i remember exactly what happened one year ago. in fact i wrote down every single moment in my journal. it was the day that my love decided to take her life back by admitting herself to the hospital for intense treatment of anorexia.
i could not have been prouder. and yet, i was terrified. nervous. sad. and so very scared.
just 2 years ago, lina was sent to the hospital – committed – because she was dying from this eating disorder that was slowly taking every bit of life from her. but, she somehow managed to fight through those (almost) 3 months in the hospital and came back to life some – though much of it remained a struggle.
last year, exactly one month from today, she and her counselors (and i) decided that it was time for her to go back to the hospital for more intense treatment. she had to get this under control and fight to make her dreams come true – which was to move to asheville and study graphic design. so, we packed her bags and headed over to check her in – knowing what lay ahead for us both. a long, hard fight for lina. and time all alone again for me. even though she did not want to do this, something inside of her was stronger than the disease. and she did it.
we knew that it had to be done. but, neither one of us wanted to be separated. it was so tough to admit her to the hospital, and then leave her there – though i saw her frequently and she was even able to sleep at home some near the end of her treatment. and i can’t even imagine what it was like for her – being stuck there to face her fears and figure out how to live. while she was there, i spent lots of time, sitting with her, watching her do puzzles, and just hanging out with her. but, she did all the work. i suppose i’ll never know the fight that she had to fight – and all that she had to face.
luckily, and amazingly, lina had lots of incredible professional people surrounding her and helping her through it all – challenging her and comforting her. and our dear friend, nicole, flew from ireland to be with me the first few days that lina was gone, so i wasn’t alone. i also relied heavily on this blog as a means to process and help me focus – both last year and two years ago.
it ended up being about two months of treatment in total (from april 12 – sometime in june), just before we moved to asheville, that lina stayed in the hospital. but, she was determined. she fought her demons. she had amazing help. and, with all of that help and pushing, she took her life back.
so, today i celebrate life – most specifically my love’s life. i cannot imagine living without her – and it came close to that at one point. but, my lina, my amazing lina, kick anorexia’s ass (though she still is recovering and fighting today – it is a lifelong process) and chose to live life. and i’m thinking… if my love can fight her way back to living her dream, and finding happiness and peace within herself, then anyone can do anything.
she is my inspiration. the love of my life. my best friend. and the whole world to me. i am so blessed to be able to share every single moment of living life with her. i’m not sure that i can actually express in words how she makes my life beautiful and meaningful. and i cannot begin to tell you how we have now dedicated our lives to celebrating every single little moment we encounter – i suppose as a way to celebrate how much we now understand about living life to the fullest.
for us, for me, life has become about those little moments that we find ourselves giggling. about enjoying the simplicity of just sitting together. of soaking up the sun, listening to the radio, riding with the windows down, sipping on a cold beer outside, sharing that first cup of coffee in the morning, dancing around our apartment… just regular, little, amazing moments with lina. that’s all i need to be truly happy.
what an incredible fight. what an amazing person. i am overwhelmed with love and admiration.
I love this so very much! I have a friend who is living with this and i am so very happy each day i see her on Facebook or Ravelry, because I know that she’s still fighting and living. Love to you guys!
Shayla, thank you so much for your comment! It is so tough to watch someone you care about suffer through this. Much light and love to your friend – hopefully she has a lot of help and can pull herself out of this. Sending love right back at ya! xx
Hooray! What a delightful and celebratory post! I too have battled and beat demons and I celebrate the fact that ‘if I can do it anyone can do it’. There is something so strengthening about being almost beaten by something… because in fact we weren’t. We survived. And now we thrive! Way to go Lina! You two have a LOT of living and loving and sharing to do in this life, so here’s to surviving and thriving! Clinking to cheers you both with my faux-red wine in a very nice glass (why call it grape juice when ‘faux wine’ makes me laugh?!). luv n hugs, Gina
Thank you for sharing your light and love, Gina. I know that you are truly celebrating with us – and that means so very much! Yes, when we survive, we have so much for which to be thankful. Your comments are always such beautiful moments in my life! Love to you. xx
Perfection in a post with the best reason to detail living every minute! I cannot imagine going through this and watching my love going though this. It’s a testament to the two of you to have gotten thru and into recovery. Continue so and celebrate always. Much love
Thank you for your sweet, celebratory, faithful love, Holly! Your presence in my social media world is something that I truly treasure. Love love love!
A very touching post. I read a little bit over at Lina’s blog too. It is these events in life tht really make us appreciate what it is to be alive.
Be well.
You are so very right!! Thank you for your comment and for sharing your love.
Wow! She is so brave for admitting and fighting her disease. You are wonderful for supporting her and for celebrating her new life; looking forward to the future you have together and to her continued good health. Your love story is beautiful and inspiring, thank you for sharing
She is, isn’t she Melly?! She inspires me every single day! Thank you for your love and support and inspiration. Sending you buckets of love and joy. xx
Way to go Lina and Liz! I’m so happy you did this together. That had to have made you both stronger. Sending strength and love your way to both of you. You are both are an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you for your comment, Jess! Yes, together, is how we roll. And we are most definitely stronger and more in love than ever. Thank you so much for your supper and love. Sending lots of it right back at you!!