Well, here we are. It’s the last letter in the This Is Me retreat series. I’ve stared at a blank page on my computer for a while now, trying to figure out what + how to write to you. How to end this journey. Of course, I had everything planned out before we even began the series 6 weeks ago. But, I didn’t know exactly exactly every word I would write down. And, I also didn’t know exactly how I would feel, what I might have experienced along the way, and how my perspective may have shifted.
And, now, I am overwhelmed. In a good way.
This was always meant to be a 6 week journey that spanned across the season of Lent + Holy Week (the Christian season of preparation before Easter). If you don’t know or care what Lent is, just hang with me. It will all make sense in a minute.
Lent celebrates the 40 days of wilderness wandering of Jesus. It’s a journey where he experienced coming to know who he is and who is meant to be. Simply stated, was a solitary journey, out in the uncertainty of the harsh desert, of discovering, understanding, accepting, and claiming who he is. And, then, returning to society to live out his life as his true self.
That is the theological/spiritual/symbolic backdrop that inspired me to create these letters to you over the past 6 weeks. So, we, too, could experience a time of discover and understanding and accepting who we are + who we feel we are called to be.
The thing is, this is not the end of the journey. It is only the beginning. It has been a time of wondering, thinking, and exploring ideas about who we are and our unique place in this world. But, there is so much more to come after this as we continue on in life.
For now, I truly hope that, in some way, these past 6 weeks have given you a sense of awakening to who you are + who you are meant to be. I hope that you have felt your soul, heard the whispers of your heart, and begun to understand a little bit of how amazing you truly are – just as you are. And, I hope that, in sitting in the quiet with your soul, you have felt the inspiration + call to create the life that you want to live, that you are called to live.
Because who you are, how you want to live, and what you want to do matters because you matter.
You are one fucking unique human being, with one fucking amazing life that makes one fucking big difference in this world. You are a part of the global family, a beautiful particle of stardust, with very special gifts to offer to the entire cosmos.
Do you think I sound ridiculous? Do you have a hard time believing this? Well, I am so freaking serious about this because I believe it so deeply. Way down to my core.
Knowing who we are, listening to our soul, discovering the life that we want to live, and creating it is not just so we have a happy, peaceful, amazing life. The whole point of it all is to keep becoming who we are; because when we live life as our truest, highest selves, without even meaning to, we sprinkle stardust everywhere we go. In other words, just being ourselves is what really makes a difference.
Living from our souls means that we are fulfilling our purpose here + now. Just as a flower grows and blooms and does nothing else except that, means that it is doing + being exactly what it is meant to be. When we live from our soul + create the life we are called to, we are offering the world who we are + that is exactly how we are meant to live.
It’s so perfect that we end the This Is Me retreat on Good Friday. Whether you believe or celebrate the day or not is irrelevant I think. There is powerful symbolism in closing out this retreat on the day that recognizes the death of Jesus – the day that he fulfilled to his utmost, the calling on his life. That day that he was true to himself… even to the point of death.
Now, my friend, listen to me here: In no way am I saying that we must die in order to live our truest, most authentic lives. But, I am saying that there is a sense of death, of letting go of the life that has been, that we have lived, in order to embrace the new, amazing life that we want to create for ourselves. A life that will bring us deep inner peace and that will spill over so that we make a difference simply by being who we truly are.
The mountains where I lived when I was 33
The best example I can give of this is from my own life:
When I was 33, I decided to turn my life upside down. Essentially to die to my previous life. I had reflected, wandered, wondered, processed, meditated, and written for years about the the kind of life that I felt called to. I dreamed all my big dreams, got in touch with my soul, and one glorious day, I dared to take action.
So, after much consideration, with tons of fear in my bones, but with a deep sense of knowing, I chose to tell my ex-husband that I wanted a divorce. I told my work (which I looooooved) that I would be quitting in 9 months. And then I told my parents + brother + friends that I was moving to Europe. And, after the 9 months was up, I sold + gave away almost all of my possessions, packed one suitcase, and headed to Denmark. No job. No real place to live. And only a few friends to welcome me to the city. Plus, my dear Lina, my best friend at the time, who decided to meet me in Denmark.
Choosing to leave behind my old life and to embrace the calling I felt from my soul was the best thing I’d ever done. It still is. It changed + transformed my life. It set me on the path that I continue on today. The path of living life as my most authentic self. And, because of that, I know that simply being me is all that I ultimately need to do. To follow my soul. To continually reassess and re-create the life that I want to live. Not a life that I just think would be fun, but a life with meaning and purpose every single damn day.
It’s scary as hell to die to your old life. To embrace who you really are. To accept and live life from your soul. But, oh my… It. Is. So. Worth. It.
So, as we say farewell to this 6 week journey, it is with power + grace + courage that we, together, raise our arms high, and say, from deep within our souls, “This Is Me. Take me or leave me. But, this is who I am and this is the life that I feel called to live”. Or at least, “This Is Me and I am ready to explore even deeper who I am + the life that I want to live. This Is Me and I commit to living my life and becoming my best self.”
And, from today on, we continue the journey. We never stop searching, never stop exploring, never stop seeking ways to discover and claim and live the life that we are meant to live. We continue on, one day at a time. Knowing that being who we are + creating the life as we are meant to live, one moment at a time, is what it is all about.
Thank you so very much for joining me on this journey. From my heart, I deeply, humbly thank you. I hope that these 6 weeks have given you tiny little moments to ponder about who you are + how you want to live your life. I know that simply writing to you every week, I have changed + grown + pondered new and wonderful things. So thank you for simply being here. You’re already making a difference.
All my love to you,