We’re just two days from the autumn equinox (or spring for you southern hemisphere lovelies) and two-ish days away from the last new moon. That means that there is a bunch of new energy coming in + swirling around. And it’s presenting us a super important choice in the midst of this pandemic-affected, chaotic-filled year: how will we choose to spend this last season of the year? Will we fight + suffer + kick + scream + fall down in deep despair because we’re just too damn exhausted to go on and are ready to give up? Tempting, right? Or will we surrender to the energies of darkness, release, and deep magic… and allow ourselves to let go like the leaves, fall down deep into our souls + sink deep into the earth, in order to harvest our own mystical wisdom to be used to help bring ourselves + this whole world out of the insanity of 2020 and into a whole new way of living? What will it be, y’all? Suffer or surrender?
Are we ready to let go, find ourselves all alone in the dark woods, embark on a quest of self discovery, feel all of the feels, face our fears, accept that we feel stuck and still remain committed to hope? Can we trust the cycles of nature, find the courage to be present in the moment – even when it feels like hell, and refuse to give up?
Let me be honest, y’all. I feel like life has been kicking my ass lately. Since the beginning of August. It’s been fucking tough. Even tougher than the previous months. I suppose it’s because I’m exhausted + it’s just been all building up. And I went back to work, which honestly, feels not so great right now – I rather enjoyed working from home. And I just need to name that that’s how it’s been. I need to admit that it is so easy to succumb to suffering when we’re, well, suffering. It’s normal to feel stuck + just feel like giving up.
But, it’s more than just feeling stuck. Something’s in the air. It’s heavy + tough + exhausting. It’s got me wondering what’s really important to me. How I want to live. What I want my days to look like. Who I want to be with. Why I do the things I do. Where I want my life to go. How I am being true to my soul.
I’ve been thinking + feeling these things deeply during the last, chaotic, stressful moon cycle. But it turns out, I’m not alone. This past week I had conversations with 5 different people about all of these things. So, yes, something’s in the air. Something’s happening. And it just so happens that it’s all coming to a head right now. I can feel the energy pulsing. I can feel the deep yearning for real, truthful, empowering, desperate change.
Perhaps we’ve all been thrust into chaos in order to tear up all of the old shit, habits, beliefs, systems, ways of living… so that we can find a higher, deeper, truer, simpler, new way of living. And that’s tough shit. What we’ve been going through for the past 9 months is insane. It’s no wonder we’re exhausted, stressed, feeling stuck, and questioning everything about life. The tension is there. Many of us are feeling it.
The question is… are we just gonna suffer through it, or are we gonna surrender to it?
Just a few days ago, we had a new moon. It’s drawing us into the darker half of the year. Come Tuesday, we will cross over into the 6 months where darkness takes over light. It’s not a frightening time, it’s a time to turn inward. To face all of the tension + off-ness we feel. To decide whether we want to just suffer through this time, or whether we can surrender to the calling to look deeply into our souls + discover how we truly want to live.
2020 has torn the old way all up. The dark seasons of the year are here to help us begin to sift through the rubble, find our wisdom, and begin to build + create something new for our lives + the world.
At some point this week during a morning meditation, I started to realize that I needed to release. I couldn’t sit in the suffering anymore – I was drowning in the negativity + feelings of being stuck + helpless. I felt constant exhaustion, irritation, stress, and boredom. I had to choose to let go + surrender. So I just released it all. My worry + anxiety. I released my jaw + shoulders over and over again. I released the need to fix, solve, create, plan, control, change. I released the frustration, irritation, and fear I constantly felt.
And I surrendered to the present moment. Over and over again. Release + surrender is not a one time thing, just so you know, It’s a mindset, a conscious choice to be made one moment after another. Honestly, looking to the trees is exactly the reminder I need throughout the day. A leaf falls and blows in the wind, on its way down to the ground. And, I remember, with every leaf I see, to surrender. To let go. Trust.
But, it’s up to each of us to decide if we just sit in the rubble + remain stuck in old ways that don’t work anymore, or if we gather together, dream new dreams, use our own individual gifts + voices, and build a whole new way of living. With the death of the women’s rights champion and hero Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg on Friday, the choice, for me, is even clearer.
No matter if we are American or not, politics or not, to honor her legacy + the legacy of all of the dreamers + fighters + spiritual masters of all of the ages, we are being called now to decide what we will do, how we want to live, and if we are willing to surrender to the cycle of nature + release all that has been so that, in due time, something new can be born. Or, will we simply succumb to the suffering?
No need to answer now, though. This is the season for taking it slow. We have time. This is a long process of listening, feeling, and intuiting. It’s a long, dark, tough journey. But, should we choose to follow the rhythm of nature, then the new moon last week sets us on a new course + the shifting of the seasons calls us to take the time right now to decide how we want our life to be.
Breathe deep + release everything. You are not alone. xoxo liz