yep. it’s late and i’m now home. it’s been a long, but really, really great day. there are some days that i can speak swedish, and some days i can’t. i have no idea why things happen that way. but, today i was freaking on fire. i think i may have even turned a little corner… it feels like i spoke more swedish than ever before. the swedish switch just turned on in my brain, and i went crazy. in school. at my internship. for an interview/survey on the phone. it felt so natural today. loooove that! maybe i can do this after all!
i’ve been thinking a lot today about fighting. not the violent kind of fighting between people, but fighting as in working hard, not giving up. it began this morning at 8:15 when i walked past an old man, maybe 80 years old or so, who was standing on the sidewalk outside of an apartment building, holding a brown paper bag. just as i passed him and looked into his eyes, he pulled a flask of vodka out of the bag and took a big gulp, still looking at me. i walked on, but i thought about him still… what was his story? had he lost all hope in his life & turned to drinking to help him forget all that is wrong and bad? was he trying to cover up his pain? had he given up fighting for his life and was stuck now just drowning his sorrows with vodka at 8:15 in the morning on a sidewalk? oh, i felt so sad for him.
and then, there are all my fellow swedish students… all fighting to learn a new language and adjust to a new life & society. some having to fight harder than others. some are alone, isolated, and depressed. some have tons of support and opportunities. still, all have their own battle to fight.
this afternoon & evening at my internship i was able to be a part of 2 conversations with 2 young adults. it was so amazing to get to listen to & talk with them some about their lives, their struggles, and even their dreams/plans. both of them must fight, as we all do, to keep living and growing and learning, hoping to continue to become better people and make a difference wherever we are.
but, now, i’m home. it’s quiet, calm, and peaceful. i’ve had tons of inspiration and thoughts rolling around in my head all day (in swedish, of course. hehe.) soon i am headed to bed. but first, i just needed to let the events of the day sink in a little and become part of me. for a few hours now, i get to sleep and lay to rest all of my fights. and then, i wake again tomorrow. ready to face a new day & it’s challenges, struggles, joys, laughter, and tears. in the morning i’ll be ready to pick myself back up and resume my fight… the fight to be free and to be true to myself, the fight to be sunshine in a sometimes dark, cold world, the fight to treat all people with equality, respect, and acceptance, and the fight to always look for the joy in every single moment of life. but for now, i’m safe at home.
peace to you all.