24: The week that was the end of it all

One thing after another came to an end this week. The most obvious thing that ended was my work. And then there were some dreams + plans that Lina and I had that came to a painful, heartbreaking, abrupt end. But, if I look some more, then I find that the most powerful part of this week is the end of the season of the priestess. Not that those other things aren’t huge + important, because they are. But, all of them, combined with the end of the spring season, symbolically carry me over the gateway from my “old life” and into a whole new phase of life.

A new season begins as we celebrate the summer solstice this week, yes. So, everything that has come to an end in my life this week means that I am also welcoming a new beginning to a whole new part of my life.

Of course, endings are not always welcomed or easy. And this week was a mix of both.

I have realized + accepted that my time wandering + sitting in the backyard are quickly coming to an end. And, while I will deeply miss watching the seasons change, gazing at the moon through all her phases month after month, and feeling the magic of it all, I feel like this week I finally feel ready.

Before, I ‘ve almost felt a sense of panic about not being able to have my feet soak into the grass or snow just outside my apartment. But, I believe that I am now ready to move to our mid-rise urban apartment. I am so ready for the easy access a balcony gives us. To feel the fresh air first thing in the morning + last thing at night – through all the seasons. To be way up in the sky + to have a view that stretches as far as the eye can see. To just breathe deep and fill my lungs + cells with the windy air up there.

So, for the next few days, I will spend a few more moments in the backyard, giving thanks for my time here, for sharing this space with the birds + rabbits + cats + plants + trees. But, I am ready to move on.

I also said goodbye to my morning rituals before work. That most special time early in the morning when I sit by the window, coffee beside me, to write, meditate, and drop into my center in preparation for the day to come. I cannot express what this space has meant to me. Such a sacred place of anchoring + grounding. A space where I, once again, watched the seasons change throughout the year. I marked the months + years by the big, beautiful trees outside my kitchen window. I watched how the sun rose in different spots depending on the season. And I cherished this quiet tradition of starting every day in the same way.

Of course, I will continue this tradition in our new home. But, of course, I’ll have to feel out exactly where it naturally feels best to practice my morning rituals. The balcony? Kitchen table? Our studio? Somewhere else?

As a final ritual before my last day of work, i made my coffee, lit a candle, and sat down with my journal, crystals, and cards for one last pre-work reading. I chose to pull 2 cards: the lesson (the meaning of the past 5.5 years at work, what have I learned?) and the vision (looking forward to my future – what am I being called to?). A card also fell out as I was shuffling, so I saved it too.

The reading was freaking spot-on.

• The lesson: Owl medicine – I have already begin reflecting on the fact that the past 6 years have been very inward ones for me. I have focused deeply on my soul, who I am + how I want to live. But, even more importantly, what medicine I have to offer as I live my life. I’ve gone deep and discovered just how anchored my roots are. I’ve embraced my own wisdom (the owl) and contemplative ways that call me to live a slow, spiritual life.

• The vision: Song of the wild – And this couldn’t be more perfect either! I feel the shift from this inward focus to a much more outward focus in life as we move + start all of these new beginnings. I am securely grounded + anchored in the ways my soul whispers to me to live (owl medicine)… so, it’s time to begin to draw from that + dare to take it all out into the world. To try new things, to be open, to let my wild soul soar.

• The card that fell out: Talking stick – Natives practice patience + listening, giving speaking privileges to the one holding the talking stick. This card falling out symbolizes that I’m holding the stick right now. It’s my time to speak out, speak up, share my words + wisdom. And that couldn’t be any more in line with what I’m envisioning for the future. What a confirmation!

After this super powerful reading, I feel like I was even more ready for the end of my work as a mentor. I was inspired + ready to head to work for the last time. It was a very relaxing day. I had already completed all that I needed to do, so I spent the morning doing a teeny bit more cleaning and a whole lotta socializing with those who were at work. The end had come + I was so ready. Completely done. I’d written the last words of this chapter, and while it felt weird to leave this work behind after so many years, I could not have been (or be) more certain of how right it is to move on now. So I hugs some necks (yes I did), turned in my keys, and said goodbye. That was it. Chapter closed.

As soon as I got home, I changed my clothes, made some lunch, grabbed a drink, and headed outside to celebrate my freedom – which, of course, feels insane. Amazing + so freaky all at the same time!

The weekend came and we were reminded that life always gives us unexpected endings that we don’t really want, of course. And, without going into detail about it all, just when we thought we were moving forward, everything fell apart right at the end.

In an effort to balance out deep disappointment, we decided to head downtown for the first time since the pandemic started. We booked brunch outside and then just wandered a little. We also drank beer at a local bar we love. While we were out, we realized that this was also most likely the last time we would be downtown before the move. So, it became a little photoshoot for me.

It’s so wild that everything is coming to an end.

So, yes, there were a lot of things that came to an end this past week. Pretty big things too. But, as I mentioned before, this is also the end of the season of the priestess + any energy of the spring that is left over. Now, we are at the height of the summer + we are moving into the deepest part of summer. That shift ushers in a whole new vibe. A whole new archetype to guide us through the summer. With the end of the priestess season, we welcome the energy of the wild woman. More to come on her in my next post in a day or two.

This is the time to feel the light, heat, fire, passion, wildness, and aliveness of the season of abundance, growth, rest, and life. Even as things end, even as life continues to throw a mixture of challenges + beauty at all of us… this is the season to soak in all of the light we can find. To know that the light is here now, that it always balances out the dark, and that this is the meaning of it all. To feel truly, deeply alive is to face, embrace, and live through the highs + lows. This is the full experience of life. And it is wild. And, I honestly don’t want it any other way.

With that, I think it’s time for me to end this + move on with my day. It’s time for me to figure out how to literally shift into this next phase in life. Of course, I’ll take it slow + make it intentional. Wink. Wink.

Happy Wild Woman season + Blessed Solstice, lovelies. I’ll be back with much more about this new season in a day or so. Lots of love. xoxo. liz.