the seasons

This year I am frightened by all of those moody October vibes

5 Oct 2019

Happy October, y’all. Anyone out there as excited – and frightened – as I am? Every single year, without fail, I am bursting with those moody October vibes as soon as my birthday has passed in the end of September. I am immediately filled to the brim with the love of all things dark, spooky, haunting, and mystical. And, yet, this year, I’m also on edge. Freaked out.

For as long as I can remember, I have always loved October. Well, really the whole time from late September to the New Year. Is there any other season quite like it?! I mean, seriously. All of the holiday celebrations spread throughout the last months of the year are just so cozy.

But, this year, there’s also a little butterfly in my stomach as well. A little nervousness + fear that are accompanying my usual excitement.

But, what really kicks the season off for me are those moody October vibes when the darkness that begins to settle in. It is the medicine of the autumn. The time of the year when we settle into the dark. To dwell in it, even as things around us with school + work + life plug on at their usual pace. The season of the dark invites us to find a slow, quiet rhythm in the midst of it all.

For an introvert like me this is the time of the year in which I thrive. And days like today are the perfect setting for diving deep into the mystery + wisdom of the season.

This autumn, however, I am committing to diving deeper than before. And that is scaring the shit out of me. I’m committing to sinking down into the earth, really feeling + embracing the dark, and allowing it to be the atmosphere from which I discover my own unique wisdom. I intend to go deep within my soul. To find my inner wisdom. And the receive the deep, earth medicine that is meant just for me.

What’s terrifying about that is that I have to bust out on my own. I have to leave the comfort of following behind + relying on the inspiration of others who have gone before me. It’s time for me to embrace my own medicine. To create my own offerings. To find my own way in the dark. And that’s scary, y’all. Because who am I to have some kind fo medicine to offer to anyone else? What do I really have to offer? Who am I to say that I have a message that is uniquely mine to share with the world?

Yet, I know I do. I know I must. And I know the time is now.

To do that, I am turning off all of my outside influences. I am releasing any need to follow or read any of the newsletters that I get in my inbox throughout the month. I am reading some very specific books + I am participating in a tarot challenge, but other than that, I am relying on my own spirit to guide me. I am seeking to create, find, use, uncover, and receive everything I need from the mystery of the dark. From tapping into my own inner knowledge, to feeling the messages of my ancestors, to listening to the wisdom of the nature.

This month, my intention is to receive the dark, deep medicine of those moody October vibes by simply sitting with the moody vibes of October. Open to receiving whatever comes my way.

So far, I must admit, though, that October has been weird. Uncomfortably weird. This past week I felt exhausted. Every damn day. I felt moody myself. So I guess it was just my way of starting to sink into it all. I mean, the dark isn’t always the coziest, most comfortable space in which to dwell. And yet, moving through the dark times, the dark moments, of life is exactly what helps us to birth something new.

So, I did the best I could to stay present. To just accept + flow with it all, knowing that the dark has so much to offer me. The darkness of unknowing. The haunting darkness that won’t let old ghosts of past mistakes or habits leave me alone. The emptiness of the dark. Yes, the dark is often frightening and very moody.

Yet, I know that it is a part of the rhythm of the earth. A part of the cycle of life. Without the dark, there is no death. And without death, there is no life. Without life, there is no death. So, this is the season that reminds me that after light + life comes darkness + death. But, that’s not the end of it. All of nature, the entire cosmos, teaches me that it is a cycle, a spiral of ever- continuing evolution + transformation.

From the darkness + death of autumn + winter comes new life, new hope, and new growth with the coming spring and summer.

Turns out, I experience this blah, exhausted vibe every October. A sure sign that this is the way I surrender to the season + literally find myself adjusting to the dark. Falling deeper with each passing day. Just as the golden, orange, red, and brown leaves begin their descent, I take a cue from them and allow myself to fall + descend slowly to the earth myself. Down, down, down, into my soul.

So, with that in mind, I surrender myself to the darkness once again. I accept this season of the year. And I let it to be a time of allowing deep insight + wisdom to be discovered as I sit in the quiet of it all. I decide, instead of fighting the dark + instead of being afraid of it, to settle into the cozy, moody October vibes that will draw me down into my soul. Deep down. Into the unknown. Knowing that within the dark unknown, my soul will guide me. Spirit, magic, ancestors, mystery, quiet, earth will teach me all that is within me.

This season I am open, receiving, and listening, to the magic all around. But, most importantly, I am harvesting, discovering, and gathering all of my own inner wisdom… preparing to plant seeds at the end of the year so that my own deep medicine can be offered to the world.

Now, it’s time to light candles. Grab a blanket. Find something warm to drink. Grab a book, or better yet, a pen + a journal, turn on some moody October music, and spend some cozy alone time. Just me + my soul. Balancing, grounding, listening, intuiting, feeling, and discovering.

Happy Moody October, witchy souls. I hope you are able to sink down into your own magical souls this seasons. Lots of cozy autumn love to you. xoxo. liz.

2 Comments

  • Reply katiekataz 6 Oct 2019 at 07:23

    If you’re open to sharing, what books are you reading? I am also doing shadow work this season…although work may be a strong word. Lol. I’m dancing with my shadow and getting to know her and learning how to integrate those dark places instead of ignoring or hiding them by turning inward and working with my guides and intuition and doing my best to stay present and open to receiving. Interestingly enough, I pulled the hermit card as my guide in my shadow spread. Pretty much just confirmation of what I already knew. That I need to sit with myself and start looking inward and start writing in one of my many beautiful but empty journals. Anyway, lovely blog. Many blessings being sent your way! 🖤

    • Reply Liz 2 Nov 2019 at 11:30

      Hi Katie! I’m so sorry for my super slow response. I’ve been unexpectedly away from my blog – just living in the moment. 🙂 I am reading The Wisdom of the Shamans by Don Jose Ruiz and Goddesses by Joseph Campbell. Soooooo good!

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