i need a little break from my ireland posts so i can slide in this little post about breathing. yoga. time for yourself. i went to my yoga class tonight, just sure that i’d not be able to relax, focus, and meditate because i have so much on my mind. there were some tough moments today, one of them including finding out that i am “welcome” to be present in one place, but not “worthy”, or enough of a person to be a leader. why, you ask? because i am married to a woman. never mind the fact that i am highly educated, experienced, and have gifts/talents i can use. never mind that i am a teacher and a minister (though not ordained, of course. hmpf.). never mind all of those things. all of the things that qualify me to be a leader are null & void simply because of who i love.
that attitude, those thoughts, the people who set those boundaries & rules, make me sick. no. more than making me sick, they break my heart. and, even though i am strong and i will just keep right on doing what i do, not letting anyone stop me (if i’m not wanted in one place, i will keep working/fighting until i find a place where i am appreciated – thankfully the church where i work is unbelievably supportive & caring), even though i am all of those things. it still hurts.
and all that negativity was bottled up inside of me when i went to my yoga class. i knew that yoga would be good for me, but i still didn’t think i’d be able to concentrate.
boy was i wrong. and, boy was yoga exactly what i needed. it was a perfect balance of rest, deep breathing, tough poses, and major stretches to allow me time to find some inner peace & challenges to keep me fighting. i was in such pain in my body during some of the moments tonight, and i knew it was a manifestation of my emotions, so i fought through the pain, working to release it from me, and instead find a place of balance & strength within.
so, i have promised myself something. tomorrow, i am going to do yoga at home – a few of the poses/meditations we did tonight. i’m gonna make time to just breathe.
goodnight, friends. namaste.