I had great intentions.
I turned off the tv. Sat down at my computer on the desk. Lit a candle (my sign to myself that I am ready to get some shit done). And started making notes in my favorite moleskin notebook: grocery list, blog posts, halloween party preparations, book ideas…
I got one little post done. I skipped over this one, knowing that it would be a little more to think about, and did the post which I was going to post today – a fun, short post. Check.
I so wanted to work on this full moon post next, but I knew that I should go ahead and do my grocery shopping. So, I was responsible. I prioritized everything on my list and went to the website where we order our groceries. Side note: Yes. We do our grocery shopping online and have it delivered to us. Something that helps out with our bigger, once-a-month, shopping since we don’t have a car and the grocery store is a few miles away.
FIVE, that’s right, FIVE HOURS later I finally completed my order. I won’t go into details, because they are super boring, but let’s just say that there were internet problems, website problems, I talked to I don’t know how many people in customer service, tried to change passwords, and went “shopping” three f-ing times because the order was erased three f-ing times.
I was working on the groceries pretty much the entire time, while also trying to get some other things done around the apartment. None of which was writing anything.
And then, suddenly, our friend Micke, who just got home from a 2 week work trip to the States (jealous!!), dropped in for fika at the same time Lina got home for fika. So, we had fika and chatted and time passed, and before we knew it, it was time for dinner. I threw some stuff together and Micke joined us. So, it turned out to be a super cozy afternoon/evening together.
With the big, huge, beautiful super moon rising outside our window, my love and I settled in on the sofa for a calm, relaxing evening. And I had zero desire to write since it was about 8pm.
Well, here I am now. It’s Wednesday morning, and I am finally writing my post from yesterday. I’m not irritated anymore, just thankful for a chance to write for a minute.
And I’m wondering if that full moon sent me any crazy vibes, causing me to get all off balance yesterday. I was trying so hard to be productive. Feeling so inspired. And then, life happened. Just regular, stupid stuff that changed my plans. Which is totally normal. That’s how life rolls. But, for some reason, I was having a hard time rolling with the punches. And I felt all wonky and weird. Still do. I don’t even know what it is I feel. And, I wonder why? Is anyone else out there feeling the same?
Well, crazy vibes or not, this year’s sixth and final full Super Moon was a beautiful, big, magical moon that ushers us into the last months of 2015. She invites us to just sit. To just be. To let everything that has happened + changed in our lives over the past 10 months begin to settle. She reminds us that we are strong; we are empowered. And now it’s time to really live our truth. To live authentically and in line with our core values, what really means the most to us. And the beauty of the moon gives us a chance let our inner light illuminate what and who we love.
But, instead of just being all dreamy, days like yesterday illuminate the reality of humanity, that I am simply human being, living a human existence. And all that entails. The light and the dark moments. The grounded and confused moments. The bright and shadowed moments. And I am reminded that I am just living life as it really is, experiencing all parts of it – both the beauty of it and the shitty-ness of it and everything in-between.
And yet, there’s no need to get all caught up in the emotions of the beauty or the shit. There is no need to freak out. All there is to do is equalize. To accept and allow it all. To be whole and steady and grounded. To not put all of our trust in happiness, which is fleeting. And to not give up hope, succumbing to the pressures and irritations of the crappy things that are part of life.
Embracing the darkness and living in the light simply means being who we really are – in all of our fullness. Body, heart, mind, spirit.
Everything else is unnecessary. Stuff we don’t need. And there are so many things that we all can leave behind, release, let go of. Things that no longer serve us – like feeling the pressure to be perfect, or to be happy, or to keep everyone else happy, or the temptation to fall apart when things don’t go our way, to name just a very few.
That’s what we’ve been learning this year. To let go. At least, I have. Not only have I been working towards something, but I have been aligning and learning what it is that I do not need anymore in life. And, right now, is the time for me to let go of those things I don’t need… in order to move forward. To live higher and deeper. To be more of who I really am.
Luckily, nature shows me exactly what I need to do. The brightly colored autumn leaves are currently fall to the ground all around me. They simply allow the changes and transitions to come. And, it’s time for me to do the same. Maybe you know what I’m talking about. Maybe you are experiencing the same… feeling deep within you that there are things to release and let go of. And, by surrendering to the cycle of life, to nature’s way, to simply being who we are, and letting go, we create space for new life to eventually be born.
There is a deeper truth that you and I both know. It’s our own individual truth. We may try to ignore it or turn away from it, but our soul knows what its wants. We know who we are meant to be. Right now, as we embark on the last two months of 2015, let’s let ourselves soak into the reality of who we really are and what kind of life we really want to live. Deep inside, we already know who we are and what we want. And looking up at that big, bright, moon we feel like we can have it all, that anything is possible – and we can, it is.
Now, is the time to accept and align those seemly crazy dreams and callings into our life. Now is the time to go with the flow, to trust all that we have learned so far. Now is the time to just be who we are. We’ve grown and changed and transformed these past few months. We are more self-aware and have dug deep to find a new courage.
Now, it’s up to us how we use that knowledge and courage, how we integrate and move into these next two months.
Let’s use these last two months of the year to let it all sink in and to keep on aligning our souls + our lives. Right now it’s time to release, let go, and move forward on this new path that we’ve been creating. Amazing shit’s gonna be happening and in 2016, we are gonna soar.
For now, it really is about setting intentions, though. Which I did yesterday. But, the day most definitely did not go as I planned and intended. However, that’s exactly the lesson that I needed to learn.
To stay true to myself, to who I am. To allow the changes, the transitions, the good and the bad to all be a part of life. Because, that is life. And, being grounded and authentic, means feeling, yet standing firm. It means letting go, surrendering, going with the flow – and never giving up on that truth that is hidden deep within us. To never, ever turn away from who we are and who we intend to be. Because the road may not look like we planned it, but the intentions will always get us there. No matter what.
So, set those intentions from your soul, my friends. Dream big. And never, ever give up on who you are.
onwards + upwards! xoxo
Oh, and that fun, short post? It’s coming tomorrow!