day 30: my personality.

“why am i as i am? to understand that of any person, his whole life, from birth must be reviewed. all of our experiences fuse into our personality. everything that ever happened to us is an ingredient.”  ~ malcolm x

people, this was not easy. i realized today i didn’t have a good grip on what my personality is like… at least from other peoples’ viewpoint. i mean, i know what i think i’m like, but how do i appear to others? what do others really think of me? how do they see me? and even more confusing, how do i take a picture of my personality? what kind of image do i use?

in order to solve this problem, i did what any good married chick would do… i asked my wife: lina, if you could describe my personality in a word or 2 or 3, which ones would you choose? well, she gave me an answer. a beautiful, humbling, wonderful answer. should i list the words here?

loving. caring. patient. listener.

wow.

i wonder, though, what would others say? but, more importantly, what would i say about myself? how do i see myself? and does how i see myself line up with how others see me, or am i living in some fantasy world in my head, thinking that i am one way while i actually appear a completely different way to others? who do i want to be? how do i want to be seen? something to ponder a while…

well, after wondering all day, i finally found some pictures that i decided to use for my image for my personality. i think it’s how i see myself, and i hope that it’s how others see me too, in one way or another.

peaceful. loving. calm. relaxed. independent. introvert.

“the most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. you trade in your reality for a role. you trade in your sense for an act. you give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. there can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. it’s got to happen inside first.” ~ jim morrison

what do you think? how do you see me? how do you see yourself? how would you describe your personality? how would you capture it in an image?

it feels like a night for reflecting & just being. wishing you some moments just to be with yourself. peace.

day 29: numbers.

i kept trying to think of something really creative for today’s photo challenge… numbers. but, nothing came to me. though, i did keep looking at this clock this afternoon and thinking about how time passes.

and then i thought this: if not now, then when?

yeah. when? if i don’t live life, suck everything out of it that i can, soak up every little moment, seek out adventure, change, craziness, embrace my inner carefree, free-spirited nature, and take risks & leaps of faith… then what happens? if i don’t do it now, today, then when? tomorrow is not promised. an opportunity may never come again. and i do not want to be 85 years old, sitting in my rocking chair, wondering “what if?”. nope. not me. time keeps passing. and it moves faster & faster it seems. if i wait too long, time will slip right by me. life is to be lived… today. right now. right here.

so, if not now, then when?

don’t waste another minute. follow your dreams. live life. find your passion & go for it! ok. enough blogging for today. time to be with my little family…

carpe diem! peace.

day 28: today’s weather from my kitchen window.

  • 7am: mostly cloudy. wispy, light, with a tiny bit of blue peeking through. i had hope for a sunny day.
  • 1pm: cotton ball clouds & some blue sky. it still looked like it might clear up & warm up. holding on with hope.
  • 8pm: cloudy. overcast. windy. chilly. and yes, it even rained.

bye bye beautiful, early, swedish summer. the weatherman says it’s gonna be cloudy, chilly,  rainy for some days. hmpf. time to snuggle down under a blanket & start thinking about coziness again. speaking of snuggling down, i am so freaking tired (since i haven’t been sleeping so much/so good lately) and i keep going to be really late & waking up reaaaally early. tonight, though, i give up. i’m snuggling down under my covers, watching an episode of downton abbey, and then going to sleep – even if it’s still light out (though, it is after 10pm, mind you).

so, i’m wishing you all a good night’s sleep. may you feel calm, safe, & be able to rest for some hours… sweet dreams. peace.

27: something sweet.

today was a a little bit sweet and sour, i’d say. up & down. so, it is with some days, right?

i know i write a lot about living in the present, listening to your soul, and finding peace & joy in the ordinary moments of every day life. i wonder how many people think that i just spit out all of that oozy, gooey sweet stuff.  i wonder how many people think that there is no way in hell that they can do the things i suggest/write about because they are simply trying to survive and don’t see any way out of where they are right now. sometime i wonder if my inspirational words only serve to irritate some people, like i’m too sweet and sugar-y. i’ve heard in the past that i keep my head in the clouds and seem to stay away from things that are difficult… that my life is so perfect and happy, that i would not understand at all those people who are going through real difficult times.

well, if you think that, then you’re wrong. sorry, you’re way wrong. my life is not always sweet. it is sour & bitter as well.

i must say, though, that i practice what i preach. i really do try to live in the present moment and listen to my soul (that’s why i do yoga, read, and sit). and i really do look for peace every day – even if i only notice one, little moment. and these things are not easy for me to do. they do not necessarily come easy to me, which is perhaps why i write about them so much. so, this blog, my pictures, the things i write, they are ways to help me stay focused in life. they are not to preach at you, dear readers.

and, by the way, my life is not perfect. i have had and do have many struggles. many things that try to pull me into the dark & entice me to give up hope. i’m just stubborn, though, i guess. i refuse to let the darkness win. i truly, deeply believe in love.

anyway, on a day that has been filled with sweet & sour moments, bitterness & joy, i want to share some tidbits of sweetness with you (typical me), seeing as that was the photoadayMay challenge for today (sunday). we all know that the sour stuff is there, but why should i focus on it? why should i let it win? it already causes me enough pain. what i need is to focus on the sweet things in life in order to get through all the sour. so, without further a due…

 on my morning walk to work, the suns rays were reaching down from heaven, filling me with hope & peace.

 afternoon fika at home with my love. i bought blueberries & strawberries. and i made some whipped cream/coolwhip stuff. that’s right, you heard me. i made it.

 bought a new camera!! thanks to my love’s great economy skills.

 held my cutie niece (lina’s sister’s daughter).

 had strawberry ice cream with chocolate mousse. tasted like summer.

 saw a gorgeous swedish field on the drive home this evening.

how has your sunday been? any sweet moments? sour ones? talk to me.

sending you hugs, love, & peace.

26: 12 o’clock.

an american classic for lunch at 12.00: a BLT (bacon, lettuce, & tomato). summer memories flooded my brain & my taste buds thanked me.

left the apartment just after 12 & discovered the circus is coming to town! in the square a few blocks from our apartment. course, i don’t think i’ll be going. but, it’s still cool to see. ya gotta love a big top.

kept on walking through beautiful norrköping on this spring saturday.

walking home on a warm, spring evening. i just thought the building & sky looked beautiful. and i’m having a little balcony envy too.

i’m ending the day at home like every other swede, or european for that matter, watching the eurovision song contest – a european american idol, except way bigger & definitely waaaay more interesting. each country sends a singer that won a contest in their home country. so, sweden had a song contest back in the winter to pick the singer who would compete tonight. you just gotta check out sweden’s chick… loreen. she is amazing! and all of europe is talking about her. go sweden!

listen to some good music tonight! peace out.

update: it’s now well after 12 o’clock am & sunday has arrived. i simply must get myself to bed. but, i had a little eurovision song contest update… loreen (the chick from sweden) won!! woo hoo! a proud moment for sweden!

 loreen singing “euphoria” right after she won tonight!

22: pink.

pink is most definitely not my favorite color. at all. but, these here little beauties make me think i might be able to find a little space in my heart and in my life for a little bit of girly pink. gorgeous little leaves!

one other little thing… i got some cool urbanears headphones in the mail today. i freaking love them.

peace out, my peeps.