as a woman married to a woman, beauty is a part of my every day life.
it can be found everywhere. in every little nook & cranny of the little apartment that my love and i share. there is an awareness of beauty in almost everything we share. from lighting candles on any ole regular tuesday night, to eating breakfast together at the dinner, to decorating and creating a sanctuary in our home, to the sheets that we put on the bed, to the colors we choose to have on display, to the music that we play, to the inspirational words and pictures we hang on our walls. beauty is found in how we understand each other, listen to each other, talk to each other, dream with each other, learn and explore with each other.
of course, my wife is beauty herself.
and while i honor the physical beauty that she adds to this world, i am aware that her beauty is most definitely not only skin deep. her true beauty is that which radiates from her soul. and whether she knows it or not, people all around her know that they are in the presence of beauty when she is near.
yes, beauty is an awareness.
it is a moment that comes to you, and you find yourself closing your eyes, breathing deeply, and soaking up whatever it is that you see, hear, feel.
i believe that all of life is beautiful. and the woman who finds the courage to open her eyes, her heart, her mind, her soul to experience and share that beauty with the world… well, that is a beautiful woman.
i think i learned what beauty is from a woman, from the women in my life. i took little bits & pieces from each of them, adding & building onto myself as the years have passed by. my mom’s belief in equality & justice & the importance of family. my cousin’s funky individuality. my sister-inlaw’s creativity. my other cousin’s dedication to learning. and countless of women friends, mentors, & co-workers who inspire me simply because of who they are. but, it was when i married my wife, that i began to truly see beauty everywhere. i think that’s because it was the first time i began to see beauty within me.
for 8 eight years i was married to a man. a very nice man. a kind man. but, a man who was not right for me. not because he was a man, but because we could not provide each other with a beautiful life. we had plenty of good & lovely moments. and we had plenty of difficult, painful, and ugly moments. some of the most ugly moments i could imagine. more ugly than i had ever imagined actually. and i felt ugly. i felt unworthy. so, i searched and searched for something to fill myself with. i wanted a life of beauty, but i didn’t know what that was. i longed for true beauty (inside and outside). what i really longed for was to know myself. to be true to myself.
finally, the stars lined up right. i found courage. the heavens opened up and sent me a message. i found inspiration. whatever it was, something happened. and i began to believe in beauty again. i began to seek that which my soul cried out for. and then, as if i was truly living and breathing for the first time, everything became beautiful. i mean everything. even the difficult moments became pathways beauty.
meeting my wife just when i began to understand what it means to be a beautiful woman, and just when i began to understand that i was one, caused the doors to the world to swing wide open. colors were more vibrant. life became more simple. love encompassed everything.
for the first time, i understood what made something beautiful. what made someone beautiful. it was simple and honest. beauty was not complicated or self-made. beauty simply was an expression of the soul. the beauty of a woman was found in the freedom of a woman to be true to herself.
and so, hand in hand, embarking on a new life together, a new & beautiful life, my love and i decided to live a life filled with beautiful things. and what that means most to u,s is that we chose to live life from our souls. to be who we are. unique. weird. funny. crazy. quiet. hipster. hippie.
because the true beauty of a woman comes from the woman who chooses to true to her self.
* this blog post is written in conjunction with the beauty of a woman blogfest. an opportunity for bloggers to share their thoughts, ideas, and inspirations on beauty with each other. a beautiful idea in itself! click here to read more entries beginning tomorrow, february 22, 2013.