i am so tired of waking up and dreading my walk to school, knowing that every day is the same, boring, uneventful day with students who seem to not want to have any contact with each other.
i don’t know what happened or why, but today, when i entered my class everyone seemed to be smiling & talking. what?! had i entered the wrong classroom or come at the wrong time? no, it was my class. so, i walked over to the table where i sit and, just as i do every morning, i smiled and greeted the iraqi woman who sits beside me. “god morgon”. and she responded to me with a smile, a chuckle, and “god morgon” back. huh?! that never happens! it’s usually silent until she needs to look at my papers and copy my answers. how cool to start the morning with a smile & a hey! i must have been feeling so surprised and so good that before i knew it, i had turned around and asked a pregnant syrian woman behind me how she was doing (she’s about to pop!) and we had a really nice conversation just before class started. later on, my teacher complimented my accent by saying that i don’t have an american (or any) accent when i speak in swedish. super cool!! then my classmates voted me to be their representative for a school meeting today. say what? i didn’t even think they knew my name. now, all of this added together left me asking… “how?! why?!” i have tried to reach out in that class before. not much luck with that. and day after day, the class seems to last for freaking ever. it’s boring and the teachers have been unreliable in some ways. but, today, everyone was feeling friendly and funny. it was crazy! i have no idea why, but i’ll take it! finally… an enjoyable day! yeeesssss.
perhaps some days just happen to turn out this way. perhaps it’s the stars and the moon. or better yet, perhaps it was my attitude. i spent 15 minutes in silence this morning. just me, a candle, and some quiet music. it was so calming. i thought about nothing except the fact that everything that i need is within me. everything any of us need, we already have. and each day, all i need to do is try to be true to myself, to tap into the light that is within me and to acknowledge the light that is within others.
days like today are few and far between. but, perseverance and endurance gets me through from one day like this to the next – even if there are many, many ordinary days in between. and beginning my day with some silence definitely prepares me for whatever i may face.
wishing you a wonderful, peaceful day filled with surprises.
my other little surprise today: plenty of leaves on the trees!
Igår hade jag en dag som, efter en orolig natt med lite sömn, kändes tung och jobbig. Som jag för det mesta
brukar göra, så bad jag för dagen i bilen till jobbet. Mot slutet av dagen hade jag ett mycket givande samtal med en vänlig och klok kvinna som tog bort all oro som jag känt under nattens mörka timmar. Jag sov riktigt gott i natt och dagen idag har varit en bra dag med flera goda, samtal med människor som jag i mitt arbete ska stötta och finnas till för. Det märkliga är att i dessa möten får jag så mycket tillbaka, både tacksamhet och värme, men framför allt lär jag mig så mycket om livet och om att vara människa. Det är verkligen en rikedom.
Britt: bra att du hade lite inspiration också! tack så mycket för din historia! ses imorgon ikväll?! kram.
or perhaps the seeds of friendliness you have been planiting have started to germinate. Congratulations on the compliment on your lack of American accent!!! It helps that you hang around with real Swedes (as not all immigrants have that opportunity), but that doesn’t mean it’s a given just because of that. Nice work, good listening, and good attitude of thinking it is important to fit into your environment.
Barb: yes, i am so blessed and lucky to have all the support around me! i am completely aware of the fact that others do not have the same access to swedish people and swedish society as i do. i do not take it for granted! and, thanks for your support too!