one question i will never have to ask: [am i next?]

take your time, dear friends, and let these last words sink in. just listen. and feel.

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John Crawford was holding a toy gun as he stood in the toy section of a Walmart. Before the police shot him to death in that same aisle, John managed to say, “It’s not real.” But it was too late for John.

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Sean Bell was going to get married. One night, he was driving away from his bachelor party with his friends, Joseph and Trent. Suddenly, he hit a minivanFour undercover police officers from the minivan began to shoot at them without warning, firing a total of 50 bullets at the three unarmed men. A wounded Joseph turned to Sean and said, “S, I love you, son.” Sean’s reply: “I love you, too.” Joseph and Trent survived, but their best friend, Sean, didn’t make it.

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One of the witnesses in the Trayvon Martin trial, Rachel Jeantel, was on the phone with Trayvon moments before the scuffle with George Zimmerman that ended his life. One of the last things she heard the unarmed Trayvon say to the man who was following him with a gun that fateful night: “Why are you following me for?”

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Michael Brown died August 2014. Ferguson, Missouri, police officer Darren Wilson shot him at least six times, twice in the head. Michael was not armed. His friend and eyewitness reported that Michael said: “I don’t have a gun. Stop shooting.” Minutes later, he was on the ground, bleeding. Dr. Michael M. Baden, the man who did Michael’s autopsy, told the New York Times, “In my capacity as the forensic examiner for the New York State Police, I would say, ‘You’re not supposed to shoot so many times.'”

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Amadou Diallo died right outside his own apartment in the Bronx. He was unarmed. Four police officers shot 41 bullets, hitting Amadou 19 times. Later, they claimed that they had mistaken Amadou for a serial rapist. That same day, some of the last words he said to his mother as he spoke over the phone were, “Mom, I’m going to college.”

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Eric Garner died July 2014. He was unarmed. Police officers were trying to arrest him for allegedly selling untaxed cigarettes. Eric suffered from asthma, and as a police officer put his arm around Eric’s neck during the arrest, he managed to gasp, “I can’t breathe!” The New York City medical examiner’s office ruled Eric’s death a homicide, pointing out that the officer’s chokehold might have been a big factor.

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Jonathan Ferrell had been in a traffic accident and was knocking on a homeowner’s door for help. He was unarmed. An attorney later described a video of the incident, which reportedly showed that when police officers approached Jonathan, he was holding his hands out in a non-threatening manner. The police officers never identified themselves. One of them fired 12 times, and 10 of those bullets hit him. Even as Jonathan lay on the ground, bleeding and dying from 10 gunshot wounds, the officers handcuffed him. Jonathan’s dead body remained handcuffed all the way to the medical examiner’s office.

Correction: In the case of Jonathan Ferrell, there has not yet been a trial. The case is still pending. And in the video, which has not yet been shown to the public, only one police officer fired on Ferrell, not all three.

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Oscar Grant was on a subway train in Oakland when a police officer forced him out of the car and onto the subway platform. Oscar was lying down when a second police officer shot a bullet into his back. “You shot me! You shot me!” Oscar yelled before he died. That officer later testified that he meant to use his Taser on Oscar instead of his handgun. A court later ruled that the two had no legal reason to get Oscar — who was unarmed — off the train.

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Kimani Gray was standing on a street in Brooklyn when police officers approached him. The officers claimed that when they approached Kimani, he pulled a gun from his waistband and pointed it at them. But one eyewitness, Tishana King, said Kimani never pointed a gun. She also said the police officers didn’t identify themselves when they approached. Police officers shot Kimani at least seven times, even though Kimani hadn’t shot a single bullet. One witness said some of Kimani’s last words were, “Please don’t let me die.”

