it’s already the 3rd of december. and somewhere inside of me i feel a bit of a panic. 2015 is almost over. the season of advent and my hibernation in my cave as i prepare for the new year is moving too quickly. for some reason, i find myself wondering if i am making this as meaningful of a season as i could? was i prepared for it? am i losing time? at the same time, i know that i must simply let my days unfold. but, i feel like i am missing out on something. i have no idea what that might be – and i most certainly am not missing out on anything. or am i? i think i am thinking too much. i am putting too much pressure on myself or on this season. which is exactly what i did not want to do. here i am trying to make this a mindful, intentional holiday, and i am making myself feel like there is something that i have to do. but, things do feel quite fast and busy right now. just when i want to slow down, life seems to speed the freak up.
so, on this cozy december morning i felt the desire to pause for just a moment and be present. to try to slow things down. to become aware of what is going on around + inside me.
an instagram friend of mine (@lilbitspieces) is doing a december daily challenge and posted a photo of a list of things that she was currently doing. so, i thought i’d turn her list into a blog post for a little thursday fun, share with you what’s going on with me, and take stock on how this day is shaping up.
so, here is what i am up to today:
reading // inner river by kyriacos c. mark ides. it’s deep book that explores our desire to connect with something transcendent and spiritual through the mystical traditions found in christianity.
planning // series and posts for the blog as we transition into the new year. so much fun.
watching // sweet little zola napping in her new favorite spot on the back of the sofa. we should all be so relaxed and zen as her. can i get an amen?!
trying // to figure out what i am going to wear today to two separate, but awesome events/happenings.
cooking // dinner for my love. pasta and veggies.
eating // a peanut butter sandwich and left over pumpkin pie.
drinking // coffee. all day long. (as usual!).
thinking // about a very important meeting i have this afternoon.
pinning // tons of winter stuff on my winter board. i’m just so freaking inspired.
crafting // ummm… nothing. i am so not crafty, y’all. and i don’t really want to be, but i totally admire all of you who are.
loving // our christmas decorations this year (a longer post is coming soon!).
dreaming // of a white christmas. you’d think that it was a given since i live in sweden, but the temperature has been unseasonably warm. it’s crazy.
feeling // a mix of feelings regarding the holiday season. on the one hand, it feels cozy and good and just how i want it to feel. on the other hand, it feels different and strange. i really think that i have a completely difference attitude regarding the holidays this year. and, that’s a good thing. but, it is making the everyday experience of it very different. i feel like it is a special time, and not all at the same time. and, ultimately, i think that is good. that my the sacred is seeping into my everyday existence, instead of just waiting and expiring the amazingness of high, holy, special days. in other words, i feel like i am beginning to settle into living a much more intentional, balanced, extraordinary life every single day. and, even though its settling, it’s unsettling. and, as i said before, it’s all going so fast. lord, what a ramble that was!
listening // to O Come, O Come Emmanuel by Bella and Sebastien. It’s pure, ethereal magic.
celebrating // tonight with my fellow photo boutique employees and boss at our christmas party dinner. champagne. asian food. and amazing people. woo hoo!
improving // my life coaching skills during my 3rd training weekend starting tomorrow + i am so looking forward to getting back out into nature. this city girl needs her country fix.
so, friends, clearly i am all over the place right now. just keepin’ it real, folks. what are you up to today? copy this list + give us a little share, ok? please let me know that i am not the only one feeling whatever the hell it is i am feeling, which is, of course, everything. hehe. wishing you (and me!) a beautiful and balanced day.
