reclaiming december // a dark new moon is just the beginning

f*uck it. let’s just do this already.

things have been changing and crazy and tough and beautiful for the past 3 years. whatever was started during the holidays of 2012 is coming to a close now. there are clear bookends.

in the new age/astrological/spiritual world, 2012 was the beginning of something, a great time of change, which would end right about now. and, amazingly, if i look at my life… that rings oh so very true.

the beginning (2012)

this time three years ago, lina and i were living in sweden and we desperately needed a change. so, we started planning a move to the states. lina had applied to study graphic design, and we were smack in the middle of a dreaming away how our life was going to change and be amazing as we gathered together everything we needed in order to leave sweden behind and live in the heart of asheville, north carolina – a place that we were completely drawn to (and had lived in before). it was the city of our souls. it felt like a new beginning was on the horizon and we were just about burst with excitement.

the asheville years (2013-2014)

we did make that move to asheville in mid-2013, just 6 months after deciding that that was our dream. and we lived an amazing, inspiring, creative, freeing, soul-filling year and a half there. we loved it more that i could ever describe or say. we had so many  incredible friends around us filling our days and nights. we connected deeply with my brother, spending at least 3 evenings each week with him. we enjoyed the ability to see my parents whenever we wanted. we had more craft beer than we could ever ask for. we had the magical, ancient mountains around us. and we had a cozy, beautiful home. in many ways, it was a perfect time in our life.

moving-out-party-asheville

our last night in our home in asheville

it was a time of peace. but, not a time to settle down. we lived a dream life, but something about it was not real. it was “too good to be true”. but, it was exactly what we needed and deserved. and we truly soaked it up, lina learning and becoming a graphic designer. me, finally dropping into my currently spirituality and practicing the life of a writer + photographer.

onwards + upwards in sweden (2015)

and, then, this time last year, we decided to move back to sweden. it broke our hearts to leave this utopia that we had created. but, we knew, we trusted, that it was right.

so, filled with all sorts of emotions, and with heavy, heavy hearts, in the beginning of 2015, we moved to uppsala. it was truly one of those things that we knew was right, but we knew it wouldn’t be easy. and it most definitely has not been easy. and yet, something about it has been beautiful at the same time.

apartment-uppsala-lina-window

our first (temporary) home in uppsala

lina began to work full-time as a graphic designer, which she loved. but, she found herself dealing with old ghosts and facing this eating disorder that she has been dragging around with her for years. but, thankfully, she was able to start to get some help. such an amazing thing, but such a tough journey.

and me… i began to try to figure out something. what i wanted to do. how i would live the life that i knew was possible.  i knew that i could not just settle for anything as my work. i had learned to live from my soul in asheville. it had been an important transition time for me, to teach me that more is possible. so, this year, much that i had learned about trusting, being, breathing, living from my soul was put into real practice for the first time. and i began taking control of my life in a whole other way than before. it was half waiting + trusting, and half making shit happen.

the beginning again

now, today, as 2015 comes to a close, a certain period of life for lina and me also comes to a close. what was begun in the end of 2012, a period of exploration of who we are, and the kind of life that we want, is over. and simultaneously, a new period is also just beginning.

especially with my love…. in many ways, she “simply” continues this fight that she has begun. and oh what a tough, exhausting fight it is. but, she is moving forward. she is trying so hard. and, as this year comes to a close, i believe that she has decided that she is committed to this process. she knows what she needs. and she knows what she wants.

for me, though, this is the ending of period of discovering who i am, after 8 years of exploration and transforming and growing. i know this more deeply than i know anything right now.

it is time to move on. a whole new beginning is on the horizon. there is no more need to work on discovering and uncovering and exploring all that i have been working on in the past years.

now, is the time to get moving. to manifest.

no moon new darkness

today’s new moon, the last of 2015, is here to inspire me (us) to get going. 

