i had a post all written out and ready to go with my photos from this past week. i was thinking + writing mostly about how nothing really happened last week. just that it was dark. and getting darker.
after finishing my post, i saved it and took a shower. while i was letting the hot water warm my cold bones, i suddenly felt all alone. not in a bad way, in a good way. alone with just my self. you’d think that those moments come when i meditate, but sometimes meditation just leads me to feeling energy (which is good) or a connection to a higher purpose. but, in the shower, as i was simply there all by myself, i felt my Self. or i felt that higher being.
this is so hard to put into words… i just felt the ground of my being. connected. loved. good. unique. at peace. beautifully alone. beautifully me.
and, as i felt this, i just let the water baptize me in that feeling of wholeness.
soon, as i was filled with this pure peace, little things from the past week began to come to me. it had not just been dark out. there were moments that were tiny little moments of alignment all throughout the week. and, had i not had this shower, i would not have recognized them… because the extraordinary is most always wrapped up in the ordinary.
just when i felt that i had nothing to say, that the darkness was beginning to get to me, that somehow everything seemed boring, my soul reminded me of the teensy weensy moments that meant the world to me. while i thought that all i was doing last week was snuggling, drinking insane amounts of coffee, and venturing out and about a little, my heart revealed to me that, while i did those things, there was also much, much more that happened.
a reminder for me, that even when there doesn’t seem like much is going on, there is a lot going on. and simply living life, trying to be aware and intentional, creates moments + opportunities that might seem ordinary, but are much, much more than that. and, that by simply being who we are, we are creating a way for our lives to actually make a difference in the world. because when we just keep plugging on, living our daily lives, the universe will open and life will look ordinary + normal, but we will become extraordinary peacemakers and lovers.
last week, i did have profound moments that i almost dismissed as regular encounters. i suppose that it all has to do with our attitudes and perspectives. part of living an intentional, abundant, amazing life is actually believing that life is intentional, abundant, and amazing. some weeks we just don’t feel that, though. last week, i didn’t feel it as i was living it. but, thanks to my shower and my focus on simply being present in the moment, i did not let the week slip by without giving a second thought to all of the amazingness that was hidden in the midst of my everyday moments.
but you know what? those most amazing moments, those connections with people, they are not reflected in these photos at all. these photos are of the mundane, but beautiful, moments that i used to keep me in the present moment. these are the things that ground me: meditation, nature, love from friends far away, the vibe of the city, coffee, saturday mornings, sky gazing.
what i didn’t photograph was…
// the amazing, powerful support group i attended with other people who are living with family members with an eating disorder.
// the meeting i had that may offer me a new opportunity to tap into a deep part of who i am and the life that i am creating.
// the moment that my love and i had peppermint mochas at a café for the first time in over two months (a challenge for my love). so proud of her by the way! (you can read her excited thoughts about this experience >>> here).
// the teenage boy who almost fainted in mcdonald’s, dropped his food all over the floor, and ended up sitting at my table with me (yes. i visited mcdonald’s because sometimes i need an american fix!). turns out, he hadn’t eaten all day. and as we sat there, we chatted a bit. he began to share some of his current life situation with me. he’s a foster kid, missing his family, who live in another city. he just needed love. he just needed an ear. he just needed a moment to connect with someone. and i just needed to be reminded of how much i still love working with teenagers. he asked me what my job was, and as i explained my history (teacher/minister/life coach), he said he knew it. he knew i’d worked with young people. sweet young man. he stole my heart in the 30 minutes that we spent together. i walked out with him, helped him figure out what time the his bus left the station, and then we embraced before going our separate ways. how can one’s heart be so full + completely broken all at the same time? (side story: when i told lina about this, we decided – and we have talked about this a lot before – that, when we have our own place and things are more stable in our lives, then we will become foster moms.)
these little moments were the big moments that i almost forget. i almost let the week go by without recognizing the amazing beauty and inspiration that pops up everywhere, and all of the time.
oh, i am so glad that i didn’t miss it.
Wow, you want to foster – sorry that’s the bit that’s so striking out at me in your whole post! It doesn’t surprise me I guess given your kinship with young people and teaching ways, but wow, yep, big step.
