There’s something magical about February energy. But, it’s also a little confusing. I’m not really sure how to define or describe last week. It was just a regular ole week. And, yet, it totally wasn’t. It started off very slowly, moved into a bit of unexpected busy-ness, and then ended even slower than it began. I felt a rush of inspiration + hope. But I also felt totally drained + uninspired. I moved from an almost bored exhaustion, to a few soul-filling days, and then closed the week out with a deep sense of slow, calming energy.
A slow beginning felt like nothing was happening
At the beginning of the week, it felt like I was in total sync with the energy of February. Without even realizing it, as the days of this month pass, they become so much longer + brighter. It’s a slow process that is really only possible to see as I look back. And, then it feels so sudden. My own response is often, “How did that happen? How is it that the sun is rising before 7:30 when a few days ago it was rising after 8?” Even as I am aware of this magical time of the earth’s changing rhythms from day to day as we move from winter to spring, I am still so surprised and shocked at just how much changes in just a few days. It’s like being aware + surprised all the same time.
This week has been exactly like that for me. I felt like I was doing nothing in the beginning of the week. I was tired, drained, and uninspired. So, I think I literally was doing nothing really. But, as I look back now, I understand that so much was happening within me internally. I was settling into this new chapter. Slowly crossing into and opening up to the new phase that is quietly unfolding day by day. Being slow + present was all I could manage to do as the week got under way- but that is all that I was meant to do. Turns out, just like this season, most of the work was happening underground, in silence, and in the hidden spaces of my soul.
Things really picked up in the middle of the week
And then, the middle of the week came. I still didn’t really grasp what was going on with all of that February energy. It just seemed to suddenly get a whole lot busier.
First of all, last Wednesday Sweden officially opened up. No more restrictions or recommendations. No more masks or even testing. No more social distancing or quarantining, just staying home if you’re sick like any other sickness. I have all of the feels when it comes to this. So many conflicting thoughts. I mean, the pandemic isn’t over. Covid-19 isn’t magically gone from Sweden. It’s just being treated as a much less dangerous sickness – at least for the vaccinated.
With the opening up of Sweden, there was a shift in the energy and vibe in the air here. The sun was shining, the wind still blowing in newness + change, and a sense of hope that living life out + about was a bit closer now. At the same time, I really dug deep into the memories, lessons, and things I felt + learned during these past 2 years. In no way do I want to go back to how it was before. I want to get back out there, travel, explore, attend cultural events, and feel the inspiration of the buzz of life; but, I do not want to return to a hurried, work-focused, socially-stressful way of life. I know what I want, how I want to live, the kinds of people, places, and memories that mean the most to me. So, I’m carrying all of my own pandemic lessons with me as I begin to find my way back into a open society.
And then, things really got moving. Lina + I found ourselves suddenly on a spontaneous 24-hour trip up to our old hometown, Uppsala. We booked a hotel, hopped in the car one afternoon, and arrived just in time for sunset. After checking in, we went to eat at our favorite burger place (since we don’t have it here in Norrköping) and then we surprised my dear soul sister. We dropped by her home for a few hours of catching up and hugging necks. Then, we went back to our hotel + fell into a deep sleep. The next morning we woke to a frigid, gorgeous sunrise, had breakfast, did our errands, and visited our new favorite coffee shop in town before heading back home.
It was a whirlwind trip, but I also understood in the moment that it was a magical way to usher in this new chapter.
And then, the week ended even slower than it began
We were home Friday afternoon, just in time for the weekend. We put the brakes on all of the activity and decided to just stay in all weekend. We grabbed a delicious lunch at a new place called Holy Greens and then spent the rest of the weekend relaxing, drinking tons of coffee, reading, napping, cleaning a little. We did make our way downtown Sunday afternoon to buy some fresh flowers for the week. I fell in love with the flower shop we went to and basically have decided that I want everything in there. So, now I have long wish list. Hehe. And, then, we grabbed the best sushi we’ve ever, ever, ever had on our way home. Y’all, it was incredible.
And that was the week. A week of balancing that February energy that moves us from winter to spring. Now that I think about it, it makes complete sense that it was a week of feeling both the slow, restful energy of winter and the awakening inspiration of the coming spring. For a few weeks (if not months), that is where I know that I will find myself. In transition, in the midst of change, opening up my life to new experiences, memories, opportunities, and possibilities. Many of which I have no idea yet.
Nevertheless, right now, I am following Mother Nature and slowly allowing myself to awaken. To stir + stretch. To trust my roots to hold me grounded + anchored to my stable center + source. Change is messy, long-term, and slow. But, it is a beautiful unfolding and an experience of evolving that is only understood when looking back.
So, like the energy of February, I open myself up to letting more light, warmth, and hope in one day at a time. Knowing that as the days, weeks, months, and years pass… an incredible journey of becoming is underway.
Happy Valentine’s Day, loves. Take a moment to reflect on your own journey + give a little love to all that you are and all that you are becoming. xoxo. liz.