whenever september comes around: my season for rebirth

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” ― Mark Twain

41 septembers ago i was born. 8 septembers ago i felt as if i was reborn. and this september? well, i feel as if i am being reborn once again.

is it possible to be reborn multiple times in a lifetime? some, even many, would disagree with me, saying that a person can only be born again once. but, that’s just sad, i think. i’m not sure i could handle knowing that i had been born again, or reborn ( i like that word so much better), and with that one rebirth i was done. what would be the point of the rest of my life? why even bother living if being reborn meant that i had acquired everything i needed to be a complete human being, that i had already reached enlightenment, so to speak.

no, that’s not how i see life. instead, i see it much more like a lifelong transformation. a long adventure, where the destination isn’t even really that relevant. it’s really all about the journey all along the way.

when you think of it, all of nature is a cycle of rebirth, life, death, and then rebirth once again. we’re wired for growth and transformation. it’s organic. natural. authentic.

if life is a journey, then multiple births must be possible. they just signify the milestones and growth points that we pass along our way. but, they signify very, very important ones.

MY DISCOVERIES FROM THE SUMMER OF LOVE

in the background, as i have been doing my regular old blogging, enjoying summer, having adventures, and soaking up the people + moments of my life, i have also been doing some intense internal work.

it all began when i did 21 days of mantra meditation. like, i repeated out loud a different mantra every day for 30 minutes each day. it was powerful. there was no sitting quietly, meditating in silence. it was active, use my voice, feel the vibrations in my body, mantra-ing. and it was uncomfortable for one day. the rest of the days i felt energized, focused, and way more in touch with my soul than any other meditation series has ever given me.

i also have enjoyed a series of kundalini yoga passes that have been focused on the chakras. again, the movement, the focus, the hour-long yoga passes have inspired me + gotten me in touch with my soul more than ever before.

and i did all of these things at home. for free. by myself. i’ll leave you links to the 2 series (one on spotify + one a podcast) at the bottom of this post.

meditate

somehow, these active times of meditation, separated by a 3 week period of vacation time with my love, my brother + friends, have opened my understanding and my flow. they have been the closing moments of spirituality at this time of my life. my soul, my life, has naturally flowed from learning, listening, and discovering to living and doing.

soder-me-and-my-love

my rebirth means entering a new phase of my life. the groundwork has all been laid. the source of my empowerment from within has been tapped. there is nothing left to do but to leap forward and live all that i have been learning.

september + rebirth

so, here i am at the beginning of another september. ready to celebrate another orbit around the sun. in awe that i’ve had the joy and honor to live yet another beautiful year filled with ups, down, mountain, valleys, beautiful sites, terrifying moments, confusions, and moments of bliss. and ready to embark on yet another year of circling the sun. of becoming a little more of who i am created to be.

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on this first day of september, however, i feel something different. a feel a kind of rebirth again. of making another great step into living an authentic life, of not discovering my soul, as i have been doing for the past 8 years, but of learning to live from my soul.

the other day, just before the full moon, a kindred spirit friend of mine, stacy, posted a link to a website that has some “wisdom readings”. kind of like a horoscope, i think. just for fun, i clicked on the link and this is the reading that i received:

Rebirth
beginnings and endings; shedding identity; lunar rhythms; cycles; fresh start; letting go; the only constant is change

The snake bites its own tail, creating a circle that cycles on forever. The end meets the beginning in a rhythm that never stops, is always spinning.

The Rebirth card beckons with a chance to make a fresh start. You need to let go of the old to welcome the new. But through it all you will still be you. The waves of life rise and fall. Go ahead: ride them all.

shut the front door! that could not have been any more spot on. for how i feel in life. for the upcoming celebration of my 41st birthday. for all of the new things that i am undertaking as autumn is beginning. i was totally blown away. and it was a complete affirmation of this feeling of being reborn, once again, in my life.

what comes next

autumn is practically here. september is here as of today. it is the season of beginnings. of gathering the fruit of our planting. of reaping what we have sown. of focusing and getting to work. of embracing the season of finding the joy and sacredness in everyday life, in ordinary things, in living authentically, true to ourselves.

