mercury retrograde is over: what the hell just happened?!

in no way am i an astrologer, nor do i want to be. but, i do appreciate and look to the skies for inspiration. i see such a beautiful connection between nature, the universe, and our experiences in life. so, with that said, i enjoy reading about what’s happening “out there” and seeing how it relates to what’s happening down here, and more specifically, in my life.

and i believe that it is all connected, that things all relate to and affect and inspire each other.

the energy that pulses through you and me is the same energy that lights up the night sky and is sent to us through the warm suns rays. it is the same energy that is hidden in the ground during the winter as the flowers and trees slumber, waiting for spring to arrive. it is the same energy that mystically connects us to each other, giving us that feeling of deep connection to another human being. we are the sun, the stars, the moon, each other. we are body + spirit. we are one.

“we are star stuff which has taken its destiny into its own hands.”
― Carl SaganCosmos


with that belief/worldview of a divine, cosmic connection, it is interesting to me how nature affects and inspires us, so i follow and read different reports, mostly moon phases (as i feel so inspired by the moon), and i let those connections throughout the universe empower me on my journey in life.

and lately, three’s been a lot of stuff happening up there in the stars.

recently we have been in a phase called mercury retrograde. honestly, i don’t know much about that, but i do know that it means that the planet mercury is the closest to the earth than is ever gets. and it appears to suddenly be moving backwards in the sky, seemingly from the west to the east instead of from the east to the west. of course, the planet does not change direction or slow down, but its relation to earth and how we see it from our sky makes an optical illusion.

in roman mythology + throughout history, mercury is known as the messenger god. quickly couriering messages and information between the gods + goddesses. i discovered that the planet mercury probably received its name because it moves so quickly across the sky – like a messenger.

now, since mercury has much to do with getting information out and communication, it is said that when the planet mercury goes into retrograde (looks like it’s going backwards), then messages, communication, travel, information all get screwed up. that the influence of the “backwards” motion and slowing down of the planet tend to affect us here on earth.

whether that is actually true or not, i could not care less.

what i do care about, is that it signals a time of slowing down. of reflection. of perhaps crossed-wires and miscommunication. a time of confusion. a time out, where old things/issues/fears/problems/worries/habits seem to resurface, letting us hash out, once again, those things we are trying to move past.


photo sent to me by my sweet instagram friends @bokmalet.

and, it’s not easy. it feels a little bit like everything that can go wrong does.

it’s often a bit painful, feeling like you’re stuck and going nowhere, unable to move forward, exhausted and distraught by the opening up of old wounds + fears + difficulties. basically it feels like the wires are all crossed, that all communication and understanding is on the blink. yeah… mercury is moving backwards, not delivering his messages and keeping people plugged in and on track.

and while there are many bad things associated with mercury’s retrograde, i think there are a few amazing things to consider also.

when mercury is in retrograde, we have a chance to remember. we may remember our dreams, or remember a dark, difficult phase in our life. and in our remembering, we can review it all and reset ourselves back on the path to move forward. it is the perfect time for our soul to ponder its destiny. a retrograde can be a time of communicating with your self, to remember your own personal story and where you’re headed.

as of today, we are coming out of a three week mercury retrograde period.

it began on may 18 and ended on thursday, june 11. but, today, the 13th of june, the planet begins its march forward again. (on the 11th it stopped “moving” backwards. on the 12th it was stationary. and today, the 13th, it is released + begins its journey forward again).


at the beginning of the retrograde, people were writing all about how life would most likely look way different to each of us at the end of the retrograde. as the days went by, i thought about that, and saw no changes. noticed no mixed -up messages. felt basically nothing happening.

in fact, instead of slowing down, life was speeding up for me. during the retrograde weeks, we had three different visitors, a wedding, lots of time with friends + family, my love’s birthday, and a whole bunch of stress. like. a. lot.

it was only this week, as i began to settle into “regular” life again, that i was able to see that mercury’s retrograde had, indeed, affected me + my little family. there were definite moments of scary, dark memories that returned. old ways of living, that my love and i don’t want to resurface, but that wanted to rear their ugly head.  there was no time to just be. my meditation was stuck and non-existent, thus closing off my own communication with my soul. i had no contact with my parents (who i usually text with every single day), as they were experiencing some travel woes in canada.

and i felt as lost as ever in trying to find a job, or what i am supposed to “do”. like a person in space, dangling in zero gravity at the end of their rope attached to the space station. flailing about. but, flailing slowly about. opportunities keep arising, but nothing, i mean nothing, seems to be leading to anything else. i realized that i have been grasping at straws, and continue to do that, only to not know what i should really be grasping for..

yet, i felt calm and at peace inside, even thought everything was spinning around outside of me. some good, some bad. some inspiring, some disheartening.


and suddenly, on thursday, as the retrograde ended, i found myself thinking: what the hell just happened?!

what the hell happened i still don’t really know. and i don’t think i should. i realized that i had just been caught up in a whirlwind of a few weeks, with a bunch of great time + and bunch of stressful times, and everything in between. that the retrograde had possibly, actually been affecting me. my confusion was (is) apparent. but, now is the time to sit with all of those crazy mixed-up messages and see what they mean. now is the time to reflect.

this is the shadow period. a week after the retrograde, as the planet slowly emerges back into our night sky.

you see, after a period of confusion like this, we can’t just “know” everything. that’s how it is with life, isn’t it? we need perspective. we need to sit + ponder a bit. we can’t just eat a big lunch and then go swimming. well, we can, but we’ll pay for it with lots of stomach cramps. it’s like a tornado just hit, and we are left with the aftermath. the process of cleaning up and assessing the damage, of even begin able to wrap our heads around what has happened, takes a long time. and it should.

it’s ok to slow down now. we need to slow down now. these past 3 weeks have taken me, shaken me up, confused me, scared me, enlightened me, inspired me, and frustrated me. i need to let the dust settle some. i need some patience to let things unfold. i need to let peace and calm reign in my life, so that i can get a little perspective. i need to just breathe. adjust. get grounded.

even the planet mercury takes a day after stopping it’s backwards movement to just be stationary before moving forward again.

this is the time to face ourselves.  it is a time of reckoning. we can either choose to run and hide as we have done many times before, or stand firm on solid ground, face up to our truths, learn the lessons that we need to learn, and seek to align our lives even more with our true authentic selves.

this is the shadow period. it’s time to rest. relax. recuperate. and look at ourselves. this is the time to go deeper. the window that is available during this time has the power to set us free. all will unfold in time. all will be well. for now, let’s just breathe.

onwards + upwards!

4 thoughts on “mercury retrograde is over: what the hell just happened?!

  1. It’s nice to read something about this from others and see that one is not alone in the time of confusion and simply being “over it”. Aside from the Mercury Retrograde, lots of changes have been happening since April, too – if not in your life then perhaps in the life of others around you. Many people are seeking a new job field or quitting their old jobs because they are feeling a calling towards other aspects of life.
    In combination with this retrograde, it’s been quite a turmoil from this spring on. 🙂

    1. You are definitely not alone. And, right now, I will keep you a little extra in my thoughts. Changes are so very tough, the confusion is suffocating at times, but I feel that you are someone who is really tapping into her intuition and soul right now. Stay with it, Laura! Keep fighting for that life that you truly feel called to – I’ll be doing the same! xoxo

    1. Why, thank you so very much! That means the world to me. Happy moving forward, lovely. 🙂

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