hello, my lovely september!! as much as i love the spring & summer months in all of their blue skies and warm sun glory, i must admit that i am a sucker for all things fall. and while the official start of fall is in a few weeks, the month of september ushers in the change of the seasons for me. warm august nights, hot, sunny days, and vacations are now a thing of the past. today we step into the beginning of the cozy season of fall – drenched with warm, gold, orange, red, and brown colors. the sun begins to shine through the leaves with a golden glow. the skies become a deeper blue. the air loses it’s weight and becomes cool & crisp. it’s soon time to pull out some sweaters and to wrap ourselves in fuzzy blankets. yes, september has arrived and time keeps on passing…
it’s amazing how quickly time passes, and how, when you look back, things seem to fall into place. or at least make some sense. life is most always difficult in the moment, but when time passes, we can look back with understanding eyes and see how the circle of life touches each of us.
yesterday i walked to my first day of work in a little over a year. and my first day of work in a church in a little over 3 years. my how time flies, when i think about it. oh, how i spent the last 3 years loving the freedom of discovering who i am, then wishing that i could find a way back into the church, then hoping i never set foot in a church again, and then finally accepting that working from within the church is one way i can help to bring about change. my journey has led me from the tiny nc mountain town of canton full of humble, kind, supportive people; to the sabbath-time spent writing and just being (and falling in love!) in odense, denmark; to the challenging & fun ministry of working in a high school with troubled teens (and interesting, inspiring co-workers!) in asheville, nc; to spending a year making a new life with my love in sweden, learning a new language, and being a 36 year old intern; to today: walking down the streets of norrköping, armed with my new swedish skills and my passion for youth work, to my new job.
throughout these years, and all of these experiences, i’ve had tons of questions, not so many answers, lots of fears, a crapload of stubbornness, and an ever-growing sense of who i am and who i am meant to be. i had no idea where the road would take me, and i have no idea what lies ahead. but, what i know with certainty is that life is now, that the questions will be answered, that things will make sense. but, only in time.
yes, my dear september is here. fall is right around the corner. and time keeps moving on. fall will quickly pass too, you know. so, my plan is to soak up every single moment as it comes. the questions will pop up, the fear of what comes next will rise again, the confusion will creep back in. but, i will remind myself that, in time, all things work for good. all things. i believe that from my soul.
so, i’m gonna leave you, my dear friends & family, with a quote i found today. i wish for you love, joy, and inspiration. and i send out blessings to all of you wherever you are on your journey in life. may your soul be like an overflowing cup of peace.
I want to beg you, as much as I can, to be patient toward all that is unresolved in your heart
and to try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue.
Do not seek the answers, which cannot be given to you because you would not be able to live them.
And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now.
Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.
– Rainer Maria Rilke