8 years ago, right during my last big rebirth, i was in seminary. studying theology and spirituality. i explored all of the ways (from a christian perspective) that we “know” god. how god is revealed to us. i was studying to be a pastor/priest/minister (whatever word makes sense to you). but, i always knew that i would never actually do that.

my heart + soul challenged me to find my own path back then. to not simply take what i learned and use it for myself in my work, but to reach back into my education as a teacher and use all that i was learning to teach + inspire others. but that process of finding my path has taken a while.

cathedral-uppsala

back then i felt the call to take all of the religious bullshit that made no sense, and inspire others to see that it’s not about the religion, but about relationships. it’s often assumed that to be religious or spiritual means that one also is holy, above others, closed-minded, untouchable, perfect. that religion + spirituality actually have nothing to do with everyday life.

and i can understand how people feel and think that. religion has done a fabulous job of alienating, excluding, boring, putting up walls, creating rules, and pushing away real life. people get lost in empty rituals or old routines that mean nothing, instead of being given tools and ways of meeting the spiritual in every single little moment of life.

because it is possible, my friends., to live a meaningful, mindful, spiritual life. and, oh how beautiful it is when life is lived like that.

spirituality is not a box. it is freedom. and that, is what i intend to use this next part of my life teaching.

in seminary, i formulated my ideas and beliefs on how we can know that life is meant to be lived more deeply, how we are here to do more than exist, and how spirituality is actually a part of everyday life. the creative energies that connect us all (whether you call them god, magic, allah, tao, spirit, or anything else) move in and among us at all times. empowering + inspiring us, and teaching us to live life from our soul. and when we do that, then we are in creation with each other + the whole world, making a difference, spreading love + light.

i want to share + inspire others to find all of the ways to tap into our souls. all of the ways that energy and divine, holy, magical, sacred things show up, helping us to align our lives with our life’s purpose. inspiration is found + created in scriptures, traditions, experience, books, words, people, art, places, stories, music, nature, religions, science, mystery…

birds

i believe that we are all searching for a deeper way to live life. and i have found a way of living with the mystery and magic – of learning to be, love, and live. how to follow my bliss. of course, my way is not the only way. in fact, my way is only my way for me. but, i am here to help inspire you and others to discover you own way, your own path, your own soul, your own truth.

the one truth that i do know, and i know it from a place that i cannot explain, is that we are all connected. that we are spiritual beings, called to live life as who we are created to be. and all of life is that beautiful journey of discovering + uncovering more of what’s in the depths of our soul, and how those depths are the places where the holy, divine energies of love and peace live.

my commitment

starting with this new month, with this new year of my life, in the midst of this new birth, i have committed myself to two different things which will help me work towards turning my dreams of writing, photography, education, blogging, and teaching into a business. a business that helps to guide and inspire others in finding their own bliss, in listening to their own souls, in living a mindful, intentional life filled with spirit and peace.

yoga mat sat nam rasaya

yesterday i began a year-long training called sat nam rasayan.  in sanskrit sat nam rasayan means “deep relaxation in the Divine Name” or “rise to oneself to the essence of True identity”.  it  is a meditative technique that focuses on the full ability to feel, thus leading to healing, or wholeness. it is a part of the study of kundalini yoga, something that i have practiced off and on for about 4 years now. this is an amazing opportunity to help me in working with myself + with others, in discovering our paths, our souls, and our unique purposes in life.

in october i will also begin a year-long course in life coach training. it will be an amazing year of learning all of the ins and outs of becoming an internationally certified life coach, or as i will say, spiritual coach.

so, in a year, i will be a certified spiritual coach with a certification in sat nam rasayan meditation as well. well on my way of beginning to practically answer my call to minister, guide, teach, and journey with others, as they discover their own souls.

 it is an amazing time in my life. and i am so incredibly blessed.


so. yeah. that was a lot of information. i may have simply written it down for myself. but, if you made it through and read it to the end, then i am eternally grateful for you caring enough to read my thoughts + words.

please know that i am here for you. i will listen to you, just as you have followed and read and listened to me. it’s a mutual give and take.

until next time, dear friends, may the spirit of love + peace fill your souls. may each day be a new experience of birth for you, as you become more + more the person that you were created to be. and may you be inspired by all that is around you, seeking the sacred + holy in the most ordinary of moments.

