i had a post all written out and ready to go with my photos from this past week. i was thinking + writing mostly about how nothing really happened last week. just that it was dark. and getting darker.
after finishing my post, i saved it and took a shower. while i was letting the hot water warm my cold bones, i suddenly felt all alone. not in a bad way, in a good way. alone with just my self. you’d think that those moments come when i meditate, but sometimes meditation just leads me to feeling energy (which is good) or a connection to a higher purpose. but, in the shower, as i was simply there all by myself, i felt my Self. or i felt that higher being.
this is so hard to put into words… i just felt the ground of my being. connected. loved. good. unique. at peace. beautifully alone. beautifully me.
and, as i felt this, i just let the water baptize me in that feeling of wholeness.
soon, as i was filled with this pure peace, little things from the past week began to come to me. it had not just been dark out. there were moments that were tiny little moments of alignment all throughout the week. and, had i not had this shower, i would not have recognized them… because the extraordinary is most always wrapped up in the ordinary.
just when i felt that i had nothing to say, that the darkness was beginning to get to me, that somehow everything seemed boring, my soul reminded me of the teensy weensy moments that meant the world to me. while i thought that all i was doing last week was snuggling, drinking insane amounts of coffee, and venturing out and about a little, my heart revealed to me that, while i did those things, there was also much, much more that happened.
a reminder for me, that even when there doesn’t seem like much is going on, there is a lot going on. and simply living life, trying to be aware and intentional, creates moments + opportunities that might seem ordinary, but are much, much more than that. and, that by simply being who we are, we are creating a way for our lives to actually make a difference in the world. because when we just keep plugging on, living our daily lives, the universe will open and life will look ordinary + normal, but we will become extraordinary peacemakers and lovers.
last week, i did have profound moments that i almost dismissed as regular encounters. i suppose that it all has to do with our attitudes and perspectives. part of living an intentional, abundant, amazing life is actually believing that life is intentional, abundant, and amazing. some weeks we just don’t feel that, though. last week, i didn’t feel it as i was living it. but, thanks to my shower and my focus on simply being present in the moment, i did not let the week slip by without giving a second thought to all of the amazingness that was hidden in the midst of my everyday moments.
but you know what? those most amazing moments, those connections with people, they are not reflected in these photos at all. these photos are of the mundane, but beautiful, moments that i used to keep me in the present moment. these are the things that ground me: meditation, nature, love from friends far away, the vibe of the city, coffee, saturday mornings, sky gazing.
what i didn’t photograph was…
// the amazing, powerful support group i attended with other people who are living with family members with an eating disorder.
// the meeting i had that may offer me a new opportunity to tap into a deep part of who i am and the life that i am creating.
// the moment that my love and i had peppermint mochas at a café for the first time in over two months (a challenge for my love). so proud of her by the way! (you can read her excited thoughts about this experience >>> here).
// the teenage boy who almost fainted in mcdonald’s, dropped his food all over the floor, and ended up sitting at my table with me (yes. i visited mcdonald’s because sometimes i need an american fix!). turns out, he hadn’t eaten all day. and as we sat there, we chatted a bit. he began to share some of his current life situation with me. he’s a foster kid, missing his family, who live in another city. he just needed love. he just needed an ear. he just needed a moment to connect with someone. and i just needed to be reminded of how much i still love working with teenagers. he asked me what my job was, and as i explained my history (teacher/minister/life coach), he said he knew it. he knew i’d worked with young people. sweet young man. he stole my heart in the 30 minutes that we spent together. i walked out with him, helped him figure out what time the his bus left the station, and then we embraced before going our separate ways. how can one’s heart be so full + completely broken all at the same time? (side story: when i told lina about this, we decided – and we have talked about this a lot before – that, when we have our own place and things are more stable in our lives, then we will become foster moms.)
these little moments were the big moments that i almost forget. i almost let the week go by without recognizing the amazing beauty and inspiration that pops up everywhere, and all of the time.
oh, i am so glad that i didn’t miss it.