I am enjoying a slow Sunday with my love. Sitting at our desks, beside each other. Just doing our thing. Sipping coffee. Discussing life, decisions, plans. Getting inspiration + creating inspiration. So, basically, it feels pretty damn good. Much better than a few days ago.
Thinking back on the week that has just been, I have to be honest. I am glad that it is over.
We spent half of last weekend in Norrköping, where Lina grew up + where we lived for the first 3 years of our marriage. We were there to spend time with family and celebrate the life of Lina’s grandmother, who had passed away. Funerals are always tough, but there is great comfort in gathering with family and going through rituals that mark special moments + give meaning to things that we cannot understand.
I had some time to myself one day, while the family took care of business, and I must admit, that, in addition to being with + supporting family in the best ways that I could, I deeply miss working as a minister. These thoughts came over me as I sat in the quiet silence of my parents-in-laws’ home on a dark, gray day last week. To be able to help give meaning + spiritually guide/lead others through all kinds of moments of life… celebratory ones, dark ones, and ordinary ones. This is something that my soul craves. Something that I often wonder is at the heart of how I can best be used in this world.
Don’t get me wrong, I do not feel pulled to work in a church again, in the same way that I did before. But, I do feel pulled to the work. This is something I must think about.
And to be honest, I have secretly thought of creating an online tribe/community for a long time. One that is not connected to any tradition or religion, but that is filled with seekers and pilgrims looking to connect + celebrate + serve. I know nothing else about it all… it’s just something that’s been stirring in my soul for years actually. And I can feel it’s connection/evolution with my work as a life coach… because it’s all one in the same to me. The work of a spiritual leader. Rituals, meditations, guidance, counsel, coaching, ceremonies, etc. These are all things that I am educated, qualified, and experienced in… I just have no outlet for it right now. So, I’ve wondered about creating my own outlet.
What do you think? (not a rhetorical question! leave me a comment or email me, of you have any thoughts).
Well, back to my week. I also just happened to have a conference in Norrköping on Monday and Tuesday, so even though I missed one day of it on Monday because of the funeral, I attended on Tuesday. There was a speaker that I listened to that inspired a few blog posts that I am letting settle within my soul… and that felt really grounding + good.
Then it was back home + back to work in Uppsala on Wednesday. By Thursday, though, I had had enough. My body and my soul were done. I just needed a break. After a month of trying to balance taking care of myself and others, I realized that I really, really needed to take a step back.
So, I talked with my fabulous bosses, who know everything that’s been going on lately, and they encouraged me to go home for the rest of the afternoon and stay home on Friday as well.
So. I. Did.
And it was completely the right decision. After a long walk home, taking a different way than usual, I snuggled on the sofa in my cozy clothes and watched a documentary with my love. The rest of the weekend has been filled with deep conversations with Lina, a bit of creativity, meditation, lots of coffee, a little wine, a dear friend, planning + dreaming for the new year, and letting the moments unfold exactly as I want.
I must admit that now that it’s Sunday, I have a bit of anxiety about going back to work tomorrow. But, I know I must face it. I just have realized that something happened in the beginning of October which has affected me deeply. I haven’t been able to shake it or deal with it appropriately. I don’t really know how to. But, I press on… knowing that simply acknowledging it right now is a huge step.
However, there is no need to focus on work right now, for I still have this whole day ahead of me. And I am going to keep enjoying, creating, healing, and being in the moments as they come.
Pluuuuuus, I am super excited about the upcoming weekend. Next weekend, I mean. What happens this week, my American friends?!
T h a n k s g i v i n g!!
And, for Lina and me, we are celebrating with our traditional Thanksgiving dinner on Saturday. Of course, Thursday means nothing in Sweden, so we always wait until the weekend to get our Turkey Day on! (need recipes or tips?! click here).
And, this year, we will be celebrating with one of my AMERICAN family members! Kat, my cousin who lives in Paris, is coming here (hopefully her boyfriend will be able to come too!) on Friday and celebrating Thanksgiving with us. I am so pumped I don’t even know what to do. So, we will be 8-9 people for dinner next weekend, which is so awesome.
And then… the Christmas season is upon us! So, immediately after the dinner, we will begin to put up our decorations + begin the darkest, coziest, most inward time of the year. And I can’t wait.
I am also super excited because I’ve got a few freebies for you guys that I am working on, including a daily/weekly slow living guide for the season + the most epic Christmas playlist that you ever could imagine. So, stay tuned!
How are you guys feeling right now? Have you had a good week? Is the holiday spirit starting to bubble inside of you, or is it stressing you out? And, most importantly, how do you care for yourself when you need it?!
Sending you tons of light and love, my lovelies.