life theme of the month

when life tells you to “evolve + be brave”

3 Feb 2016

fuck.

i’m pissed. at the universe. just when i truly was feeling that the energy around me was all about settling in, life threw me one of those unexpected curve balls last night when i got home.

i came in and i saw immediately that my love was upset. a friend, who had been hanging out with her, was on her way out. and then lina said it..

we have to move out by march 15.

nooooooooo.

we love this apartment. we knew that our contract was for only a year, but we had already been discussing with the owner extending our contract for another year. so, we were all working on that. but, for personal reasons, the owner needs to move back in.

i truly thought that i had been reading the energy around me as a time to begin to settle in. there are changes happening with lina and her treatment, my new job, my continued life coach training, but other than that, it was all about living and being and creating. really digging into our life here, the base that we have slowly built through a beautiful, yet turbulent 2015.

apparently, i’ve been reading it all wrong.

so, we’re on the hunt again. exactly one year after moving to uppsala, feeling totally out of sorts and completely unbalanced, we created a sense of balance, a life, a home. and now, after deciding to focus on settling + building up what we have created, we are being shaken. change has landed on our doorstep and has told us that we must find a new space to call home.

lina me feet snow

so, i’m pissed. because this is not how i planned it.

at the same time, i am fully aware that this is life. this is exactly that brave thing i was talking about on monday. spiritually speaking, it’s times like these that force me to choose how i want to live my life. do i intend to live life from my center, from that stable, grounded, inspired place? or do i cave to the pressures of change, insecurity, and fear?

perhaps, i had no idea what my intention was all throughout january. perhaps my intention was actually deciding how i wish to live my life. how authentic and real and grounded i really want my life to be. and, perhaps, this energy around me really has been about settling in. but, not settling into my external life: home, job, etc. but,instead, about settling into the person who i have become, the life that i have now committed to living. perhaps it really is about settling into a slow, meaningful life. in the most authentic way i can in the midst of every life – even the unexpected moments.

but, right now, i am still pissed.

xoxo. liz.

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32 Comments

  • Reply hejyork 3 Feb 2016 at 12:10

    Oh, that’s an awful shock. There’s something about having to move house that takes the rug out from under us. Especially when you’re feeling settled. I was about to type comforting things about making it through but I think it’s better to be pissed for a bit. Feel it, go through it, then recentre and reground… I feel for you both. Please pass my regards to lina. I know that’s strange from an unknown Internet person but I had to move mid eating disorder and it felt worse because of that, it was one more thing that was feeling out of control. But once I moved it ended up being a new start. Having seen your photos, I know you’ll make a beautiful comforting nest wherever you end up.

    • Reply Liz 14 Feb 2016 at 21:32

      The regards are sent, and we are both very grateful. Thank you so much for your insight and support! We cannot wait to create a new nest wherever we end up. 🙂 xx

  • Reply Meghan 3 Feb 2016 at 14:16

    That totally sucks. Yes, you’re right that how you react is all about choice but when you consider your home your sanctuary and think of it as an extension of or external manifestation of the constant Self it’s impossible to not get shaken by it being taken away from you. Particularly in the midst of all the changes in your life. But I know you will rise to this challenge and face it with all the strength you can summon. Luck and love to you on your hunt for a new home and in facing more change. xoxo and extra hugs to you both.

    • Reply Liz 14 Feb 2016 at 21:31

      Thanks for the extra hugs, and for having such insane faith and belief in me. xx

  • Reply Gesine 3 Feb 2016 at 14:21

    I`m so sorry to hear this my friend! I´m thinking of you and hope that you´ll find another place soon!

    • Reply Liz 14 Feb 2016 at 21:30

      Thank you, dear friend. Thinking of you as well. xoxo

  • Reply Carly 3 Feb 2016 at 14:39

    Oh, man 🙁 This sucks…
    Thinking of you and wishing you find peace in the chaos.

    • Reply Liz 14 Feb 2016 at 21:26

      Thank you so very much! xoxo

  • Reply carissalick 3 Feb 2016 at 14:44

    Ugh, that’s terrible. I totally understand how you’re both feeling angry and upset. What an unpleasant change of plans. 🙁 I had a (sort of) similar feeling in December when we found out that the upcoming move we’d be making would be delayed by yet another month, thus completely changing our Christmas plans. Having to move unexpectedly is way more intense and frustrating than just delaying something that you at least know is coming, so I feel for you. Lots of hugs and best wishes to both of you as you look for a new place!! I’m sure it will bring about lovely new things in time, but that doesn’t make the change itself any easier or less disappointing.

    • Reply Liz 14 Feb 2016 at 21:26

      Thank you, Carissa! We are taking it well, being open and positive. Hope all is well with you – so close!!! 🙂

  • Reply SouthernHon 3 Feb 2016 at 15:18

    I’m really sorry to hear this. I’m positive though, that you and Lina will be able to recover from this and find a place just as nice and start to feel settled again. Hopefully it will be permanent!

    • Reply Liz 14 Feb 2016 at 21:25

      Thank you so much! It will turn out to be something so amazing, we just know it. xo

  • Reply Farm Girl 3 Feb 2016 at 18:10

    Nooooo! Ugh, that SUCKS. So sorry to hear that. Hopefully you will be able to look at this day in a few months, shake your head in wonder and say: “I never thought it possible, but this was the best thing that ever happened to us.”
    Here’s to better days (and apartments) ahead!

