I’ve been spending the past couple of days trying to call in all of the calm + gentle energy I can because it’s been anything but that. It’s been wild. Just as the US president said it would be. I don’t really know how to write right now. And it feels like absolutely anything I say is utterly pointless. There’s no need to create yet another list or litany of all of the things that have happened in the United States since Tuesday. And I’m not really quite ready to offer some words of hope or inspiration.
So, I’m simply sitting + calling in energy. Energy that creates peace. That is soft, mild, humble. Energy that opens my heart + soul + mind to the mystical way of reacting + responding. A way that is grounded in trust. Deep trust in the mystery of grace, the unfolding of life, and the audacity of hope. I suppose it’s a foolish way of being, according to most. To look for the cracks of light, to believe in the arc of justice, to find any sort of meaning in the despicable, disgusting, deplorable domestic terrorism that happened on Wednesday.
It is enough to push us all over the edge. To cause us to just cave, give up hope, turn completely cynical, retreat to our own lives, put our heads in the sand.
Oh, I am so tempted to just turn away and dream all day of finding a cabin deep in the woods or an island far, far away and just leaving all this shit behind.
That is my first reaction. My first thought. My second + third thought as well… because this, all of it, everything, seems too hard. And, I don’t just see the terrorism on Wednesday. I see the raging pandemic. The continued lack of education + social inequalities. The homelessness + joblessness. Mental illness in young people. And, then, my own “problems”: not seeing my family in over a year, Lina feeling sick, following Covid restrictions while others just blatantly do what they want.
And, yet, I know that I am a mystic. A contemplative. Even though the suffering in great, I cannot help but let hope continue to rise from my soul. I see, I know, I trust in the goodness of this world + all of us living here. I am certain that love conquers hate, that light overcomes darkness, that winter turns to spring, that peace wins.
The energy that flows in and around us all is calm + gentle. It is universal. It is divine, sacred, cosmic energy that creates.
And that’s the energy I want to channel – all day, every day. Of course, I’m human… and I often want to give up or turn away. But, more than that, I want to be an instrument of calm + gentle energy. I want my life to radiate calm + gentle energy. I want to create calm + gentle energy wherever I am.
But, often in the dark, in the winter season, in the midst of frightening moments, events, and experiences it’s so much easier and safer to respond + react out of fear. To ignore, get defensive, strike back, leave, give up,
I have been glued to the news for the past 2 days. And, I absolutely think that it is important to keep myself informed. I just could not look away from the election in Georgia or the counting of the votes in Congress or the domestic terrorist attack on the Capitol building, threatening democracy + showing us just how deep our divides really are + how far we are from being the people (Americans + all nations) we are meant to be.
That divide, though, somehow inspires me. Is that weird? You see, if we, if I, am so far from reaching our/my potential, then that inspires me. All is not lost. It’s completely the opposite. All is to be gained. There is so much to learn, ways to evolve, love to learn to share.
And, while these past 2 days have somewhat paralyzed me from following through on my daily evening posts, I needed to just be present with all that was going on + all that I was thinking about in connection with all that is going on – both in the world + in my own home/life. All of the darkness has shone a light on all that is possible – how we need to face our struggles, our divisions, our personal + collective pain.
One thing that has become completely obvious to me is that, as I mentioned a few days ago, I need discipline. I crave discipline. A practice that is not only the foundation of my life, but also of my day. I need routine to ground me. To keep me centered + connected to those mystical ways that teach me to see the bigger picture, to trust in the unfolding of it all, and to live with the calm + gentle energy that points me always toward hope.
So, while there is much work to be done in this new year – both around the world, in my family, and in my own soul, the first bit of work is to stay calm + be gentle. Trust in the arc of justice and the presence of hope. Be gentle with yourself + with others. Look to nature + the seasons to show you the way. Slow, intentional, there is something to learned in every phase, all along the way.
Right now, it’s dark and the way ahead feels tough. Is there even a way out I sometimes wonder? But, then, I remember the deepest, universal truths. I return to the present moment. I breathe in . I breathe out. And I call in all of the calm gentle energy I can.
May calm + gentle energy surround us all during these most difficult days. xoxo, liz.