“The whole life of the individual is nothing but the process of giving birth to himself; indeed, we should be fully born when we die – although it is the tragic fate of most individuals to die before they are born.” ― Erich FrommThe Sane Society

onwards + upwards! xoxo

21 day mantra meditation // click –> here
yoga vision wheels of life chakra series // click –> here

supermoon saturday: a chance to sit with your truth

if you haven’t noticed, there’s a full moon rising out your window tonight. ok. it’s not a fully, full moon. but, it’s 99% full. so, pretty much full. the actual full moon happens on the 29th, sometime early/late in the morning. hopefully, it’s clear wherever you are, so you can head outside or peek out your window and gaze at this big, beautiful, special moon.

it’s super special actually. because it’s a supermoon. and that actually is a thing.

a supermoon is when the moon is super close to the earth, at its closest, and therefore looks much larger than other times of the year. amazingly, we have a supermoon this month, next month, and in october. three in a row. now, that’s crazy talk. 

so, have you been feeling crazy lately? restless? emotional? tired? off balance? energized? inspired? confused?

i think i’ve covered all of them lately. with the ending of summer, the beginning of routines, and lots of plans in my mind, in addition to the pull of the need to think practically, i have been, once again, sleeping like a crazy person. up every single night at 3:30 am. sometimes i lay awake until the sun comes up. other times i just pet the cat and go straight back to sleep.

one thing is for sure, there is a ton of energy all around me and inside me. and what other reason than because it’s a supermoon, right? hehe. i mean, just think about all that energy and how the moon affects and changes the tides. surely it has to affect us too…

well, i believe that it does. and even if you don’t believe in any of that hippie dippy magical stuff, the moon does affect us. the energy is present in us, just as it is in the waves of the sea. and anytime mother nature does something special, it’s a great time to slow down and ponder life a little.

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this supermoon is a deep, intense one that can help me, and you, face these last 4 months of 2015. for the past 8 months life has been moving on for us. things have changed, we have changed. and right now, we have a chance to pause. like, when you’re on a roadtrip and need to get off at an exit for a rest stop. to refuel, reevaluate, and pull out that old map again.

that’s what this moon is urging us to do. to just pull over for a minute and reassess our journey so far. to make sure we are on the right road. headed where we want to be headed.

think back to the beginning of 2015. what were your dreams? what was your vision? how did you hope that this year would go? what steps have you taken in your 2015 journey so far? what have you seen, done, experienced as you sped down the 2015 highway?

now, think about this with me: does today’s reality match up with what you remember? it might not. and that’s ok. perhaps we have changed our course, or its been changed for us unexpectedly. perhaps we are precisely where we wanted to be, and it’s just to push onward.

whatever you discover, embrace it. and let yourself relax in the fact that, no matter what, you are exactly where you are supposed to be.

don’t freak out, friends. if things don’t seem like you thought they would seem, it doesn’t mean that you are on the wrong track. it just means that with the intense energy of this moon, we can receive the courage to be truthful with ourselves. to really look at where we are and evaluate the path that we have chosen these past months.

and here’s the brave question put before us: are our heads + hearts in alignment with our dreams + goals?

if we feel that we are aligned, if we are living authentically to that which our souls call us to be, then right now as we gaze at the big moon in the sky, we may fall deeper in love with our lives and our journeys.

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this is exactly where i am right now. it actually frightens me to say that, but it’s true. somehow, the journey i have been on this year has led me to a place where i am embracing those things that i am called to be + do. and i am being + doing it. things are changing – and i’m freaked out and scared, but i know that it is right. it is time for me to grow and expand and trust.

however, if we have been neglecting our intuition and not following our soul’s purpose, then we will be feeling a bit of anxiety and turmoil right now. the moon is bringing all of this to light, with her intense power this weekend, but it’s just the push that we may need to make a few adjustments and changes and get back on the road that we know we want to travel on. that big ole moon is inspiring us to follow our hearts + our souls.

what this supermoon is giving us is a chance to sit with our truth. and if we still aren’t sure of that truth, which totally fine, by the way, then it is our opportunity to begin to discover it. and then to begin that journey of making our entire life all about living that truth.

