I seem to be losing all of my routines, y’all. And, I’m ok with it. I mean, I’m just rolling with it. These are crazy times. So it’s no surprise that, after everything that has happened, things are getting shifted around. Right? It’s all just so weird + bizarre. Everything, you know. But this different way of living continues on; it’s making me lose all of my routines, and yet I seem to be finding my groove in the middle of it all anyway. And that is changing everything.
I wonder if it has anything to do with learning more about what is really important to me. I’ve always had a sense of what’s important; and that, in itself has not changed. But, in the midst of this whole new way of living, it feels as if life is being stripped down more + more… leaving me with an opportunity to see what I really need + want in life.
Living life with my home as truly the center of my life is revealing so much to me. The simplicity + mundaneness of life these days, without all of the external influence and social obligations/responsibilities have given me unexpected space to say “fuck it” to all of the unspoken rules, norms, expectations and routines of the past. How I want to spend my time + who I want to spend it with becomes more clear with each passing week at home. The few things that I miss are helping me to redefine my priorities. And it seems that all of this reorganizing + reprioritizing has just been creeping up on me. I also seem to think that all of these thoughts of mine, all of this shifting + emerging of my beliefs and priorities into my everyday life is just beginning. I am just feeling the tip of the iceberg.
I am beginning to understand the beliefs that I have about life in a whole new way. Things that I thought I needed, I don’t. Things that I hadn’t given much thought to before, seem to be rising up from my soul. I am getting to know myself better. It feels like sinking into my soul, finding my footing, feeling good in my skin, and rising higher than I imagined all at once. It feels stable, grounded, anchored and oh so good.
So, what are all of these things I’m talking about? Well, it’s all kinds of things. Deep + shallow. Petty + important. Things like:
- Could it be that I don’t really need all of those routines I’ve been so attached to for years?
- How I look is even less important now than ever. I’m not wearing makeup. And my self care routine means washing my face + brushing my hair.
- I only wear clothes that make me feel good.
- Morning routines are important to me.
- But, it is possible for me to stay up later than I realized.
- I need to be outside every single day – even if it is to just walk around my backyard.
- Photography becomes more important every single day as a spiritual, grounding practice.
- Candles are meant to be used year-round. Even when it doesn’t get dark out.
- Ordering take out really should happen at least once a week.
- I love washing dishes. It’s meditative and instant gratification.
- Hydrate. Hydrate. Hydrate.
- I hate breakfast – and breakfast foods. Unless it’s brunch. I miss eating brunch out.
- My backyard feels more magical every single year spring rolls around.
- Writing needs to be a daily activity for me.
- I am a hard core introvert. I am thriving at home. My soul feels at peace.
- My soul needs access to nature + a chance to wander
- Freedom is ultimately an internal, soul-driven decision. But, a new (to us) car helps so fucking much.
- Celebrations are more special with important people, good food + drink. They don’t have to be big.
- Connection to family + friends means so much.
- I miss pubs + bars + eating out. Other than that, I don’t need the city so much on a daily basis.
- Rituals are simple, everyday moments of being present to what’s going on.
Because of the situation in the world today, I am finding the opportunity to say fuck it to whatever is not meant for me. I have found a deep freedom in literally choosing how I want to create my days, what I want them to contain, and even wonder why I do something that I do. I get to choose. I am creating my life, defining my boundaries, finding my footing, embodying my soul, living how I feel called to live.
I think this is why I am losing all sense of routines lately. Oh, I still get up early. But, I often just sit with my coffee + write a little in my journal. Basically, I do what I feel on any given morning. Listen to a podcast, meditate, stare out the window, stretch, pull oracle cards, post an Instagram photo, choose a crystal for the day… whatever I feel that morning. But, it’s all much more fluid than before. Nothing decided or set in stone. This time is set apart for soul work, As necessary as breathing is for me. But, how this time is used is open… free to adapt + be as the energy feels.
The rest of my pre-quarantine routines have also changed + adapted. New routines are popping up here + there. But, I mostly just let things come as they will. It’s all a part of this process of finding my grounding. Of learning what really roots me + anchors me. So, routines or not… I am giving space to it all.
And, with the addition of a new car, Lina + I cannot even begin to imagine how that will reorganize + reprioritize our life. It already has given us the gift of spontaneity + deep peace. Just deciding to drive out to a nature reserve at 6 on a Saturday night is something that we have only dreamed of for years. It was so nice to not have a car in Sweden for 5 years… but it feels so right to now have one. Helping us to explore + define even more of the kind of life that we want to live. Honestly, I suddenly feel a completeness in a hole that I didn’t know was there.
Food. Family. Nature. Space. Quiet. Purpose. Inspiration.
What more is there really?