autumn mood of the month

October is the end. But, it is also the threshold to something new.

28 Oct 2021

We’ve made it to the end of October. It’s the final days before Halloween. The march toward the ancient Celtic holiday of Samhain (from whence came our modern day Halloween) is upon us. And, we’re entering the most magical, mystical time of the entire year. For me, this entire October has felt extremely magical actually. So, I must admit that it is a bit sad to start to say goodbye to this month + turn toward a new one. But, if there was ever a season for really soaking up the ending of a month, then this is it. (Plus, the mystical vibes will be with us all November long!)

With the close of October + the celebration of Samhain/Halloween, we also say goodbye to the end of the Celtic year. In other words, in my way of thinking of it, this is the end of a cycle of nature. Autumn is the season of letting go + release. And October is that last, deep breath before total surrender to the darker months, the quiet, cold, silent season of winter.

The end of one cycle

So, yes, this is it. The end of the year. And, if you follow the rhythm of nature, it makes sense. Also known as the 3rd harvest, the ending of October marks the time that the animals come in from the fields, hunters head out to find food to be stored up + used during winter, the trees release the last of the leaves as the winds begin to howl, the sun retreats in the sky, making way for the moon to shine longer and for the nights to rule the day, and all of nature begins to fall into a deep slumber. It feels like everything dies, turns inward, and disappears into the darkness.

These next few days, as we close out this year and cross over the threshold into the season of black nothingness, there is a sense of mystical energy in the air. It’s spooky + mysterious + quiet. And it feels both frightening + comforting all at once.

But, we must pass through this season of death + darkness. The ending of autumn + the coming of winter asks us to be open to all that is unseen, unknown, otherworldly, mystical, and ancient. As we move into these days around Halloween, we find ourselves in a place of wise, mystical, ancestral guidance. If we simply dare to embrace the ending of the year + settle into the dark.

Death, release, and darkness

Even if we don’t feel comfortable thinking about our ancestors or those that have gone before, even if we find ourselves still in the midst of grief + sorrow for the passing of those we have loved, we cannot turn from the way nature draws us downward and shows us that the cycle of life we must face endings.

And so, as we move through Halloween//Samhain and enter into dark November, there are a few simple things we can do to honor this phase of the cycle of life. This is the perfect time of the year to honor + give thanks for those lives that have touched our own, to look back over the past year so that we can release + let go of all that has served us but that we no longer need, and to prepare our hearts + homes for the long winter ahead.

Personally, this cycle of life, this past year has been traumatic + tough. There is much to release. There has been much darkness and it is time that I face these shadow emotions, feelings, and experiences. Many ghosts that will haunt me into the new year if I do not clear my soul.

Since last Halloween/Samhain + throughout this cycle of life, I feel like I have experienced everything. Lina + I were expecting a baby and had so many dreams + hopes ahead. Only to find out that our sweet little girl had a chromosomal abnormality. So, we ended up saying goodbye to her + finding ourselves in the deepest, darkest sorrow… which we still carry with us today. In addition, I passed a year, now almost 2, without being able to go see my parents + my brother in the States. My work, before we moved, was extremely stressful, negative, and difficult during this past cycle as well. Lina was unemployed for a while, thanks to the pandemic. And, our previous apartment had become a place of negative energy, conflict, and stress.

It has not been an easy life cycle for us. One of the hardest, if not the hardest.

But, in honoring the passing of our sweet little girl, we were also gifted a sense of intuition that inspired us to move from the apartment, my job, and all of the negativity that had crept in. Our grief + sorrow did not disappear, but we knew that it was time to make a change. So, we packed up, I quit my job (Lina now had a fantastic new one), and we leaped forward to create a new life in a place where we knew that we’d feel at home. We knew that it was right… and we could not have been any more correct. This move has rejuvenated our life, our souls, our inspiration. And, now, we are learning to live with grief, sorrow, joy, and hope all at the same time – giving us a deeper sense of the fullness of life.

I also find myself at a crossroads right now, after settling in our new home. And, I believe that now, maybe more than ever, I want to ponder the wisdom of my ancestors to help guide me in deciding which path to take. But, I also intend to allow my own inner wisdom, wild woman speak to me to make sure I stay true to my soul.

Since moving to Norrköping, I have not been working. However, I have been volunteering for an organization that is planning to hire me as soon as the financial funds come in. Not officially working has given me some blessed, deep space to reconnect with my writing, create, meditate, and remember all that inspires me + calls to my soul. It has begun to clarify exactly how I feel that I want my days to be + in what ways I feel that I can offer who I am to the world. And, right now, as I said, I am at a crossroads. Trying to decide which path to follow as it pertains to my spiritual path + my work in the world.

The beginning of a new

I’ve now talked a lot about the end of October as the ending of a cycle of nature/cycle of a year. But, as nature shows us, with every ending there is also a beginning. Even though this is the season of darkness, death, mystery, and shadows… everything is not over. This is not the end, but an ending. If life is cyclical, if nature moves in cycles, then every single ending (even death) leads to a new beginning.

And that new beginning starts slowly, right here in the dark as we pass through the mystical days of Halloween and Samhain. So, rather than going directly from an ending and switching over to a new beginning with a flurry of activity, this year I understand what a new beginning really is.

And, the whole month of November + most of December is that slow, quiet, dark first stage of a new beginning.

As much as I want to begin to write about November, I will wait until next week to begin to talk about the mystical energy of the month ahead. But, you should know, I’m not sure I’ve ever been so excited about November as I am this year. It feels like I have tapped into some deeper understanding of the rhythms of nature + finally begun to understand the whole point of dark, dreary November. And I cannot wait to share it with you.

For now, there are 4 days left in October. And there is still a need for feeling the mysterious, shadowy, spirit-inspired, empowering (witchy), moody energy of this month. There is still time for meditating in the dark, pondering the ghosts of our past, releasing what we do not need, and beginning to gather all that we do need to carry us onward into the cold, dark days ahead. For now, though, I just want to soak up the magic, the mystery, the cozy vibes of October. I want to bask in the fog, the brightly-colored leaves, the plethora of pumpkins, and the deep traditions of this month.

Do not fear, though, lovelies. This is not the end. We are carrying all of this magical energy into November as begin something completely new.

Blessed Samhain + Happy Halloween, y’all. Make it a fun, meditative, spooky, and magical one! xoxo. liz.

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