    • Reply Liz 14 Feb 2016 at 21:25

      You are so very right! That is exactly how it will feel – now, just to keep the faith and courage during the process! Thank you, dear Miriam!

  • Reply words.pics 3 Feb 2016 at 18:45

    First, I don’t blame you for being pissed. Having the rug pulled out from under one is never, ever any fun. I feel for you, you have no idea how much.

    Next. Sit down and make a list of exactly what you want in a new place, including a landlord whose life is sorted. Manifesting time, eh? I’m going to be looking for a new place myself, at the moment I’m in transition, but I expect to be looking very soon. And I hadn’t even thought about making a list of what I want until you posted this.

    I honestly believe that you & Lina will find a place that is even more right and easier for you. I know you will. Will send out a manifestation request for us both today. As soon as I write my list. 😉

    • Reply Liz 14 Feb 2016 at 21:24

      Thank you so much for your thoughts and visions of manifestation. We are nervously calm, but more than anything, we trust that all will turn out exactly as it should. Wishing you much peace as you go through your own transitions. Sending lots of visions of manifestation right back to you, lovely. xo

  • Reply Laura4NYC 3 Feb 2016 at 19:57

    Moving sucks! I’ve been through so many moves, mostly apartments. A house must be a tad bit more extensive and of course harder to find. You’ll find something better, though! Really!

    • Reply Liz 14 Feb 2016 at 21:22

      We are still looking for an apartment. Just buying one, because renting here is ridiculous and more expensive – even though it is all expensive and crazy!

  • Reply tom 3 Feb 2016 at 23:10

    hey, well now that you’ll have lemons I know that you’ll will turn it to lemonade and it will be even better than what you have now. know that you’ll are are always in our thoughts.the dawn is just around the corner and I know that it will be awesome. don’t let it get you down and i know you want. love, mom and dad.

  • Reply yogaleigh 4 Feb 2016 at 06:30

    What a short amount of time to have to do so much! I know that’s seriously not fun. I used to move a lot. But I’m going to envision you’re going to find a new place that suits you even better and the move will be smooth and easy.

    • Reply Liz 14 Feb 2016 at 21:22

      Keep those visions coming – we are getting close, but still so far away. Thank you for your vibes + energy!

  • Reply Mani (A New Life Wandering) 4 Feb 2016 at 06:38

    You wanna hear something weird? I can’t elaborate yet because we are still figuring things out and not sure what the plan is exactly but also as of today I can mirror yours words exactly: “change has landed on our doorstep and has told us that we must find a new space to call home.” We are in this situation too and it does suck because we are creatures of comfort and stabilization (even though we have moved many times in the last 6 years) we keep getting comfortable in every new situation and suddenly it changes. I haven’t been able to get used to it. We (hubby and I) talked about it a lot today and it comes down to learning to be detached: my goal and my non-official word of the year.
    So, I can genuinely say “I feel you”. I hope we can handle the transition with calm, peace and understanding that change is normal, that suffering can be a blessing, that detachment of things and places make us dependent, that we have to find peace, home, happiness, love, and God within ourselves and not from external and superficial things.

    • Reply Liz 14 Feb 2016 at 21:21

      UTAH!!! I am so excited for you. What a wonderful (albeit unexpected) change. Wishing you well on this next step in your journey!! Sending you vibes of non-attached peace and love.

      • Reply Mani (A New Life Wandering) 15 Feb 2016 at 03:00

        “Non-attached peace and love”! Haha You starting to get me haha. Thank you! We arrived a couple hours ago and and are actively searching more a more permanent place. I hope your change is going well too.

  • Reply Mani (A New Life Wandering) 4 Feb 2016 at 06:44

    By the way…. I just remembered that today on our way back home (or I should say the place where we currently live) from the bakery where we had our long chat, we drove by a billboard that said: “follow your heart… it is the best GPS”.

    • Reply Liz 14 Feb 2016 at 21:19

      How perfect!!

  • Reply Holly 4 Feb 2016 at 20:55

    Hello my dear, i read this yesterday – oh i hope some shit is sorting out for you now! Good luck with the flat hunt ASAP in progress I hope!
    xx

    • Reply Liz 14 Feb 2016 at 21:19

      We’re working on it. Some prospects are in the wings, but the housing situation is crazy here – as in tons of people want homes + the prices are insane!

  • Reply Liz 5 Feb 2016 at 02:41

    oh NO! Moving can be so stressful. I know you know this will all be for the best, in the end, somehow, but yeah…sometimes you just gotta be pissed and wallow in the anger a bit! You’ll pully through – and until then, sending positive house-hunting energies!! xx

    • Reply Liz 14 Feb 2016 at 21:18

      Thanks for the energies, Liz. It will totally work itself out in the end – and it’d better hurry up because the days are flying by! 🙂

  • Reply how you know when you need a life coach – BE LOVE LIVE 5 Feb 2016 at 16:11

    […] my friends, it seems as if i have gotten over the initial shock of having to move (read my tiny freak out post here). of course, in the moment of my feelings of panic, i also knew that everything would be fine. but, […]

  • Reply the week that i lost control + then found even more // 5 – BE LOVE LIVE 7 Feb 2016 at 23:04

    […] when life tells you to “evolve + be brave” […]

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