my work station today. cozy, huh?
yes, it’s saturday. and yes. i’m working. but how bad can it be? i’m in my comfy, cozy apartment. i’m doing something that i love. i’ve got good music to listen to and crunchy celery with peanut butter to chew on (is it weird i like that?!). the only thing i’m missing is my love… who is out picking mushrooms in the woods. too bad i couldn’t go too. but here i am, surrounded by books i love, my computer, and a completely fresh start in front of me.
it’s amazing how much things feel the same, and yet how different they feel at the same time. when i walked to the church and met people there on wednesday (my first day!), something felt really familiar; but i couldn’t help but think of all the days i rode my bike from my host lady’s house to the church in denmark, hoping every day that it would be the day that i would be told that i could work at the church there in odense. however, instead of hearing those words, i had many cups of coffee with my friend, the pastor. i wrote a lot. i thought alot. i discussed theology a lot. and i began thinking about the inevitability of moving back to the states. but, a job never worked out because there wasn’t enough money. disappointing? yes. but that was obviously not the end of the story…
this past wednesday, as i fondly remembered those months in odense (which were exactly 3 years ago), i began to understand that i will absolutely never understand. and i felt so amazed and overwhelmed to be walking to my job. in a church. in sweden. where i now live and am married (thanks to my love & i living in denmark!). how did this happen? i never could have planned it.
ok. enough of being overwhelmed and trying to figure things out. i am aware of and appreciate my journey so far, but now it’s time to get down to business. so, that’s exactly what i’m doing today. pulling out some old books. dusting off the thoughts of creative, meaningful youth ministry in my head, and beginning to think about how to meet these young european brothers & sisters where they are. it sure would be nice to have some of my old materials (which are packed in boxes in the states. thank you, mom & dad, for storing my stuff.) then again, perhaps it’s good to not have access to the old stuff. this is a new place. with new people. and i have a completely different perspective after 3 years. the things that are most important, that are universal, that speak of love & truth, i carry in my heart always. other than that, it’s time to dig in and create a vision. for these people. in this place. it’s time to seek ways to challenge, support, encourage, and inspire the people around me now to discover their true selves and their place in this beautiful (though confusing) world in which we all live. it’s time to begin to pose questions and allow others to seek their own answers for their own journey. it’s time to trust the silent, but ever-present spirit that moves all around us. it’s time.
i’m so excited. i’m so scared. but, i am so ready.
I do dip cheese in red berry jam but celery in peanut butter? Seriously? On another note I’m absolutely convinced that you’ll do great tomorrow. You have a gift of sensing what other people need and your life experience is worth more than a hundred of those books stacked in boxes on the states. Now go and rock that church! X
Nicole, I have to admit that I think that the cheese & jam combo sounds pretty weird… =) And thank you for the vote of confidence! xoxo
I learned to eat cheese sandwiches with jam from the Swedes and have loved it ever since. I am sure it would be just as tasty without the bread.
I love celery and peanut butter! It was the only way I would eat celery as a child. I am so glad everything is working out wonderfully for you. You are filling me with much hope that someday (even if it takes three years) I will be able to reminisce on these rough times and talk about life as joyously as you are today.
Ginger, never give up hope! 🙂 I think that all you have been through lately has inspired your writing in your blog, which in turn inspires others (including me!). One day, as you look back, you will see your journey more clearly. Until then, keep fighting! xx
I pray for you!