it is dark. very very dark right now. the nights are oh so long. daylight only lasts for a few hours up here in sweden. and, today, there is no moon to be seen, though she is there, just hidden. so we are wrapped up in darkness and silence and cold. literally. of course, there is also quite a bit of figurative darkness swirling around the world and in our individual lives right now as well.

but, oh what potential there lies in that. (remember what i said about what darkness really is?)

new moon home morning

so, right now, today, is the time to breathe. to dig deep and find our courage. to embrace the dark and listen for just a minute. but, not too long.

because this is not the time for soaking up. this is the time for action. for committing and beginning the next phase of our journey in life. it’s a whole new road, a whole new path, a whole new pilgrimage. 

and, we, i, all of us, have so much to say. so much to share. so much to create. so much to do. i can literally feel that it is time. each of us are here for a purpose. each of us have something amazing to offer this world. we are needed. exactly who we are is someone very special, with something very unique to share with the world.

all that has happened in the past is starting to make sense right now. perhaps we have discovered much about who we are and how we want to live. and we are becoming secure and certain in that. perhaps we have just begun that journey, or are even in the middle of it. no matter where we are, though, now, it is time to live it. to embrace it. to share it. to teach it. we, you and i, have something to say. and we have an amazing life to live.

it is time to live completely differently than we have in the past.

gamla-uppsala-mound

it is time to step into the future that has been waiting all along. the future that we have been called to. the future that has been deep within our souls, that makes us feel alive, that is our bliss. now is the time to live it.

for me, the asheville years were about dropping into who i was. about shedding much of the past, much of what i thought i was supposed to do, about having the gift of time to explore and discover who i wanted to be. this past year has been about becoming who i am, so that i can finally live the life i am meant to. a life that is on fire.

tonight’s new moon is telling me, like she is telling you… just do it. now is the time to follow our hearts. to live the life that makes our soul sing, and in turn, creates peace, love, and inspiration in every part of our life. it is time to let our lives overflow with all that we have to share and offer. time to embrace who we are and dare to live our life exactly as we want.

let’s just f*ucking do it.

// as always, if you want to talk or process your own journey, i’m here to listen. just leave a comment or send me an email >>> liz {at} belovelive {dot} com. //

new moon blessings to you. xoxo

 

 * thanks to the words + insights of kate rose for inspiring me to write this post

21 comments

  1. Gesine says:

    Dear Liz, thank you for this post. As I read it I travled back in my head to 2012, t he year I fist meet you and Lina. Than on to 2014 when I visited you in Asheville and this year, seeing you in your new home and life in Uppsala! I´m so glad I met you and was able to see and be part of your way. Let´s see what the new moon and the new year brings. <3 G

  2. Thanks so much – I needed this. I recently got a series of very harsh reminders that the way I invest my time and my creative energy counts. Who I give my attention to counts. And the life I choose to live, the music I choose to make, it counts!! Looking at all of this from the perspective you’re sharing, it all makes so much sense. Move in the direction that gives life. Easy, hard, light, dark, it’s all about moving in the direction that gives life. Thank you again!

    • Liz says:

      Yay you! I’m absolute grateful that my post was able to help you thing about some things. What a humbling comment! Thanks!! xoxo

  3. Melly says:

    I swear all of your posts give me chills (in the good way of course). I have really enjoyed your December entries about the darkness, it is good to remember there is another side. Your entry got my brain thinking as well about the shifts through the last three years and I am writing about it. I am going to put a link to your blog in my latest entry-I hope you don’t mind.
    Wishing you a wonderful New Moon. And not to get ahead of ourselves did you know that this Christmas will have its first Full Moon in almost 4 decades? I think there is something in the air this December.

