i have written the first page of my book. it may not seem like a lot, but if you’re like me, then you know the overwhelming feeling of just starting something. after you begin, things begin to come together much easier (hopefully). i’m also a professional procrastinator to the max, which adds to my inability to get things moving. but, when i finally do, then i’m in the groove and it feels like all the timing has been perfectly planned out. in fact, sometimes i believe that i just need things to soak into me before i can express them. when it’s time, it just begins to come out. and so it was with my first page… it just came. so, i’m on my way now. on this journey of writing, for forever how long it takes to get “it” all out, to say whatever it is that i need to say.
i’m still overwhelmed, though, and i have many worries. like, am i going to be disciplined enough? how long will this take? what do i do next? is this even possible?
but, then i found some words that reminded me to stay calm. in any situation, in the midst of any fears or doubts, in middle of uncertainty, in the emptiness of despair, disappointment, and just regular ‘ole blahs… i found this when i lit my candle and began to read a little this morning:
“and these words: you will not be overcome, were said very insistently and strongly, for certainty and strength against every tribulation which may come. [God] did not say: you will not be assailed, you will not be belaboured, you will not be disquieted, but [God] said: you will not be overcome.God wants us to pay attention to [these] words, and always to be strong in our certainty, in well-being and in woe, for [God] loves us and delights in us.” ~ julian of norwich, 13th century
sometimes i just get caught up in my own shit. thinking all about me, worrying all about me, feeling sorry, scared, confused about me. everything becomes about me. and i forget everyone around me. it’s so good to read some comforting words that remind me that, come what may, all will be well. with that reminder, i can let go of my selfish needs and begin to focus on others instead.
with that said, i feel cleansed. a bit more free & ready to tackle the tasks (and joys) that lie ahead of me on this day. whether it be writing, or cleaning, or comforting, or whatever… because of a few moments of quiet, i found inspiration and a bit more balance in my soul for this day. mmm…
sending you peace… come what may.