i have mixed emotions about 2012.
i’m usually a bit sad to see the end of the year come, like i’m losing an old friend. but i must admit, i’m more than happy to let my 2012 chapter come to a close. and, while 2012 has given me some wonderful, amazing moments & experiences, there are many moments that i would rather not ever repeat. of course, i know that i would not be where i am, who i am, and ready for the new year, without having gone through all the moments of 2012. but, still, it’s time to move on. and i am so ready.
so, you see. mixed emotions.
yes, 2012 was a crazy balance of fear, pain, and suffering; and finding something new & strong within myself. it was a combination of soaking up life like i’d never done before & being afraid of my love literally losing her life. it was a time of discovering my bliss and at the same time discovering the depths of despair.
but more than anything, 2012 was a year that taught me the art of truly living one day at a time. and i learned how to truly do that out of the sheer need for survival on some days and out of the joy of sheer bliss on other days.
looking back, it all makes sense now. of course, life is always like that, right? it works itself out, or at least clarifies itself as time progresses. and i love where i am now. do i want to go through it all again? hell no. not the pain & fear of losing my love. not the months spent alone in sweden. yet, because of all of that uncertainty, fear, homesickness, loneliness, and anger, i have grown as a person. i have defined myself even more. i have fallen in love with my love even more. and i have learned that one day at time, life reveals herself as a beautiful, strange, difficult, and amazing journey.
now, there are only a few hours left in 2012. a few hours to spend with my parents & my love. a few hours to countdown the last moments of this year, and celebrate the beginning of a new one. yes, it’s time to look forward.
as one person i met in 2012 said to me & my love… “there is only one way. framåt! forward!”
yes, i am thankful (i say that with a twinge and squint in my eye, because it is true, but still it is hard to say) for everything that happened in 2012, to get me to this day. but, it’s time to close this chapter and move on.
and i love that there are tons of new adventures on the horizon. i love that my love is following her dreams. i love that there is so much travel in my future. i love that i have found my bliss, that which makes my soul dance. i love that i will be sharing all of these adventures with my love. i love that i have dreams that i am working to make reality.
2013 is about making it happen. it’s about grabbing life, living it up, chasing those dreams down, living my bliss, and having one adventure after another. it’s about changes & opportunities. and those changes and opportunities are so welcome.
so, farewell, 2012. you have been tough on me and beautiful for me all at the same time. thank you for your gift of teaching me even more about what it means to live in the present moment. i bid you goodbye, and your chapter comes to an end.
tomorrow, i begin again with a beautiful, blank page just waiting to be filled with words, photos, doodles, and adventures.
“Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.”
wishing you all peace & love & celebrations as you say goodbye to 2012. i hope that your year has taught you, changed you, and transformed you. i pray that you can leave it behind with a sense of accomplishment and peace.