if you don’t know, i love to travel. i do have an official case of wanderlust, i believe. i love the feeling of having an unknown adventure ahead of me, of having a plane ticket in my hand & or a map and the open road ahead of me. i love to see new places, people, cultures, customs, and try new food. i love to travel back to places i’ve been before and create new memories. i think it’s part of my belief that we are all connected, no matter where we come from. traveling always reinforces that belief in my soul. traveling refuels me, inspires me, and helps me to live in the present and soak in the moment. i feel like myself when i travel. but, when i stay still, when i’m in the same place for a while, i get a little antsy. confused. and i feel lost. weird, huh? i’m lost when i’m still, and i feel grounded when i’m on the move.
i think that my condition is both good and bad. i love the spontaneity and free-spiritedness of wanderlust. it’s a carefree and open life. but, i also think that at times it is a fear of being still and facing my self, or maybe i just get bored easily. i’ve moved, changed, done new things so much in my life… i know myself when i’m on the move. but, right now in life, i’m faced with getting to know myself again – in a whole other setting/place. i’m not just traveling, i’m being. i’m not a nomad, i’m settling. the adventure is wearing off, and real life is starting. all of this is good. all of this is exactly what i wanted, and i could not be happier to be sharing my life with my love. there is nothing more important. and in the middle of all of this, i am seeking to be true to myself. to find the balance of adding new things (including a language where i cannot yet express myself) to my life and keeping those things that truly define me & touch my soul. yes. it’s a balancing act. and it’s a tough & scary one. but, no matter where i am – whether i’m traveling or just being; my soul, who i am, the things that i am most passionate about… those things never change. it’s not about the place where you are at all. it’s about who you are, wherever you are. it’s about just being you… because you can be used, you will be used, if you just stay true to yourself.
i ran across a great quote/story the other day & thought i’d share it. it’s a little inspiration for all of us to simply be who we are – no matter where we are. it served as a perfect reminder for me.
Nahum of Bratslav said:
“When I appear before the Heavenly tribunal and I am asked, ‘Why did you not lead your people like Moses?’
I shall not be afraid.
‘When I am asked, ‘Why were you not a David who worshiped me and shepherded your people?’
I will be calm.
‘When they query, ‘Why were you not Elijah who spoke the truth and brought forth justice?’
Even then I will not shake.
“Ah, but when they ask, ‘Nahum, why were you not Nahum?’
It is then I will tremble from head to toe!”