that’s it. i decided that this cold is gonna leave me and i’m forcing it out by staging a bed-in. that’s a sit-in in a bed. yep. i’ve been in bed all day (ok. perhaps i will move to the couch when i decide i need a little tv action). but enough is enough. i’m sick of feeling sick, so, it’s mid-afternoon on a wednesday and i’m still under my covers. no music. not much computer. no tv. just me. alone with my cat. drinking tea. napping. drinking juice. staring at the ceiling. napping again. trying to heal. i think i made the right decision, though. i only wish that my love could be in bed too since she’s also under the weather…
my view from the bed during today’s lazy morning w/my love before she went to work.
you know i love coziness, so i’m making the best of it (even if i am a little bored). our bodies and our minds need some time to not do anything (as if we can shut off our minds. well, i can’t). our souls too. so, i’m focusing on the warm, cozy covers. lighting some candles. drinking lots of hot tea. and giving my body & my brain a break for today. perhaps i will write some. perhaps catch up on some tv series. perhaps nap again. i’m gonna listen to my body & do whatever it says. so, far, it has said to literally just be.
but, just being always tends to lend itself to thinking (hence the inability to shut off my mind)… sometimes that’s good. sometimes it’s not. a few hours ago, i found myself daydreaming about the states until i fell asleep. i imagined the sunshine, the water, being on the boat, eating my favorite foods, seeing my family. my daydreaming turned into homesickness as i drifted off into a deep nap.
keeping an atmosphere of coziness all day as part of my healing process.
i have also found myself thinking about my blog during my waking hours today. it’s such a narcissictic habit. isn’t it? to write about myself. post pictures of myself & my life. as if i am something great. on the other hand, i have a story to tell, thoughts to share, and people to connect with… so this is the perfect platform for that. when i first started blogging, i sucked. at least i think so. i was never satisfied with how it looked, what i posted, etc. i was caring about possible readers too much. later on, lina & i had a blog together for a while, and that was really fun. i felt creative & began to find my voice. then, about a year ago, i created this blog… my co-blog with lina had run it’s course for both of us. here i have found a home. i found my place to express myself. to write, post, create whatever & however i wanted, without regard to who was reading. i wrote for myself. just recently, have i begun to wonder (since my readership – is that a word?) has picked up, if i am writing for a audience again, or if i am writing for me? what is the purpose of my blog? is it to create & write, or is it to generate comments/connections? or both? and is one better than the other? hmmm…
prayer to myself: please always, always write & post only from your soul. only what you feel, what you need to say, what you are inspired to say. disregard those who read (in a sense). do not write for anyone else, but let what’s inside flow out. only when you are just yourself, will you allow yourself to be used. listen to & speak from your own voice. always. be. true. authentic.
(i know. this little fast from all music, tv, people, etc. has gotten me seriously stuck in my head. over-analyzing. but sometimes it’s good to reassess too.)
i cherish all my readers, and the connections i have made through this blog. i find such inspiration from reading many blogs which i have discovered. i am inspired to keep writing by the lovely & encouraging comments i receive. i long to stay connected to friends & family in the states by showing little snippets of my life here in sweden.
and i have a message to get out to the world – a message of hope, acceptance, justice, & love. i want to be an ambassador of peace through my words & pictures. and i want to shout out to everyone that there is one universal truth: love… this world may be upside-down, crazy, confusing, and full of corruption & injustice, but i believe in something much more powerful than all of the brokenness & darkness all around us and in our lives. i believe that love does conquer all. that peace is possible. and that, if we all simply seek to follow our bliss, to listen to our souls, that individually we will grow stronger, and together we will create a world full of justice, love, & peace. that is why we are here. to love ourselves & one another, as we have been loved. i believe it with all that i am. i know it from deep within me.
so, perhaps, this little corner of the blogging world, this little be.love.live. space, is my way of continuing my journey to be who i was created to be; and to join with all of you in working together in our sacred calling to c0-create this world to be the world it was created to be.
thank you for stopping by to remind me that i am not alone in this journey, in this quest, this calling to live life to the fullest. thank you for simply being you.
(look at what happens when you blog from bed during a sick day. hehe.)
joy. love. justice. mercy. and peace to you all.
mmmh good thoughts. I was thinking of starting a blog… but then I realised I don’t think it’s “me”. Not sure why and sometimes I start considering it again. I think it’s probably just because I really love reading yours but I hate writing so I have a feeling it would be a one-post-that’s-it-blog. hehe. anyway I’m reading the purpose driven life for the lenten discussion group at church and he talks about the nine different ways people are near to God. quote “activists love God through confronting evil, battling injustice and working to make the world a better place” made me think of you. Keep fighting! xx and hope you get better soon
I heart you, Nicole! You always make me smile & you boost me ego. Hehe. As for starting a blog of your own, it may not “be you”, but you have so much to say. Such a great & inspiring perspective. I’d be a reader for sure, even if you only posted every now & then!
I used The Purpose Driven Life in ny church in NC once… a great discussion starter! Been thinking about you & your class for Lent… you are awesome!
Love ya!!! xoxo