It definitely sounds like you’re incorporating all the things and activities of the holiday into your daily life (or, as you eloquently put it, “the sacred is seeping into my daily existence”) and so maybe the difference is that you are living so in the moment that rather than the holidays being an external impact on you/affecting you- YOU are living and acting out your own holiday season in the way meaningful to you rather than depending on certain traditions or things to spark that feeling in you. Maybe that rush of joy, thrill of excitement may just seem tempered by your deeper sense of self that you’ve been cultivating through your meditation and other practices… I can’t pretend to know, but I say, bask in the feeling and don’t worry about missing anything! Soak up all your moments even though you’re so busy right now! Whatever you do, have a wonderful weekend and enjoy your coaching seminar and the lovely Swedish countryside! xoxo
p.s. Don’t tell any of my other friends with cats, but your Zola looks like just the sweetest little love muffin on the planet
Oh my goodness, Meghan! You just may be so right! I absolutely may be creating the season exactly the way that I wish it to be, and it is unfamiliar, and even though it is how I envision it, somewhat unsettling since it is new. And, yes, it is a deeper level of experiencing it and myself. So, my dear, I will most definitely soak up the present moment, and not simply live in it. That’s a whole other level, isn’t it?! Wow. Thank you so much for your insight. For reading so purposefully what I write and responding so deeply with your heart. Much love and appreciation for you and who you are. xoxo Happy Weekend to you! Enjoy the family time (I think you said that you would see some again). 🙂
I’m not sure if other places in the world put as much pressure on holidays as Americans do, but it seems to me most of us absorb some kind of magical notion of how holidays are supposed to be and I suspect the pressure of that explains a lot of the crankiness during the holidays. I think it’s great that you have enough consciousness about it to decide to try NOT to put the pressure on. But I’d say be easy on yourself…. deciding not to feel the pressure and actually not feeling the pressure is a process. I think you’re doing GREAT!
Your mention of Markides reminded me how much I adored his “Magus of Strovolos” long ago (and a second one I can’t recall the name of) and led me to look him up and realize he’s written lots more that I haven’t read. Got some work to do.
I’m with you on the crafting! My idea of a great crafting evening is me sitting and sipping coffee while chatting with someone else who’s crafting something 🙂
I experience the same societal pressure here in Sweden as in the States. All of the traditions, shopping, and “must dos”. It’s enough to drive one crazy. And, my intention and practice to not participate in that in the same way this year, has left me feeling strange. Different. Good, but at odds with society and what everyone else is doing. Not that I want to engage in all of the frenzy, but it makes the experience of the season very different. Even just talking with people, you know what I mean?
Thank you for encouraging me to stay on track and to push onwards. It is a process, and I do have to let it be and feel what I feel. And trust the process. Thank you so much, Leigh. Your comment wars my heart so much!
I am so into the book, even if I don’t agree with everything I read. But, it is enlightening and touching some deep thoughts that remind me of my seminary days.
We sure would be a fun crafting pari, wouldn’t we?! 😉
The pressure you feel of making sure this last month of the year is special is exactly why I sort of dislike the Christmas season. Way too many expectations surround it, and it creates this stressful, extremely busy time just when you want to slow down. To avoid that, I have cut down a lot of the things I used to do (gift exchange with friends, Christmas cards, going overboard with presents for family), and it helped a lot.
Try not to stress yourself out! Lowering your expectations of yourself might help. Just go with the flow, and don’t beat yourself up when things don’t go as planned.
In my experience, January is always a great month for slow living, because all the frenzy is over!
Maybe you have to rearrange cave living for later.
Big hug!
Thank you, sweet amazing Miriam for your hugs, support, and ideas! Yes, exactly what you said. That is why I am seeking to experience the holiday season differently this year. I am tired of all of the expectations and forgetting the be in the moment and live in simplicity. I realize that my stress and frenzied feelings are all part of the process and I will continue to breathe my way through those moments. It’s all part of the journey, isn’t it? Thank you for your reminders to keep slowing down. I will live in my little cave (or not!) as each day comes. Besides, today is all we have, right?! 🙂
So much love and peace to you, dear friend. xoxo
ANother awesome list. I love the photo of your kitty, she really looks so snuggy. I also like your couch and elephant pillow.
I am so happy that you love my lists! And, yes, my little Zola is a cutie. She’s a little mess. Thanks for the interior design compliments too! 🙂