this past weekend i hibernated at home mostly. something that i absolutely must do every now and then. ok, ok. i want to hibernate at home more often than i want to admit. but, i chalk that up to my introverted nature. i mean, a meditating vacation + pilgrimage to india sounds like heaven to me. but, so does a road trip across europe or the states.
oh, sure, i am a people person – as in i love meeting people, traveling + experiences different cultures, and challenging myself to put myself out there as much as possible. so, somewhere along the way, somehow, someday, i learned the art of balancing my introverted nature with the extroverted actions needed to follow my bliss. but, my inner soul is an old soul, yearning to sit with a cup of coffee, or a glass of wine, reading, writing, meditating, pondering, chatting, just being. this is when i feel the most connected to myself + to the world.
so, ultimately, i crave time alone. i need it like we need air to breathe. and by time alone, i mean it in three different ways: time spent truly all by myself, time spent only with my wife, and time spent with one or two friends/clients/students/co-workers. this is where i thrive. on the other hand, i also thrive when speaking in front of people, telling stories, inspiring + challenging them. i know. i’m a bit of a mixed-up, both/and kind of person.
but, at the end of the day, for all of the time that i spend with people, i need to be by myself. i need to find some solitary moments every single day to check in with myself, to remind myself what is important in life, to listen to my soul, to reflect and dream and plan. my alone time helps to keep me centered and aware and present. i’m like a living, breathing labyrinth journey. daily walking the path into the center of the labyrinth in order to be alone. and then walking back out again, ready to engage the world. my alone time is my reset button. my reminder of who i am + who i want to be.
this weekend, in the midst of all of my cozy time reading, writing, and vegging in front of the tv, i also had some time to soak up the presence of others. one tiny little part of a conversation a stuck with me. it was about dreams. someone told me that they don’t have dreams. they have never really thought about it. this is something, i realized in that moment, that i take for granted.
doesn’t everybody dream?
yes, i believe so. but, i believe we bury our dreams deep inside us. then, especially as we grow older, we forget about them. or we assume that our dreams are silly and impossible. we completely empty our brains of the thoughts that dreams are a part of life. it’s not that we become cold or hard or bitter, we just move on. we just keep doing what we do. and dreams become irrational fairy tales.
somehow, because of some of the things that have happened to me/i chose to make happen (i.e. the break-up of my first marriage, quitting my job, leaving my home country), i opened myself up to the dreams that i had years ago. or, perhaps, my introverted, carefree, idealistic nature never let those dreams go. whatever the reason, i made a conscious decision to do everything that i can to make my dreams come true. and i mean that i literally, consciously said to myself that i refused to let myself grow old and be that person who looked back on her life saying, “i wonder what it would have been like to…” or “i wonder if i had done…”. yes, i literally consciously had a moment when i decided that those questions would never, ever be a part of my life. no way was i going to fill my one, short life with anything less than magical moments, adventures, and love. and in that moment, anything became possible. dreams became goals. i realized that there are no hinders, no problems, no impossibilities. only solutions.
however, also in that moment, i had no idea what my dreams were. really.
and now, seven years later, i realize that dreams evolve and change. and, when you realize one dream, another one appears. or, perhaps one dream you had morphs into something completely different. or, you dreamed one thing, and it turned out to look completely different than you had planned. it’s not always easy to hammer down what our dreams are.
and, that’s why i love being alone. that’s why i need to spend time alone.
i need to let myself dream and wonder and be in awe. it’s not about living for the future, but it is about living in the present and feeling what your soul is saying to you right then and there.
but, when my alone time is over, then it’s time to get out there + make those dreams happen, always returning back to myself to check in and listen to my soul again. remember, the labyrinth thing?
yes, we are all wired differently. some of us love the attention and energy of being around crowds of people. and some of us love the quiet, solitary moments alone. most of us are somewhere in between. but, all of us need both. it is a balancing act. and we all teeter one way more than the other. the challenge is to let ourselves spend some time alone or push ourselves out into the world. both places are where we find inspiration. we hear our soul and we encounter the souls of others. and this, in the middle this balancing act, is where dreams are born. dreams that most definitely, with a little bit of openness, trust, and a whole lot of work, can be made a reality.
all we gotta do first is believe.
onwards + upwards!! xx
do you take the time to dream? what are your dreams right now in life? share them with me – and i’ll cheer you on!