I have never been within the foster system, but I know a lot about it as my grandparents have fostered literally hundreds of kids. My grandad passed away earlier this year at just turning 90 and the church was PACKED with the millions of people who’s lives they’ve touched… but then, there is a harder side to fostering also – the invasion from social, the unknown of where/what has brought these poor kids up before them… it’s tough. And the more that certain things are happening now in my family with some people, the more I am certain of DNA being a true part of a person’s being. Total digression aside – I’m sure it would suit you and Lina – but it is a big step. Hope you don’t mind my very frank comment here, just things I can’t go into to explain this better.
I love your comment, Holly. And I love that you shared your thoughts, both supportive and thoughtful. It is a big decision, something we’ve talked about before, and something we must revisit in a few years. There is so much to consider, and I may just need to hear from you again later on to remind me of some of the tough things. 🙂
Awww.. I loved your story about the kid at McDonalds. It gave me the feels. hehe. You two would be amazing foster moms. The thing you described in the shower where all the special moments came back – love when that happens. When you go about your routine life can become dry but if you take a break and reflect (sometimes unintentionally like your experience) then you feel restored and assured of life’s bigger meaning. Also, it’s funny because I recently read that some of the best insights happen in the shower because the calm and sensory-rich environment creates mindfulness. It might have even been a TED Talk. Here’s to another week of magic moments! <3
So glad you loved the McD’s boy story! 🙂 Thanks so much for your vote of confidence too. How interesting about the shower thing – actually, I have felt that connection off and on throughout life in the shower. It’s definitely only once a year or so, but it is so powerful. Hope you are having a magical week! xoxo
What a wonderful reminder to live in the moment and soak up everything, particularly the little things.
Before I started blogging, I missed a lot of the small, special moments. Co-workers would ask me after a day off what I did, and I would shrug, not being able to think of anything. With blogging came an increased awareness of the beautiful, small things that happen to all of us on a daily basis. We just have to learn to look for them and to appreciate them.
Your week sounds wonderful, and that encounter with the boy? Pure magic.
I love how a greater power makes these encounters happen, showing us what we are meant to be doing.
Oh you are so right Miriam! Blogging has been such a catalyst for me too – a chance to slow down each day, reflect, and learn how to rally be present in my life. It was most definitely a magical week, and I feel so blessed to have felt that power in my soul.
this realy sounds like a special week to me. Your shower seems to be a magic place :). Working in a childrens home I see so many children and teenager who need someone who is taking care, loving, sharing moments, giving time. To know that someone like you and Lina is willing to take care of a child or teenager lets me hope for better times for at least some of them. <3
It really was, Gesine. So special and so magical. Every day is such a gift – how can we not do all that we can to help?! x0
Very cool post, Liz. I love that you were able to find the divine in the midst of those seemingly ordinary moments! Something that I try to do as well, with varying success. 🙂
That story about the boy at McDonald’s is so wonderful! It’s so perfect that you happened to be there at the right time to be that listening ear and support for him. And I love that you and Lina are hoping to become foster moms… it sounds like an amazing fit for you both (once things get settled). That’s such a powerful way to make an impact on the lives of young people.
Absolutely. In a few years, we will reassess how we feel about fostering and then see the best way we can make a difference in children/teens lives. 🙂
Struggling with my health, my life has become so small and quiet. Sometimes as everyone talks of goals and events and activities and passions, I wonder how I can feel so content in a llife in which I count forward movement by each knot that unwinds from a muscle and each set of days when I feel better. I love your reminder that life doesn’t have to be big or grand in order for each moment to be satisfying. I certainly hope that health will one day be my norm again and life will maybe have more elements but I’m actually not unhappy as I can feel okay in each moment and I know I’m slowly moving toward wellness. These small moments of tuning in, of doing the exercises that help my muscles, of thinking and writing, etc. are, moment by moment, enough.
Oh, Leigh,thank you so much for sharing your journey toward healing and how it has helped to teach you about the present moment. What an inspiration you are.
I read this post yesterday and I’ve been thinking about it since, Liz. That feeling of standing there, you entirely in yourself both connected and wholly contained, is one I’ve never heard described before by anyone. And to describe it as being followed by the flood of recognition of what is/was that makes sense of everything, that changes your perspective, gives it all meaning/fits it all into the narrative, just kind of blew my mind to read. I know the power of those moments too and I’m so happy you had one now. It does sound like you had a week filled with the significant, filled with important steps and meaningful encounters, and thankfully you had that sudden awareness to let it all soak in (no shower pun intended) and to recognize some of the deeper meaning and implications of some of the events that occurred. Love to you. xoxo