culture lbgtqai+ meditation

sometimes you just need to breathe.

5 Sep 2012

 i need a little break from my ireland posts so i can slide in this little post about breathing. yoga. time for yourself. i went to my yoga class tonight, just sure that i’d not be able to relax, focus, and meditate because i have so much on my mind. there were some tough moments today, one of them including finding out that i am “welcome” to be present in one place, but not “worthy”, or enough of a person to be a leader. why, you ask? because i am married to a woman. never mind the fact that i am highly educated, experienced, and have gifts/talents i can use. never mind that i am a teacher and a minister (though not ordained, of course. hmpf.). never mind all of those things. all of the things that qualify me to be a leader are null & void simply because of who i love.

that attitude, those thoughts, the people who set those boundaries & rules, make me sick. no. more than making me sick, they break my heart. and, even though i am strong and i will just keep right on doing what i do, not letting anyone stop me (if i’m not wanted in one place, i will keep working/fighting until i find a place where i am appreciated – thankfully the church where i work is unbelievably supportive & caring), even though i am all of those things. it still hurts.

and all that negativity was bottled up inside of me when i went to my yoga class. i knew that yoga would be good for me, but i still didn’t think i’d be able to concentrate.

boy was i wrong. and, boy was yoga exactly what i needed. it was a perfect balance of rest, deep breathing, tough poses, and major stretches to allow me time to find some inner peace & challenges to keep me fighting. i was in such pain in my body during some of the moments tonight, and i knew it was a manifestation of my emotions, so i fought through the pain, working to release it from me, and instead find a place of balance & strength within.

so, i have promised myself something. tomorrow, i am going to do yoga at home – a few of the poses/meditations we did tonight. i’m gonna make time to just breathe.

goodnight, friends. namaste.

(Post visit: 16, Today: 1 )

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  • Reply Laura4NYC 6 Sep 2012 at 03:25

    You are speaking the words that are going on in my soul! I have been hesitant to attend a philosophy class in the UES (because of the price, attendance time and length of class) but after reading your post I think I am gonna give it a shot. I wanna have the same peace in mind and I believe the class would give me that.

    I am sorry stupid people ticked you off. I know that sort. They kiss a** just to get ahead of others but in the end their own stupidity and small mindedness is just going to make them fall.It’s gotta be. Karma will help!

    • Reply liz 7 Sep 2012 at 11:10

      Do it! Take that class, I have a feeling it would be amazing. You’re so right about other people, and avoiding all that negativity, letting it bounce right off of me, is exactly what my yoga class does for me. It helps me to soak up positive energy & refocus. Wishing you peace, too, my dear.

  • Reply Katie 6 Sep 2012 at 08:15

    That yoga class looks and sounds amazing. Maybe I’ll look for one here in Lkpg, too, I miss that peaceful feeling after a good class.
    I’m sorry to hear about your struggles 🙁 You are still reaching people, inspiring and doing great work, despite those (people, opinions) that hold you back. In two languages, too! (A sermon in Swedish, holy cow. Awesome!) I’d say it reflects far more poorly on them, than you. Here’s to hoping that things change for the better, soon 🙂

    • Reply liz 7 Sep 2012 at 11:02

      It is a wonderfully amazing class, and I am so glad I found it. Yes, find yourself one, and get some of that peace.:) Thank you for your words of support! I truly appreciate it.

  • Reply CarlyBeth's Blog 6 Sep 2012 at 18:22

    I am sorry, Liz :'(

    I am surprised – It seems like a yoga class would be more accepting than a church would. Must be that the intructors are personally homophobic. GRRR!! Those sort of small-minded, ignorant, hateful people who refuse to grow beyond their fears make me so LIVID! To say that we are “wrong” for being who we are is like saying: “It’s okay for us (heteros) to be in blissful true love but as for you pervs, you need to do something about those deviant feelings”. GRRR!!!!!

    I’m telling you, a cabin in the woods is sounding more and more appealing. Damn haters!

    • Reply liz 7 Sep 2012 at 11:00

      Yes, I dream about that cabin the the woods all the freaking time. Sounds perfectly divine. It wasn’t the yoga class that was ful of small-minded judging people.. it was a group of fellow ministers, of course. My yoga class saved me & gave me some peace. I just thought I’d never have a chance to actually get into my yoga stuff with everything on my mind. But, it was amazing, and helped me leave those feelings behind.

      We’ll keep fighting the fight together!

      • Reply CarlyBeth's Blog 7 Sep 2012 at 17:02

        Ah, I had to go back and read… Now I see where I got confused lol. Keep your head up and remember all the friends and family you support you 🙂

  • Reply Tracy 7 Sep 2012 at 14:34

    Now Liz,

    “They” are dealing from whatever has been “parroted” back to them- no questions asked (even if it flies in the face of justice & kindness).

    You ought to know…you are dealing from the heart & soul? You ARE correct. You & Lina- are a beautiful & valid couple- who ought not have to fight for your position & for your caring & love.

    The fact that other people enjoy rights denied to you (in many countries) is shameful.

    You go girl!

    T 😉

  • Reply answertothecall 13 Sep 2012 at 03:56

    I feel your pain. I feel so blessed to be at Iliff. It’s such an amazingly open and accepting place! There are people from all kinds of faith backgrounds there, including those who are “searching” and self-proclaimed “Godless.” One woman I met said she actually felt like the minority sometimes being a straight, white, United Methodist. ha! Seriously though, it’s an amazing place! I hope the UMC (and the rest of the world) learns a thing or two from Iliff!

    So glad you have yoga to turn to! I find my peace in nature (having the Rocky mountains right here sure helps!) and poetry. It’s so important to have those centering activities/places!

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