i thought about ending my monday posts where i look back on the week that just was. but, then it hit me.
even though i may process and understand things differently from day to day, having this day every week, mondays, to gather all of my moments + thoughts together from the past week into one place, i find that i often understand things from a completely different point of view. it’s that hind sight is 20/20 thing.
by letting myself peruse though my photos and feel the feelings that i now associate with the past seven days, compared to how i feel today, i give myself an opportunity to synthesize everything. i let it all drop into my soul. sink into me. the memories and moments becoming part of who i am.
and by ritually going through this, i am then able to turn the page of last week and start a new chapter with the beginning of a new week. like a reset button. affected, changed, transformed, and ready for what comes next.
so i don’t think i am going to give up these monday posts just yet.
here’s some of what i experienced and learned and understood last week:
home was my base. everything centered around being here. and that was good, and that was bad. it was cozy and comforting. plus, it was boring and difficult. but, what i understand now is that it was necessary. and i accepted each day as it came last week. letting it be simply what it was. embracing the moments when i felt worried + soaking in the moments when i felt peace. i didn’t try to change anything, but i did choose to be present in whatever situation presented itself. at least i tried to.
the cozy moments included candles, darkness, coffee + tea, blankets, writing, netflix with my love, working as a team, sharing a long breakfast at the table, snuggling, making plans for next summer, gazing out the window.
the tougher moments were when the my love’s eating disorder wanted to break in and be a third party in our home and marriage. but, lina and i pushed through. sometimes together. sometimes separately. it’s a known fact that an eating disorder tries its hardest to take control, and sometimes it is a really tough fight. try as it may, we fight back. plus, it’s two against one. so, who do you think is gonna win?!
you know, i didn’t actually spend as much time outside as i wanted. the weather was in-freaking-credible. it was, if i dare say, what i just might consider perfect autumn weather. bright blue, chilly skies. warm sunshine. and the leaves were bursting into their fall colors.
when i was outside, i went back and forth between furiously snapping photos and closing my eyes to just be and feel the autumn air sinking into my bones. oh, nature. what you do for my soul…
i did some errands one day, and while i was picking up groceries, i remembered that i had a gift card from my love for a mind, body, soul beauty store nearby called rituals. with a full load of groceries in my backpack and bike basket (which i carry around with me since it’s not attached to my bike), and a big package of toilet paper stuffed under my arm, i went into the store to find the perfect purchase.
i knew exactly what series of products was calling to me as soon as i saw the name “tao”. i picked up a bottle of shower oil to read about, and the first words spoke of yin and yang.
that’s it. that’s exactly the way to describe my life right now. a delicate balance of yin and yang. of silence and being, counteracted with action and motion. i feel that down in my core. and, if i look back over the past month and a half, i can see that i have been yang-ing out the wazoo. truly. life-changing action and motion.
it only makes sense that my yin get a little action, so to speak. being home, being present, being aware, being accepting… that is what i needed to balance out everything.
i bought that bottle of shower oil, and also a package of fragrance sticks, and a little bamboo tray for an indian soap i received from a friend for my birthday.
so, in our home now, i’ve infused a bit of balance. a bit of yin and yang. an inspiration to trust in the tao, or the way, by working hard to do nothing and to just go with the flow.
so, i’m gonna keep these monday posts coming. spending some time on monday to delicately balance reflection and looking forward is the perfect reset. it is the perfect space to be fully present. so, what about you? have you ever thought about looking back over your week? what did you learn last week + how does it help you prepare for what’s coming?
this week will be a bit busier that last week, but not over the top. perhaps this week will be a delicate balance between everything. who know.
whatever it brings, though, i will invoke a spirit of calm. a feeling of reverence, gratitude, excitement, depth and hope. i will allow the dark moments and light moments to move together in their never-ending dance of the cycle of life.
and i wish all of the same to you. namaste, my friends.