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how i discovered i was in real deep…

20 Aug 2015

lately i’ve had a few days where i look in the mirror and think to myself as i twist + turn to catch a glimpse of all of my sides, “yep. i feel pretty damn good today.”

are there things to work on? yes, definitely. are there things that i feel not so great about? of course! but, i’m not focused on those things. the overriding feeling is one of power, peace, and pride.

i have no idea where all of this has come from, but i have been dwelling in those feelings for about a week now. and giving mucho thanks-o to the universe for feeling like this. i’m not sure that i have ever felt this… well, confidence and security in myself…. like this before.

me summer 2015

but, when i dig a bit deeper, i begin to uncover where all this just may be coming from.

i have been on an inner spiritual journey since moving to sweden. i’ve been social and had fun and all of that, but i have been doing a lot of inner work. i didn’t really choose to do it, it just has happened.

many of you may know that i am the queen of being. it’s right there, first, in my blog name. be. i can relax with the best of them. i thrive on meditating, soaking up, sitting still, kicking back, sleeping, having long fikas (coffee), gazing at the moon and the stars. i have definitely learned a lot about the art of living in the present moment and being aware. and this is something for which i am super grateful.

i am living a very connected, grounded, aware, peaceful life right now. and that empowers me.

but, the word empower suggests something:  a c t i o n .

and, little did i know it, but there is some action that has begun to surface in my life. it’s called aligning.

i have talked about living an authentic life on my blog before. living life true to yourself, aligning yourself with your purpose, yadda yadda. but, i realize now, that i have been talking about it – not really doing it. that’s not a bad thing, however. i needed to preach it till i reached it.

what i mean, is that all of this talk and thought about alignment has somehow led me to the place of actually beginning to align my life with who i am called to be. my purpose or destiny or whatever you want to call it. it’s really about beginning to not just think about my passions, but to actually live them. to let those passions, which i have discovered by going inward, begin to slipp out into my life.

so, i’ve been shifting and moving from an inner, contemplative focus to an outer, physical one. the changes that have been occurring and growing inside of me, from my soul, are beginning to sprout forth a like a seed in the spring. or, since it is almost autumn here, i could use the analogy that i am beginning to reap what i have sown. i am gathering in the harvest to be used and shared.

basically, folks, shit is happening in my life. and boy, am i in deep.

i’ve crossed a threshold and there is no turning back. i carry all of my meditative, contemplative ways of being with me throughout everyday (because that is how i breathe and stay connected), but a shift has occurred and now i’m all about action.

literally, what has been feeling good and secure on the inside, is now showing up on the outside.

i am taking my inner life and letting it be on display on the outside. all of the energy and peace that i have felt on the inside is now seeping out, ready to make its mark on the world in a whole new way.

this aligning, this matching my inner world and my outer world, is gonna take some time though. it’s not an overnight thing, but a slow, steady transformation that i am experiencing. still, there will be bursts of action, and i have already taken some very specific steps which are thrusting me forward into who i want to be and where i want my life to go (more on that later). i’m committed and i’m in deep.

in the meantime, I’m gonna stand in front of my mirror, take a deep breath and smile as i look at what i see, and then remind myself to get to work.

onwards + upwards!! xoxo

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1 Comment

  • Reply When the inner voice says stop | Not Just Sassy on the Inside 22 Aug 2015 at 21:39

    […] have  been coming together, from a conversation in a daily e-mail check-in with a friend to a post from Liz at be.love.live discussing a period of aligning to thinking about earlier stages of my journey for this […]

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