the day that love came to north carolina

asheville city hall same sex marriage

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here we are. in 2010. at a rally for marriage equality in raleigh, north carolina. 

yesterday was day one in north carolina.

what does that mean? it means that it was the first day, ever, that same sex couples were finally treated as equals. the first day that same-sex couples received the right to file for marriage licenses and get married. and the first day that my love and i were legally, officially, recognized as a married couple in my home state.

it’s been a long time coming, and for a while, i wondered how long we would have to wait to be able to have the right to marry and build a life with the one that we love. but, tonight i saw same sex couples getting married in asheville, north carolina. like legally married. not a commitment ceremony, but a real live, legal marriage. with paperwork from the government and all. in north carolina!

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it’s a long legal story, that sped up in intensity this past monday after a ruling in virginia struck down the law that defined marriage as only between a man and a women. in other words, it was unconstitutional (illegal). that ruling opened the door for other states to also strike down their own bans on same-sex marriage. north carolina has had a ban on gay marriage for a while now, but i didn’t really believe that the law would be stuck down anytime soon.

so, after a lot of drama and a lot of waiting, and hoping, and wishing, and last ditch political and horrific stalling tactics by republican, and almost giving up, at the last minute on friday night, a judge in north carolina ruled that the ban on same-sex marriage was unconstitutional (because of what happened in virginia on monday). and then, within minutes, same- sex marriages were allowed to begin. I couldn’t believe it when i saw it in my twitter feed.

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when i saw the news on twitter… i ran to lina. we stood in amazement. just looking at each other. suddenly, within a flash, our marriage was recognized in our state. suddenly we were a married couple in north carolina – with rights and privileges. not just two girls living together. but, legitimately married. it felt amazing. and i could hardly breathe.

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here we are, literally minutes after same sex marriage became legal in north carolina last night. we had to celebrate with a photo of a real, live, legally recognized married couple!

the government offices where you get marriage licenses stayed open late all across the state after the ruling in favor of same sex marriages. and couples poured in to get their licenses, and then immediately get married. there were ministers and clergy available everywhere to marry people right on the spot.

we decided to hop in the car and head down to the government building to be a part of this historic moment, and when we arrived, we saw that there were people milling about everywhere. couples were scattered in groups on the stairs in front of the building, getting married right there. other couples cheered them on. lina and i joined in. it is unbelievable how this truly affects the lives of so many people and so many families. it is so amazing that this has happened. that it is real.

to be clear, lina and i do not have to get married again. we were married in sweden almost 5 years ago, and as of last night, that marriage is now legal in north carolina! so, no ceremonies for us. only celebrations that our love and our marriage is something that is real and valid and recognized now. *deep breath* amazing.

here are photos of the wedding ceremonies and celebrations happening just after the ruling. it was so emotional and powerful and unbelievable…

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the rest of the photos are not mine. i pulled them off of different places on twitter. but, it shows you just some of the couples in asheville that got marriage licenses and got married. what a huge, mind-blowing, heart-exploding day! look at how cute these couples are – and they (along with lina and i) get to celebrate their love – and be recognized as full, legitimate spouses!

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yep. yesterday was day one. the day that love came to north carolina. the day that equality and justice won. i am so proud. so excited. and so overjoyed. and you know what else? it really did feel different walking around today, holding my love’s, my wife’s, hand – knowing that we are not just two women who live together. but, in the eyes of the law of north carolina and the united states, we are legally married. it is a binding contract, affording us the same rights and privileges as opposite gender couples. and i cannot adequately describe to you how incredible this feels.

yesterday, love won.

light + love

making time for my love

lina and me, ego, selfie

lina and me

Whoa, life has been busy lately. So crazy… and I have been no where near living any semblance of a regular life. I mean, nothing’s been really bad. A tiny bit of stress, but just so much other stuff to focus on mostly. And, I have been so thankful that I have been here to give my attention to other people and other things for the past 3 and a half months, but I need me time. More importantly, I need me and Lina time.

I’ve been thinking… in addition to communication and respect and honesty, the one thing that I find so important in marriage/relationships is making time for each other. Just the two of you. And, while I’d love to book that ticket to some island and just go dangle my feet in a pool with my love beside me for a week, I know that is not possible. However, it is most definitely possible to set aside time for each other – just my love and me. So, that’s what we’re gonna do. Of course, there are lots of amazing people to see and things to do this weekend, but, we will also carve out time to just sit in our home, stuff our faces with popcorn and wine, and binge on True Blood’s last season. We will make some meals together, drink coffee on the balcony together, and work in our studio together.

Yep, for the next few days, I’m giving all my attention to the one who makes my world go ’round. Happy Friday Eve, peeps!!

Peace & love. xx

celebrate life!

my love on a bike

last month, my love celebrated her one year life anniversary – it was one year since she was put in the hospital for the second time to help her beat the anorexia nervosa which had taken over her life for the past 10-ish years. that last time in the hospital was the time that made all of the difference – as she is now on the road to recovery and has taken her life back.

however, today is the same in importance, if not greater. today is the two year anniversary of lina’s first visit to the hospital. two years ago today was one of the worst days of my life – and hers too. i remember experiencing it, but feeling like i was having an out-of-body experience at the same time. my love was knocking on death’s door – literally. it was so bad that she had no idea what was going on, her body was shutting down, and her doctors and psychologists had to commit her to the hospital. i went with them, but i remember the complete panic i felt when i had to leave her there. oh, just thinking about it makes my stomach do flips and my heart beat fast. i was terrified. she was terrified. but, she was not my love. the anorexia had taken over completely… i knew that lina was still inside, and i prayed that she would be able to rediscover herself before her eating disorder killed her. oh god, i was so scared.

she stayed in that hospital for three, long, difficult months. she fought treatment, and then she finally found the strength to slowly begin fighting the anorexic monster that lived inside her. she had amazing angels in the form of nurses and therapists around her that made all of this possible. they saved her life… but, of course, it was my love, herself, that actually saved her own life.

as for me, i learned more than i ever thought i would about anorexia, about myself, about living alone in a foreign country, about how to back off & let the health professionals take over my role of caregiver, about giving up control, about how to get my own life back and rid our home of the “third” roommate that had become part of our lives.

but, enough about the past. today it’s all about the present – right now. it’s all about celebrating my love’s life and the life that we share together. and, it is all because my love is  the strongest, most beautiful (inside and out!), most amazing woman i have ever known! she is a fighter and a survivor – and i celebrate every little thing about her amazingness today!

my love

so, here’s to living life to the fullest and loving every minute! xx

if you or someone you know is suffering from an eating disorder, remember, it is possible to recover – though it is a long, tough road. but, you cannot do it alone. there is help – there are people who can help. please contact someone. as my love would say… it is so worth it to get your life back.
check out the national eating disorders association here for more information.