    • Liz says:

      I did know about the full moon – and I totally forgot to write about it! There is most definitely something magical happening this December. And I am so very glad that you are enjoying the darkness posts that I’m scattering throughout the month. Stay tuned for more – and I hope that your new moon was amazing. xo

    • Liz says:

      Oh, and you are so sweet to tell me that my posts give you chills. That is just about one of the sweetest things you could say! Love that! xo

  4. […] this morning I read an entry from one of the blogs I follow (and you should too). Liz mentioned that there was something in the […]

  5. Liz says:

    Beautiful and inspiring! I’m loving the darkness series, making me reconsider things I’d never really given much thought. HUGS to you and Lina in this season!

    • Liz says:

      So so so glad you love the darkness series!! I just felt that I wanted to take the journey myself, and that it’d be better not to travel alone. 🙂 Super glad you’re enjoying the ride! The last few days of the year, I’ve got a “word of the year” planning series to share! 😉 Hope you and your Hott man have had a great weekend! xo

  6. Farm Girl says:

    This post spoke to me deeply. Over the last few weeks I have rooted around in my past, looked at the decisions I made, what came of it and how I ended up where I am today. It was such a cathartic process, I feel like I worked through all my baggage and came out purified and at peace. It’s crazy to me that you are at a similar place in your life! Or maybe not crazy at all? If it really is connected to the moon, like you say, then it makes perfect sense.
    Thanks for your inspiring, thought-provoking, uplifting posts. I’m looking forward to them every day!
    xoxo Miriam

    • Liz says:

      It is so crazy Miriam, that our paths seem to be paralleling each other! But, I absolutely love that kindred soul feeling. 🙂 So glad that you’ve been digging around and exploring your past some, and letting it inspire you today. It’s such a perspective-gaining process isn’t it?! Thanks for following along, and I am absolutely humbled by your sweet words about my posts. xoxo

  7. Tracy Smith says:

    ‘ there are clear bookends.’ I really love the way you wrote this. It is a perfect way of phrasing the changes that have taken place and starting a whole new process. You always write beautifully and from reading the comments here, it sounds as though you have inspired us all to contemplate on the past several years. I also know that I have a new journey ahead of me, but I feel certain that it’s going to be the best of times. You and Lina both inspire me, so much. Your blog posts light up my days. It’s so wonderful to get good glimpses into two admirable women’s life together. It brings much hope to mine!

    • Liz says:

      I am absolutely grateful and excited that you feel inspired by his post. You are so very kind and supportive, and it means to world to me and Lina. Here’s to a bright future for us all!! xx

  8. This is one kick ass, inspiring post Liz. Sometimes it is incredibly hard realizing that to move forward, we actually have to *seemingly* move backwards. I am glad you & Lina have each other to draw strength (and love) from. To better things in 2016 – cheers!

  9. Holly says:

    There are definitely some book ends going on, and I’ve always enjoyed following the journey you kindly share!
    You describe your life in Asheville as a ‘utopia’… may I ask so boldly, if you felt that, why did you leave? I know the reasons… but there must be more beyond the fact of jobs reasons? I’m so pleased your both getting through the transition process now, here’s to a wonderful 2016!

    • Liz says:

      I am not avoiding this question about living Asheville, but it is 1:15am and I can’t really think through it all right now. 🙂 It was just time to leave, and we knew it was right. Lina get her job, and a lot of it was practical. We love to travel, and we can’t do it as easily in the States (time and money). And there’s much more… but that’s a bit. And, just because we love it so much there, does not mean that we do not love it here- just in completely different ways. 🙂

      • Holly says:

        You would never need to answer a question I put anyway you know love, it’s your life and blog I’m just a voyeur! Though I can understand the bit about loving to travel and the differences in europe to the states. In europe with cheap air fares and a gazillion such different places to go relatively close by it’s very conventient isn’t it! 🙂

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liz

slow living. photography. craft beer. spirituality. moon + stars. bare feet. road trips. mexican food. blankets. the ocean. journals. coffee. airplanes. forests. meditation. eating out. cacti. playlists. family time. zola the cat. lina, my love.

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