The tone is set for my 2019. The vibes are clear. The energy is palpable. And it is this: Take it as it comes. Embody your soul. Trust your intuition. Do what what lights you up. And leave everything else behind.
I believe that the universe is going to keep throwing at me the same lessons over + over again until they sink in. Until I really learn how to embody them, not just believe them. What I mean is, the same shit keeps popping up in my life, year after year, month after month, week after week because it’s a process. Life is an ever unfolding journey of discovering who we are meant to be. And, just because I “got” something one morning during meditation or had a deep conversation with someone that clarified much of what I was thinking, doesn’t meant that I suddenly am fully living that thing that I “got” or understood.
I know to live in the present moment. I have known + felt + sought to live in the present moment for years now. With each passing one, I, admittedly, become better at it. But, something happens in January every damn year. Even though I believe that slow living has become my way of life + that I have soaked in my way of beginning a new year slowly + intentionally, I still find myself wanting to plan some great big amazing plan for the year ahead.
So, I have embodied a slow lifestyle. Yay Liz. Or have I?
January arrives and I keep it slow. I really do. I’ve stopped setting resolutions + even intentions. I understand that this is a month to just let it be. To ease my way into a new year. To let the vibes + feelings rise from within me. To trust my intuition to guide me. And to follow the pattern of nature. Up here, in the northern hemisphere it is still the middle of the dark, cold winter season. There is no need to hurry or rush or hustle.
I’m down with all that. Got it. Living it.
But, as for staying in the present moment… that’s something I need to work on. I realized yesterday, as I spent a very slow, cozy day at home, that it is simply habit for me to begin to look forward into the new year. To try to set up some super inspiring plan for blogging, writing, and creating themes for each month.
Yesterday I desperately tried to feel the energy + medicine for each upcoming month in 2019. But it wasn’t working. I felt nothing. Ok. That’s a lie. I did feel a few things. I was able to tap into a few deep, soul-filled ideas. But, for the most part, I just felt frustrated that I couldn’t “figure my year out”. And then I realized that I didn’t need to.
Why the hell was I trying to force this?!
I had a calendar in front of me. I made lists of the names of the months. I meditated on each month, trying to intuit a theme connected with each season. I even planned a big oracle card session for this morning, giving the power over to the universe to tell me what energy each month would carry. But, I never followed through with the card reading. And I don’t feel connected to the one I did back in November.
What I did feel was a desire to take it as it comes. To focus more on the present than the future. To not plan out the entire year, but to let the energy and medicine of the upcoming month rise out of my intuition when it wants to rise. To trust that I will know + feel. To take it month by month, even week by week. To create what I feel like creating in the inspired moment.
But, it was (and is, even as I write this) scary to let go of the idea of planning my year. However, if I am honest with myself, I have never followed through with my monthly planning – for the blog or for any other thing – that I’ve done in January. I’m not a planner. That’s just the cold, hard, beautiful truth. I thrive living in the moment + being spontaneous. So, why in the world have I tried to box my inspiration in by planning it out 12 months in advance? That ain’t me.
So, I’m done with that. I hear you, universe. I feel you, soul. I get it. The tone for 2019 is even slower + more present-focused than I realized. 2019 is truly the year for embodying the things that I know, the way of life that I desire to live. Wild. Sacred. Contemplative. Intuitive. Mystical. In. The. Moment.
So, out with the old. I release all of the expectations, plans, and pressures that I have on myself to figure all the shit out. If I feel it, I feel it. If I don’t, I don’t. I have nothing against plans. Hell, I just set a goal + made a plan with my sweet wife to redo our living room (which we both want to do right now!) in March, as a celebration of living in our home for 3 years. We planned that because I felt it. But, I don’t have to plan shit out. I just have to trust my intuition in this moment.
Alright then. This week help me set the tone for my 2019. And that is to trust my intuition to show me how to embody the beliefs that I have about my way of life. Phew. That was one tiny little sentence, but there is so much power + meaning behind it.
Basically, the life that I want to embody does not change. I know who I am + how I want to live. But, how my life looks, how I manifest it, depends on each present moment. It depends on me trusting my soul + listening to my intuition. And then embodying it all. Make sense?
How I embody the energy of January is slowly becoming clear to me. This is the perfect month for resetting. In the midst of the slow vibes of this season, I understand better that there is no need to burst onto the scene of 2019 with guns blazing. It’s much more effective to intentionally, slowly ease into the year. Quietly. Allowing for time to balance + adjust.
That’s the medicine for this month. That’s the energy I want to share with you. A quiet, slow, soft season of slowly getting used to a new month. Accepting that it is ok to not even know what we are feeling or what we want from this year. Trusting that where we are right now is absolutely enough. Just waiting. Spending time getting used to the light of our souls, and, daily, doing what lights up our souls.
Happy mid-January, lovelies. I hope that you are allowing yourself to feel whatever you feel so far this year. And are trusting your intuition to guide you. Try to keep it slow, dear ones. You don’t have to buy into all that hype about moving fast, setting massive amounts of goals to be a better you. You are enough just as you are. Right here. Right now. And your soul knows how to guide you forward. So, just trust this moment. Just trust this January to set the tone for your 2019.
P.S. I think I am bringing back my “The week that was…” series with this post. For a little documentation of my daily life through photos + words. Yay!