100% chaos.

i’m not complaining. just so you know.

but, it’s been a while since i worked 100%, full-time. 2012 has brought me the amazing opportunity to work part-time (50%) at my internship (which i already did in 2011) and part-time (50%) at the church. so, i’m back in the full-time, 40 hours per week working world. feels amazing! but, it’s also leaving my head spinning a little bit.

it was weird for the past year & a half, not really working. it felt really good & really crappy at the same time. good to have a break, kind of a sabbatic,l & a chance to be a little bit of a hermit (which is good for recharging the soul). but, bad in the sense that, not working can leave one feeling a little worthless.

true, i would love to sit on a beach or in a pub or just travel the world and be on permanent vacation. at the same time, i think something inside of me dies when i don’t have the stress, chaos, and busy-ness that a job creates in life. that’s right. chaos inspires me. i thrive when i am going full-speed ahead. even though i crave quiet, alone time with myself. however, i actually seem to find it more when i am engaged in meaningful work. it’s a dance between chaos & serenity. now let me be clear, even going full-speed ahead for me tends to be rather calm. i am not a work-a-holic. i may be busy on the outside, but inside i’m usually calm & at peace. of course things are running around in my head, but i’m talking about my soul – deep inside. there is a peace inside me when i’m working. perhaps it comes from the hope that what i’m doing is making a difference somewhere.

anyway, this new year has recharged me and has thrust me full-speed ahead into life again. being blessed to have 2 places of work to go to (when so many are struggling  to find work right now) fills me with inspiration. check back with me in a few days or weeks and ask me if i’m still feeling as inspired or at peace… hehe.

with that said, time is clicking away and i must go & get ready for work! hope you have a great wednesday!!

peace & serenity in the midst of chaos.