for the next 18 weeks (that’s from now until the middle of june!), i will be using the 18 rules of living by the dalai lama as my guide for the wisdom in these wednesday posts. i want to tap into the amazing philosophy of the dalai lama and take a little time to think about each one of the rules, one at a time, letting it all really sink in. perhaps i’ll find a photo to go along with the rule for the week. or write a little anecdote from my life. who knows… i will just let the quote/rule inspire me.
i’m not going to do the 18 rules in the order that you always find them, but instead, i ‘m going to pick numbers out of a bowl or ask someone to choose a number to determine which rule to use that week.
ok.enough of the explanation. time to get on with this week’s quote:
“Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.”
boy, that’s a tough one. i general get all flustered and upset when i don’t get what i want. do you?
like, today. the news across everywhere has been focused intensely and constantly on a snowstorm that is poised to hit the south. it is actually hitting some places already, but i’ve been looking out my window all day long, waiting for the really heavy snow they say is coming to make it to me. i wanted it to snow so badly. i love the snow, and it is so frustrating to me when it doesn’t snow – especially when the news media has hyped us all up about an impending super snowstorm. (i know. first world problems).
but, i realized this afternoon that i was feeling a negative and icky. and i decided to make a change in my attitude. i mean, the snow is not anything that i can control, but i can control my reactions, right? so, i decided to focus on being inside. writing. being cozy. being thankful.
you’ve heard people say that something is a “blessing in disguise” i’m sure. it’s one of those saying that rubs me the wrong way. like someone saying, “it was meant to be” when something bad happens. for me, it’s just not comforting. it may, in fact, be a blessing in disguise, or a stroke of luck, when things don’t go our way, but in the moment it sure doesn’t feel that way. so don’t tell me to just get over it and see the bright side.
hopefully, thought, i am centered enough as a person, that i will feel disappointed/frustrated/pissed off/scared in the moment, and then i will remember to trust the universe and my soul. i will remember that all of the tough moments pass. that they are just moments, and that generally, there is something more amazing waiting for me that i could have never imagined. the tough times will not last. the disappointment will disappear. all i have to do is to breathe and stay centered, and then i will find the strength to keep moving forward, trusting, believing, hoping.
today i was reminded of the fact that last year my love and i planned to go to china for a 2 week vacation. we had our tickets, our hotel, and had even completed the visa process and had them in our passports. but, my love was very sick and we decided, to cancel our trip because it was too risky for her to travel. little did we know that 10 days later, while we would have been on our trip, my love ended up in the hospital. and she stayed there for basically 2 months.
were we disappointed? most definitely! it was a tough moment when we cancelled, and then also when the day rolled around that we would have boarded our plane to fly to asia – a place neither one of us had ever been. but, was it worth it? most definitely!
we couldn’t see it then. we didn’t understand it. it did not feel like luck or a blessing or anything positive to miss out on that trip. but, missing out on something we wanted so badly turned out to be a major defining moment for the beginning of my love’s recovery from anorexia. because we didn’t go, she survived. because we didn’t go, she got help that she really needed right at that moment. we didn’t see how bad it all was. we didn’t understand how everything was going to work out. but, looking back, it was such a great thing (but difficult thing in the moment) that we stayed home.
so, the dalai lama has a point here. and it is a rule that i have actually learned over and over again in my life: a job i didn’t get led to something better. a marriage that ended that soon opened up more opportunities for me. waiting much longer to move to europe than i wanted – i waited 13 years! – made life that much sweeter. and today, that silly little snowstorm that wasn’t materializing. and so much more…
so, here we are. living in our moments. experiencing heartbreak, disappointment, scary times, defeat, and pain. but, if we allow ourselves to just breathe, if we stay present and trust, then we will understand. because i firmly believe that there is always hope on the other side. that light dispels the darkness. and that after winter, there is always spring.
wishing us all patience as we wait it out. one day, we will understand.
peace and love. xx