i think we need to learn to tuck the darkness in

i promise i’m not depressed. really.

but, i did say that i was going to focus on trying to embrace the darkness that the month of october brings to sweden. i was going to let my soul go deep and just be. accepting that, for now at least, the darkness steals the light from our days.

so, here i am with yet another blog post about darkness. however, i decided that i would allow myself this because we are now halfway through october – and i felt it’d be good to reflect a little on it all.

but, why do i want to put myself (and you vicariously if you’re reading) through this? isn’t it just going to lead to me (and you) to feeling sad and melancholy? well, perhaps some of those feelings will surface. ok. some of those feelings have surfaced.

more than that, however, by letting myself sit in the darkness, embracing the dark around and within me, i am embracing all of me. i am accepting what is – in life + in my soul.

life is a constant play between dark and light. there is not one without the other. were there no dark times, we would not appreciate and bask in the light. and if there was no light, then we would not understand the dark.

and in life, there are moments that are amazing and wonderful, while there are also moments that are solemn and difficult. to truly, truly experience life, we must admit the presence of them both. and we also must not just run and hide and avoid whatever makes us uncomfortable.

morning window lights

suffering and pain are all too often a huge part of life. and, while i am a dreamer and an optimist, someone whose life is led by a deep belief in hope and peace, i am also a realist. i am aware and present in the real world. i do not live in the clouds, but i walk on the earth. and i feel, and weep, and rant and rave.

to embrace the darkness means to admit all of those things. it means to acknowledge that life is messy and not pretty sometimes.

but, because i realize and face head on all of the darkness within + around me, i find that the light is even more present that i realized.

i even recognize that there is beauty in the darkness. there is comfort and peace in being free and open and honest. there is power in choosing to settle in the darkness for a moment. in allowing myself to be exactly who i am.

so, this month, i am allowing myself to snuggle up beside the dark. i won’t be overcome because i know with all of my soul that the light is still present. even if i can’t see it or feel it. i quietly allow the play between light and dark in my soul, feeling the presence of beauty and sadness, of life and death.

because without allowing this kind of interplay and freedom, then i am not living in truth. the truth of the cycle of life. and the belief that sometimes something has to die in order to bloom. that sometimes something must be lost before it can be found.

the dark part of the journey is tough. it’s the hard part. the part that we want to be over as soon as possible. but, it is also that part that allows us to be created and changed and transformed and reborn.

remember life comes from death. chaos creates order.

we can be self-reflecting soul searchers without being sucked into the abyss of darkness. i promise. it is only by confronting, being with, and accepting the presence of the darkness in our lives that we can put it to rest. and move out into the light.

below is a song from my october playlist. the group is Bowerbirds and the song title is “Tuck the Darkness In”. i just love it. it’s solemn and yet, hopeful. watch. listen. and just let yourself just be. tuck the darkness in, dear friends. sending you peace + love.

onwards + upwards! xoxo

Tuck the Darkness In

Well, the light was rust, and the cold was in our knees,
and our breath poured out over golden fields
Though I could not know then, we’d have but few times like these,
with all the good smoke in between

Tucked the darkness in, dragged the harrow across the land,
found my fresh start, sowed my wildest dreams
Though I could not know then, I was well in the weeds,
a tangled mess, whatever could come next

before the hours took over,
before the full weight was on our shoulders,
before the twilight’s cover,
before I knew time was such a swindler

Oh my dear friend, everything falls to death
We tuck the darkness in, we tuck the darkness in
Oh my dear friend, everything falls to death
We tuck the darkness in, we tuck the darkness in

5 thoughts on “i think we need to learn to tuck the darkness in

  1. Spot on, girl! I hate the dark times (literally and figuratively) but know they are to be embraced for a full and balanced life. Good stuff 🙂

  2. As you so eloquently put it, denying the darkness, the reality of life, is to live in turmoil. To accept what honestly, truly IS, is freeing. If you can face the not-so-good, or the downright bad, you are empowered (which – total and complete speculation – perhaps is why this stage is necessary for you now in your empowered year of 2015???): Knowing you are able to stand in whatever life brings ultimately abolishes the fear that controls so many of us in life. And – as you said – allows you to grow as opposed to stagnating in whatever was in the past, and what is thus now in the present a delusion. Your message that it is possible to face what we’d rather not and emerge intact (as in, not being consumed by the thing or perhaps more accurately, the emotions that are sparked by it) is one of the toughest lessons to learn, and one that I personally have to re-learn again and again as I have to face my initial instinct to turn away. I believe thinking about what you’ve said now about darkness is that is the source of all our power. And so choosing to face struggle or whatever life brings you is what does make us reborn, makes us human, makes us worthy of ourselves. Thank you so much, Liz, for your continued teachings on sanity. Love and strength to you. xoxo

  3. Sorry, my brain doesn’t work in complete thoughts sometimes, but thank you for pointing out to the obvious-but-at-the-same-time-easily-misunderstood concept that being in the darkness and sitting with it is NOT the same thing as being depressed. Facing reality can make you feel sad but that doesn’t mean the sadness controls you – it’s acceptance – and to deny whatever feelings arise from facing the thing is to deny ourselves. This idea that equates depression with reflection on unhappy parts of our lives is so ingrained in us all that we are often completely unaware of it. Thank you for shining light on it and providing such an important reminder.

  4. Not liking dark is fine. As fine as liking it. Admittedly I haven’t experienced prolonged darkness but knowing myself, I’d probably be fine with it. I love how it’s like you are giving yourself permission to not like it and in the process you’re embracing it in whole.

    Thing is, our minds are used to deal in absolutes: good-bad, light-darkness, you get the idea. And I no longer believe these absolutes exist, it’s only what we perceive that make them what they are. There are so many infinite variations in between, so many ways of seeing the same thing from a different lens. Anything can be a curse or a blessing depending on how we define them and that is yet another binary aspect of our thought processes – is anything totally and absolutely a blessing or a curse? Is it a subjective or an objective state?

    I love how you work on changing your perspective and perception in order to reduce the weight of a situation that makes you feel bad, in the process changing your feelings. Thanks for sharing Liz.

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