autumn

Ghost stories: Letting go of what haunts me

26 Oct 2020

Alright, here we go. Just a few days until halloween and I thought this would be the perfect time to talk about my love for ghost stories. There’s no better autumn activity than to turn out the lights, welcome in the dark, burn a bunch of candles, and settle into those spooky October night vibes. Around a campfire or a kitchen table. Telling old ghost stories + scary tales, or watching old, traditional haunting movies. But, even if I love a good mysterious + chilling evening, there are some things that just freak me out. Some things that are just too scary.

These ghosts that haunt me are not the spirits of people who have passed on, but rather the spirits of things that are heavy for my soul.

I read somewhere recently about the belief that the ghosts that haunt us the most are not the spirits of people who have died, but the spirits that darken our hearts + souls. And I must admit, that explanation of ghosts resonated deeply with me. Especially during this year of chaos and suffering. Of course, I’m not saying anything for or against the actual existence of the spirits of others’ souls. Instead, with this post, I simply want to focus more on the ghosts that are created when we experience pain, suffering, trauma, and disappointment. These are the ghosts that ache in our soul. The energies that have attached to us and gotten into the core of our being, changing us + leaving a little bit of darkness + draining a bit of our own power.

When I stop and think about it, I have many ghosts. The ghosts of my recent past + the ghosts of years ago. But, no matter how long they have been with me, I keep dragging them around. Like Ebenezer Scrooge, dragging the ghosts of the past + present with him through the night.

Since October is a spooky month focused on death + endings, what better time to face these ghosts than now? The season of Halloween is filled with magic, and the darkness of this season is just the mood needed to conjure up all of these ghosts and then banish them from my life – for good.

Halloween/Samhain (Sow-an), on the last day of October, is also the Celtic New Year and the third and final harvest of autumn. Since August, and through September, we have been gathering all that we have grown and learned throughout this year and preparing for the winter that lies ahead. So, it is time to say farewell to all that has been produced throughout the past year as we now turn toward the darkness of the night on Halloween. At the end of this coming week, we enter into the deep, mysterious season of the dark. There will be nothing to do but to rest, restore, and wait.

Though, as I think about the ghosts of this year + of my past, I feel that there actually is one more tiny thing that I can do before I retreat into the darkness of November + December. In the spirit of Halloween + with the thinning of the veil so that the spirit world is more accessible, it’s the perfect time for me to release a ghost or two that is still haunting me. Now, I’m afraid that it might not be as easy as it sounds, because it means that I need to face those ghosts – a frightening endeavor to be certain. And, yet, if I want to crossover the threshold of Samhain + enter into a new year, then I need to release all that I can so that I sink down into the darkest part of the year having cleared out all that I no longer need.

I want to begin a new year of growing feeling emptied, calm, and ready to soak in the wisdom + magic that is waiting to take root during the winter. So, to do that, I need to create some space + time to release the ghosts that haunt me.

Journal your year

And there’s one thing that I think will work. It’s actually the perfect way to close out this year as well. I plan to journal my year. Yes, this is something that is most often done at the end of a calendar year. You know, a look back on what has happened throughout the year. But, it really does feel right to do this right now actually and not in the end of December. It feels like this is the perfect time to let go of all that I have grown + learned + harvested since last autumn. And to let the ghosts of this year + of my past rise so that I can face them + tell them that it is now time for them to go. And , anyway, since 2020 is 2020, I may need to process + look back several times. So, I might as well begin now.

So, what are my ghosts? What are the things that haunt me? Well, they are deep beliefs, painful experiences, difficult memories, deep disappointments that keep me from living my truth. They keep me from evolving + feeling free. They are those scary moments that I’ve hidden in the recesses of my mind, too afraid to dig up for fear of feeling all of the feelings again. They are those old habits that hold me hostage + keep me stuck. And they are the haunting emotions that weigh heavy on my soul. Ghosts like the deep emotions of sadness of being separates from my family indefinitely. Or the ghost of a young me who found it hard to follow her own dreams.

Of course, I cannot draw up every ghost from the corners of my soul and release them all at once. This takes time. So, as I create space over the next week, I will allow the ghosts that are ready to leave, rise up on their own. I trust my intuition to show me what I need to release at the end of this year, on this Halloween night.

And, once I let a few of my ghosts go, they will simply become stories that I can share of the things that once haunted me. Remember, I love me some good ghost stories.

It’s time to release some of the things that are holding us back. To let them die. And then send them on their way, no longer to wander + haunt our souls. So, this Halloween season, dim the lights. Gather some candles. Grab a notebook. Breathe + meditate. And let a ghost or two of your past rise up. And then release them into the dark night.

Then, next weekend, we will be ready to retreat into the darkness – free from all that is no longer needed + ready for the mystical season of winter to bring us the wisdom + magic we need for the new year.

Happy ghostbusting! xoxo. lix

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