i set my alarm for 6:30 when i woke up at 4:30. i was feeling ambitious. then, i rolled back over to sleep the last 2 hours before my monday would begin. i slept hard. before i knew it, the alarm went off & i was scrambling & fumbling around trying to slide my finger across my phone to silence the music which sounded like it would wake the whole neighborhood. seriously, 6:30 already? with my alarmed turned off (not on snooze, mind you), i lay my head back down on my fluffy pillow, knowing that i was taking a risk. i think i fell asleep, but the falling asleep actually served to wake me up again – my eyes shot open, i did that short breath thing that you do when you’re nodding off, but find yourself waking up. oh god. how long had i slept? with fear, i grabbed my phone & checked the time. 6:42. only 12 minutes had passed. i lucked out. i contemplated my choices. get up, make coffee, light candles, read/write (plus find out all the oscar updates!) or sleep again until lina’s alarm does off in 45 minutes.
i chose to get up. somewhere i found the strength & motivation to put my feet on the floor & make my way into the kitchen. as i was preparing all of the coffee paraphernalia, i realized that i had not turned on the light over the stove so i can see to pour in the water or scoop in the coffee grounds.
then i realized what was happening. light is coming back to sweden! it’s 6:45 & everything is blue & pink outside. inside, the kitchen is lit with natural, morning light. the months of darkness are over. i declare it to be official. and while i truly love the dark, cozy winter months, i find myself feeling very happy to see the sun making such an early appearance this morning. come to think of it, it feels as if everyone is coming out of hibernation these past few days. it’s so true what they say – the light of the sun (or lack thereof) truly affects one’s mood & general overall feeling. perhaps that’s why all those swedes smiled back at me the other day when i took a walk out in the sunshine. we all were part of the same club, with the same secret knowledge and the same feelings… we all know it. we all feel it. the sun is beginning it’s return, spring will come again. the sun had, in fact, not abandoned us. and these little moments of hope found in the secrets of nature remind us to keep on going & fill us with friendliness and cheer.
i’m glad i decided to get up. i needed to see the beauty of the morning, to have the sunshine greet me and tell me that the time has come again – the dark days & nights have ended. for now. just as i had hoped & believed that the light would return, it became true. and when the light fades to darkness again (and it will), i will remember this morning. the darkness may last awhile, it may seem to go on forever, but it never wins. the light will return.
but, you know, it was never really gone.
wishing you a beautiful monday filled with light & peace.