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Kendrec McDade died after a man called Oscar Carillo made a phony 911 call, telling police officers that he had just been the victim of an armed robbery. He later admitted that he had lied about the guns. The two officers eventually found Kendrec in an alleyway. They began shooting after Kendrec apparently moved his hands to his waistband. But Kendrec didn’t have a gun on him. All he had was a cellphone in his pocket. Court documents show that Kendrec’s last words were, “Why did you shoot me?”


as if all of the images + words above have not truly angered me enough, now i want to share a video. a powerful video. please… take the time to watch it. here is a little insight into why people are protesting around the country, especially in ferguson, missouri after last night’s verdict that there will be no charges for the killing of young michael brown. it’s people trying to make their voices heard. it’s people, young + old, who have to live every day of their lives wondering if the same thing will happen to them.

friends, it is time for a conversation. a real conversation. things cannot continue like this. i am angry. and sad. and embarrassed that such blatant injustice still exists. however, i do not condone violence in any way or in any form. so, the violence occuring surrounding the protests, is not the way to achieve the goal. if only we had martin luther king, jr. to lead us right now. please know, you may disagree with me and you may not think that the people who are protesting should be protesting… that’s fine. all i am saying is this: we need to begin talking about this. and not only talking, but listening. without judging. it’s time to dig deep and honor our humanity. can’t we do that? please?

all of the photos and stories are from an upworthy article that you can find {here}.

spread love + light xx

you are you. and i am me.

quote of the day:

“they say the most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you realize why you were born.” ~ Viola Davis, 2012 Critic’s Choice Best Actress Winner and Academy Award winner.

taking it a step further:

  • FAST from discriminatory behavior today towards other people (no matter where they’re from, who they are, what religion they belong to, political affiliation, or the way they look.)
  • PRAY for the inner strength that comes from knowing who you are and the conviction to pursue your goals no matter what others think.
  • GIVE at least 15 minutes to thinking about a long-term goal and a definitive step you can take toward it this week.

today’s words & challenges have got my brain running around in circles. my thoughts are all over the place, and i haven’t the time to write down everything i’m thinking. so, i’m just gonna spit stuff out…

when i think about discrimination today, i immediately think of the story of trayvon martin, a 17 year old teenager from florida who was murdered in february. why? most likely because he was black. by who? a police officer, nonetheless. seriously. it’s 2012 and discrimination is alive & well. regardless of whether the police officer is guilty of a hate crime or not (and it looks like he is), the outcry from american citizens and the flood of tough questions found all over social media sites points out the truth that discrimination is still around. even today. and that makes me sad. and freaking angry. read this news article to find out more about trayvon’s story.

i could be in danger for being married to a woman were i living in another country that punished or killed people for being in same-sex relationships (not to say that hate crimes against LGBT people don’t happen here or everywhere. they do). but, i have been lucky and blessed so far.

in high school, i was thrown against a wall of lockers by big guys who were not white because my high school was having horrible issues with race relations at one point. there were protests and people refused to go to school, including me after that incident. there was discrimination all over the place that year.

and, of course, i have met some people who questioned my ability to be a minister because either i was a woman, or married to a woman, or both. those people say things like: women should be silent. women can’t be ministers. don’t’ have authority. don’t command respect. can’t be used by God. and, in some churches, women who love women are immediately cast from ministry, regardless of their gifts for ministry; even if they had been in ministry before. like me.

so, yes. i have been affected by discrimination in different ways. i’m sure you all have your own stories too. but, i don’t think i’ve ever been hunted down because i who i am. for most of us, i dare say that being true to ourselves does not involve us putting our lives on the line on a daily basis. or maybe it does & i’m just oblivious. for me, at least at this point in my life, it’s more of an inner struggle with myself. i can’t do anything about the fact that i am a white woman in love with a woman. that’s just me. but, what i can choose, is how i live my life… from my soul, reaching for my goals. or not.

so, today, i’m gonna spend some time thinking about those goals and recommitting myself to one of them. and make a plan to see that goal through. and all along the way, i am going to remember that each of us have our own goals, each of us are unique, and we all (and i mean all!) deserve a chance to listen to our souls, find support & love from people around us, dream big and chase our goals… as we seek to become who we were meant to be.

so, go ahead. start pondering why you were born… what amazing gift do you have to share with the world?

love for all. peace.