Here we go, holiday lovelies. Welcome to our December soul family. I am suggesting that we are a family, a tribe, because throughout the month we will be gathering here, in this space, together. To read. To reflect. To plan ahead. Now, we may not interact with each other all that much, we may not even know that each other exist in this space, but it is my hope that we feel the energy of our souls. That we connect with each other simply through our presence in committing to 12 days of pondering the same things. I am thinking of this series as a chance to begin to build our soul family, something that I hope will grow + evolve throughout the year ahead. Of course, I’d love for us to connect in comments or even with a Facebook group one month down the road. But, for now, we begin here. In the silence + stillness of the season. Alone with these words + our thoughts. But, supported by each others’ presence.
And now, it’s finally time for our first card + our first post for the Midwinter Rituals series… my own version of an Advent/Christmas calendar. I am calling it a Yule calendar, and just in case you missed my introduction post (here), then I’m just gonna sum it all up like this:
I’m sharing 12 posts on 12 different oracle cards throughout December. My intention is to provide a little inspiration for the midwinter season through reflective posts on how to bring the mysterious, unknown, hidden secrets of the dark into the light. I hope that, as we move through this season of dark + transition toward the light, that we discover new ways to embody our soul’s deepest, darkest longings.
And we are starting right here. With the soul family card. A card that tells us to call in our tribe. To gather our support persons around us. To spend time with people who “get” us. And to remember that we do not have to do life alone.
Now, to be honest, when I turned this card over I had mixed feelings. I had two thoughts at exactly the same time. One, that this is the perfect card to begin with, as this is the season of gathering. Two, and this is hard to admit, this card makes me feel lonely.
Ok. Let me unpack this. Shall I start with the positive feeling?
It’s kind of obvious, isn’t it. And I’ve already touched on it above. This is our own little December soul family. I felt that as soon as I saw this card. This series has the potential to be the beginning of something beautiful, of something I have wished for so many years… a way to create a real tribe (yes, authentic tribes + kindred souls can meet + be created online, I believe) for this website. A way for me to offer a space of inspiration + community to others. Where I don’t just put stuff out there for you to consume (albeit that is a fine beginning + an honor to inspire others), but a space where we interact with each other, where we become support + inspiration for each other. A safe space, an inspiring space, an online soul community.
This card gave me hope + a push to keep believing in + working toward making that a reality. And the Midwinter Rituals series just may be the beginning to it all…
Now, onto the negative, lonely feelings I had when I turned the card over.
I haven’t found my tribe. I don’t have that many people that I meet with that just “get me”. No mentors or coaches in my physical space, a very few (but super special!) kindred spirits around me, and quite a few that live far away from me. Such is, perhaps, the life of an expat.
Honestly, I don’t feel like I have found many people that I connect with in Sweden in the same way that I connect with in, let’s be honest, Asheville (North Carolina), where I am from. Sometimes I feel so very American here in Sweden. My free-spirited, individualistic, spontaneous, rebellious, funky, spiritual soul is not a common combination in Sweden – at least that I know of. And that’s my truth. I feel a little out of place in society, although I have adapted + live peacefully right in the middle of it all. It’s hard to explain.
I am grounded, I know who I am, I love my way of living, and if that makes me a bit different that “everyone else”, then I am tooootally fine with that. These are things I’ve worked on and evolved into throughout the years. And now that I am so secure, sure, and stable in my soul, the only thing missing are similar souls. Or a sense of a connected soul family.
Of course this doesn’t mean that there isn’t a local, Swedish, international soul family out there just waiting for me. This is more my problem than Sweden’s problem. I’m no victim. What it means, if I am brutally honest with myself, is that I haven’t put myself out there as much as I “should”. Part of that is that I needed to complete my own process of deeply knowing who I am + how I want to live my life. And I have my beautiful life in Sweden to thank for helping me find the roots of my soul. The other part is that I don’t know where to begin to find kindred spirits. The only ones I seem to connect with are other international expats who now call Sweden home.
However, that shouldn’t + won’t stop me. This card is showing me that it’s high time I work on my tribe. That, if I can’t find one, I create one. Online + in real life. I need and crave both. And this card calls me to stop dimming my own light to the world + to let myself truly be seen.
In order to embody my light, in order to work with it + live it, I must admit all of these things. I must sit with these truths so that I know exactly where I am right now + how I can begin to make a change.
So, it’s time to kick my ass into gear and begin to think about how to call forth my tribe. Which, perhaps, I am doing right now, with this series. It is time to ask the universe to place me in the right places + to send me the right people. To just send all of my intentions + wishes out there to the cosmos. And to trust that everything I desire is already happening.
Questions for you to ponder:
Who is in your soul family? Who is part of your tribe? Where do you find your spiritual/life support?
Are you dimming your light to the world? How can you let yourself truly be seen?
What kind of support do you need right now?
See you on Tuesday for the next post! Until then… thank you for being part of my soul family today. xoxo. liz.
This post really spoke to me especially what you called the “negative.” I don’t think those are necessarily negative things that you’re feeling which seems odd coming from me because if I was saying or thinking them, I would call them negative. It was interesting to see you reflecting so much of what I feel on a daily basis and yet, not thinking of it as negative. I think you were just being real and authentic. I’ve been going through a major depressive episode for months and it just intensified as time went on. I have the best professional help I could ask for so it wasn’t a lack of that causing this.I think there were some very physical issues causing it and I might not be clear from it yet but I’ve had two good feeling days after having a night where I was literally scared for my own safety. I was going to email you about all this, but I couldn’t find your email address. I recently got a new computer so maybe I lost email addresses in that process. Anyway, where I was slowly headed with all this was to tell you that I feel lonely all the time and I know I’ve not put myself out there. Sometimes I’ve just not been able to because of my health and you know I suffer social anxiety. I was feeling really trapped in my lifestyle while I was so depressed and feeling like I don’t know where or how to find my tribe either. I’m the kind of person that just needs a couple of good local friends to hand out with. I’ve never had a big tribe or craved one. I have two of the best friends I could ask for online but they live out of state.
I recognized a lot of what you shared in how you feel except the expat part. I don’t know why it surprised me to hear you explain how you felt about your differences with those of Swedish natives. I would love to hear more about this sometime if it doesn’t bring you down. I know sometimes discussing things can help and sometimes they can just make me focus in more on them. Then I’ll feel worse. I know we don’t live close now, but please feel free to consider me as part of your soul tribe. I’m not sure if you can see my email from your side, but feel free to email me also, if you like. Take care! xo
Hello, dear Tracy. Thank you for such a thoughtful, personal, beautiful response. ❤️ I will send you an email in the next few days. Thank you so very much for being part of my soul family. xoxo