reclaiming december // a dark new moon is just the beginning

f*uck it. let’s just do this already.

things have been changing and crazy and tough and beautiful for the past 3 years. whatever was started during the holidays of 2012 is coming to a close now. there are clear bookends.

in the new age/astrological/spiritual world, 2012 was the beginning of something, a great time of change, which would end right about now. and, amazingly, if i look at my life… that rings oh so very true.

the beginning (2012)

this time three years ago, lina and i were living in sweden and we desperately needed a change. so, we started planning a move to the states. lina had applied to study graphic design, and we were smack in the middle of a dreaming away how our life was going to change and be amazing as we gathered together everything we needed in order to leave sweden behind and live in the heart of asheville, north carolina – a place that we were completely drawn to (and had lived in before). it was the city of our souls. it felt like a new beginning was on the horizon and we were just about burst with excitement.

the asheville years (2013-2014)

we did make that move to asheville in mid-2013, just 6 months after deciding that that was our dream. and we lived an amazing, inspiring, creative, freeing, soul-filling year and a half there. we loved it more that i could ever describe or say. we had so many  incredible friends around us filling our days and nights. we connected deeply with my brother, spending at least 3 evenings each week with him. we enjoyed the ability to see my parents whenever we wanted. we had more craft beer than we could ever ask for. we had the magical, ancient mountains around us. and we had a cozy, beautiful home. in many ways, it was a perfect time in our life.

it was a time of peace. but, not a time to settle down. we lived a dream life, but something about it was not real. it was “too good to be true”. but, it was exactly what we needed and deserved. and we truly soaked it up, lina learning and becoming a graphic designer. me, finally dropping into my currently spirituality and practicing the life of a writer + photographer.

onwards + upwards in sweden (2015)

and, then, this time last year, we decided to move back to sweden. it broke our hearts to leave this utopia that we had created. but, we knew, we trusted, that it was right.

so, filled with all sorts of emotions, and with heavy, heavy hearts, in the beginning of 2015, we moved to uppsala. it was truly one of those things that we knew was right, but we knew it wouldn’t be easy. and it most definitely has not been easy. and yet, something about it has been beautiful at the same time.

lina began to work full-time as a graphic designer, which she loved. but, she found herself dealing with old ghosts and facing this eating disorder that she has been dragging around with her for years. but, thankfully, she was able to start to get some help. such an amazing thing, but such a tough journey.

and me… i began to try to figure out something. what i wanted to do. how i would live the life that i knew was possible.  i knew that i could not just settle for anything as my work. i had learned to live from my soul in asheville. it had been an important transition time for me, to teach me that more is possible. so, this year, much that i had learned about trusting, being, breathing, living from my soul was put into real practice for the first time. and i began taking control of my life in a whole other way than before. it was half waiting + trusting, and half making shit happen.

the beginning again

now, today, as 2015 comes to a close, a certain period of life for lina and me also comes to a close. what was begun in the end of 2012, a period of exploration of who we are, and the kind of life that we want, is over. and simultaneously, a new period is also just beginning.

especially with my love…. in many ways, she “simply” continues this fight that she has begun. and oh what a tough, exhausting fight it is. but, she is moving forward. she is trying so hard. and, as this year comes to a close, i believe that she has decided that she is committed to this process. she knows what she needs. and she knows what she wants.

for me, though, this is the ending of period of discovering who i am, after 8 years of exploration and transforming and growing. i know this more deeply than i know anything right now.

it is time to move on. a whole new beginning is on the horizon. there is no more need to work on discovering and uncovering and exploring all that i have been working on in the past years.

now, is the time to get moving. to manifest.

today’s new moon, the last of 2015, is here to inspire me (us) to get going. 

it is dark. very very dark right now. the nights are oh so long. daylight only lasts for a few hours up here in sweden. and, today, there is no moon to be seen, though she is there, just hidden. so we are wrapped up in darkness and silence and cold. literally. of course, there is also quite a bit of figurative darkness swirling around the world and in our individual lives right now as well.

but, oh what potential there lies in that. (remember what i said about what darkness really is?)

so, right now, today, is the time to breathe. to dig deep and find our courage. to embrace the dark and listen for just a minute. but, not too long.

because this is not the time for soaking up. this is the time for action. for committing and beginning the next phase of our journey in life. it’s a whole new road, a whole new path, a whole new pilgrimage. 

and, we, i, all of us, have so much to say. so much to share. so much to create. so much to do. i can literally feel that it is time. each of us are here for a purpose. each of us have something amazing to offer this world. we are needed. exactly who we are is someone very special, with something very unique to share with the world.

all that has happened in the past is starting to make sense right now. perhaps we have discovered much about who we are and how we want to live. and we are becoming secure and certain in that. perhaps we have just begun that journey, or are even in the middle of it. no matter where we are, though, now, it is time to live it. to embrace it. to share it. to teach it. we, you and i, have something to say. and we have an amazing life to live.

it is time to live completely differently than we have in the past.

it is time to step into the future that has been waiting all along. the future that we have been called to. the future that has been deep within our souls, that makes us feel alive, that is our bliss. now is the time to live it.

for me, the asheville years were about dropping into who i was. about shedding much of the past, much of what i thought i was supposed to do, about having the gift of time to explore and discover who i wanted to be. this past year has been about becoming who i am, so that i can finally live the life i am meant to. a life that is on fire.

tonight’s new moon is telling me, like she is telling you… just do it. now is the time to follow our hearts. to live the life that makes our soul sing, and in turn, creates peace, love, and inspiration in every part of our life. it is time to let our lives overflow with all that we have to share and offer. time to embrace who we are and dare to live our life exactly as we want.

let’s just f*ucking do it.

// as always, if you want to talk or process your own journey, i’m here to listen. just leave a comment or send me an email >>> liz {at} belovelive {dot} com. //

new moon blessings to you. xoxo

 

 * thanks to the words + insights of kate rose for inspiring me to write this post