corona diaries

I’m officially calling these weekly posts my “Corona Diaries”

4 Apr 2020

It’s the end of my 3rd week of working from home + I have now created a new category for my blog. “Corona Diaries“. That’s right, I am officially calling these weekly posts about my life. during this pandemic the Corona Diaries. I had no intention of having a weekly Covid-19 update, but every weekend I find myself feeling the need to summarize, document, and process the week that has been. So, here I am. And welcome to my official Corona Diaries update for this week.

You can find all of my Covid-19 posts here.

This week the newness of it all wore off. I mean, don’t get me wrong, there is nothing “normal” about anything these days. We’re living in a world with a pandemic for fuck’s sake. And it has changed everything.

For me, personally, it has meant adjusting to the shift from working at school to working from home . It has meant cancelled trips + visits with friends who would have come during this time. It has meant knowing that I have no freaking idea when I will be able to travel to the states again. It has meant finding new routines and not knowing what the future holds. Perhaps the biggest change, though, has been realizing that my wife and I may need to put some very important plans on hold…

photo from our first trip to the reproductive center!

Last autumn, Lina + I began the process to have a baby! We’re still very early in the process, but because of Covid-19, there are no more inseminations happening right now. So, everything is on hold. We so want to share the process with you all, but had been waiting to get a bit further into it before sharing. However, since things are pretty much unknown right now, we might as well mention our plans and hope that all of your vibes + energy will also be with us as we wait. Plus… it’s just so amazing to be able to share it with you now!

Ok, much more about that in other posts to come.

Still, it’s good to share + document that the baby process is weighing heavy on us. Are we excited? Angry? Disappointed? Worried? Confused? We’re all of it. But, this is how it is now. How all of it is, for all of us.

This week I felt myself moving into a new phase. The phase of settling into the fact that the new, uncertain, weird routines were now routine. And this is when it really gets hard. All of the excited, nervous, adrenaline-filled energy of the beginning is gone. Now we’re here. This is it. It is what it is.

It’s a natural phase that is inevitable. But it is hard. It’s also known as the wilderness. The dark night. The hump. The in-between. Between the ending of one way of life + the beginning of something totally new. And it is tough. Because now we are smack in the middle of it. And this is now our reality. It is the new normal. And none of us know how long it will last.

For me, there is only one thing to do now that we find ourselves here. Now, we stay present.

As much as we don’t want to, it’s the only thing we really can do, Longing for the past is futile. Because, it’s gone. Trying to gain control of the future is also futile. It’s totally unknown. The gift that we have is right now. Even in all of its difficulties + challenges + pain + disappointments + boredom.

Right now, the invitation is to focus only on the moment at hand. And to use this time to get to know who we really are. We’ve already been stripped down +taken from our regular routines + everyday lives in many ways. Most of us are at home. Some of you are at work saving lives. But all of us are living in different ways. It’s time now to restructure, reorganize, reprioritize our lives. It time to come home to ourselves. To really drop into our souls + to be present with our selves. To think about who we really are. To deconstruct the old ways and to gently find balance + alignment in the midst of upheaval + uncertainty. So that we will be rooted + ready when it’s time to emerge from all of this.

This is not punishment. This is the cycle of life. And this phase, the tough, challenging “new normal” phase is here to reprioritize our lives. Right now we have access to some deep, introspective time to slowly sink into our true souls. To root down into who we really are so that, when the time comes (and it will!), we can rise up + embody our own medicine meant tp be shared with the world.

We may not believe it, but we are here for a reason. You exist for a reason – and specifically for this time in history. This weird, but now normal phase is a chance, a calling, to learn who we are so that we can share + offer who we are to the world.

The energy is different now that April has begun. It feels to me like it’s time to hunker down + settle in. It’s an unknown time, but not a heavy time. Things are tough + scary + boring. But, we are called to turn inward + root downward. To connect with our souls, with our families, and with the earth. It is time to retreat – to our homes, to what’s really important, to nature, to the magic + inspiration that fills our souls. It’s time to remember all of those things that we forgot about when we ran about our busy lives out there in the world. We have returned home for now. Literally + spiritually.

And, even though the present moment, which is all we have, feels frightening, disappointing, and worrisome, it is where we are right now. And here’s how we make it through:

  • breathe deep
  • create moments of mindfulness (just be aware)
  • practice silence every single day (2-5 minutes is fine)
  • get still
  • feel what you feel. really. feel it all. the grief, the fear, the worry, the anger, the calm, the gratitude. feel it all. ride those waves of emotions. we all have them.
  • write it out (read my Corona Diaries here).
  • get creative + inspired
  • dance
  • cook
  • go outside + see how nature is our steady companion through it all
  • do those simple things that you enjoy

For me, these Corona Diaries are just one of the ways that I am finding balance + calm in this absolutely unknown + confusing time. Processing my thoughts, sharing my feelings, finding the deeper meanings, expressing a message of hope, creating art with words + images… these things keep me grounded + inspired + anchored. They also keep me diving deeper + deeper into my own soul… perhaps guiding me to new ways that I am being called to live, both in the midst of this new normal, in-between time + also how I will be called to show up, emerge, and offer my own medicine in the life that will be born + created somewhere down the line.

For now, I remain where I am. I accept it. I feel it all. And I commit myself to simply taking it all one day at a time.

Sending you so much love. Stay safe. xoxo. liz.

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