building inside of me,  i haven’t been sleeping well. i’ve been moody, feeling filled with energy + totally lethargic as well. and, certainly, you understand now that my emotions have been seriously wacky today. there has been a release.

you know, it’s only once in a blue moon, though,  that i actually sob and let myself lose control of my emotions. but, i am going with it. because tonight we have a blue moon.

more importantly, it just feels right. i’m listening to my soul and letting my emotions just come leaking out of me. and it feels tough and exhausting, but cleansing at the same time. like i am preparing myself for something.

tonight is the second full moon in july. remember we had one back on july 1? it is this second full moon within one month that makes it a rare, powerful blue moon. and, aside from the obvious things that are making me feel sad (my brother leaving), this blue moon is, for me, happens to be on the day that my emotions have gotten the best of me.

no matter what, though, with the support of my loving wife by my side today, sharing her own tears with me, i know that i am in a safe place to just cry. and to allow myself to feel it today. to feel it all to the max. just to clarify, though, what i am feeling is not all sadness + emptiness, there are intensely high energy emotions as well. feelings of excitement + optimism, of unity + community, of love + complete overwhelmed joy. of anticipation + possibility. so, i’m just letting it all swirl around inside me.

because i know that my plethora of emotions are teaching me something. they are cleaning out my soul and giving me clarity about who i really am and who i want to be, of how to live my life in truth.

moon

so, lovely people, i have no idea how you are feeling today. but, if your emotions seem to be on overdrive, chalk it up to the full moon: the rare, beautiful, powerful blue moon, which just may be giving us, through our emotions, a new sense of awareness, a new calling, and setting us up for a completely new, challenging, intense path in life. let’s let our emotions fill us with the energy to boost us forward.

try to catch a glimpse of that big, mysterious moon tonight and let her light fill you + push you + comfort you. let yourself be guided right into that place where you need to be, which is exactly where you are.

onwards + upwards! xo