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friends, i guarantee that we have the power we need to live our truth. we are already empowered with all that we need in order to do just that. it’s within us. and discovering it, setting it free, learning to live from our souls, well, that’s our life’s purpose. it’s all about learning to live more mindful, about being more aware, conscious, and alive.

and doesn’t that great big moon out there make you feel more alive?

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tonight and tomorrow night, let’s spend a few moments getting in touch with our inner power and wisdom. let’s use this weekend to help us see where we really are. to feel our truth and courageously step out on the next part of our journey. it’s time to use all that we know deep within our souls to make our life the life that we have always dreamed of. we’ve only got this one life, you know. so, we’d better make it count.

breathe deep. let the moon waves flow over you. stop for a minute and just be. remember, this supermoon is simply a rest stop on our life-long journey of transformation, discovery, exploration, love, freedom,  and peace.

in a few days, rested, refreshed, and re-energized, let’s get back on the road again. blasting our way through, empowered + inspired, embracing the life that we are truly called to live.

onwards + upwards! xoxo

how i discovered i was in real deep…

lately i’ve had a few days where i look in the mirror and think to myself as i twist + turn to catch a glimpse of all of my sides, “yep. i feel pretty damn good today.”

are there things to work on? yes, definitely. are there things that i feel not so great about? of course! but, i’m not focused on those things. the overriding feeling is one of power, peace, and pride.

i have no idea where all of this has come from, but i have been dwelling in those feelings for about a week now. and giving mucho thanks-o to the universe for feeling like this. i’m not sure that i have ever felt this… well, confidence and security in myself…. like this before.

me summer 2015

but, when i dig a bit deeper, i begin to uncover where all this just may be coming from.

i have been on an inner spiritual journey since moving to sweden. i’ve been social and had fun and all of that, but i have been doing a lot of inner work. i didn’t really choose to do it, it just has happened.

many of you may know that i am the queen of being. it’s right there, first, in my blog name. be. i can relax with the best of them. i thrive on meditating, soaking up, sitting still, kicking back, sleeping, having long fikas (coffee), gazing at the moon and the stars. i have definitely learned a lot about the art of living in the present moment and being aware. and this is something for which i am super grateful.

i am living a very connected, grounded, aware, peaceful life right now. and that empowers me.

but, the word empower suggests something:  a c t i o n .

and, little did i know it, but there is some action that has begun to surface in my life. it’s called aligning.

i have talked about living an authentic life on my blog before. living life true to yourself, aligning yourself with your purpose, yadda yadda. but, i realize now, that i have been talking about it – not really doing it. that’s not a bad thing, however. i needed to preach it till i reached it.

what i mean, is that all of this talk and thought about alignment has somehow led me to the place of actually beginning to align my life with who i am called to be. my purpose or destiny or whatever you want to call it. it’s really about beginning to not just think about my passions, but to actually live them. to let those passions, which i have discovered by going inward, begin to slipp out into my life.

so, i’ve been shifting and moving from an inner, contemplative focus to an outer, physical one. the changes that have been occurring and growing inside of me, from my soul, are beginning to sprout forth a like a seed in the spring. or, since it is almost autumn here, i could use the analogy that i am beginning to reap what i have sown. i am gathering in the harvest to be used and shared.

basically, folks, shit is happening in my life. and boy, am i in deep.

i’ve crossed a threshold and there is no turning back. i carry all of my meditative, contemplative ways of being with me throughout everyday (because that is how i breathe and stay connected), but a shift has occurred and now i’m all about action.

literally, what has been feeling good and secure on the inside, is now showing up on the outside.

i am taking my inner life and letting it be on display on the outside. all of the energy and peace that i have felt on the inside is now seeping out, ready to make its mark on the world in a whole new way.

this aligning, this matching my inner world and my outer world, is gonna take some time though. it’s not an overnight thing, but a slow, steady transformation that i am experiencing. still, there will be bursts of action, and i have already taken some very specific steps which are thrusting me forward into who i want to be and where i want my life to go (more on that later). i’m committed and i’m in deep.

in the meantime, I’m gonna stand in front of my mirror, take a deep breath and smile as i look at what i see, and then remind myself to get to work.

onwards + upwards!! xoxo