well, if you are a regular reader, then you know that this week has had it’s share of craziness for me. on tuesday, after dinner out with my new co-workers, i came home to my wife to hear that the lady that we rent our apartment from needs/wants to move back in 6 (now 5!) weeks. that left us feeling all crazy and confused and sad.
i literally walked around like a zombie on wednesday. totally numb. not really freaking out, and yet not ok either. but, definitely sad. really sad.
i had truly been reading the signs right, or so i thought. 2016 was going to be a magical, settling, growing, evolving, building kind of year. and suddenly, it didn’t feel that way any more. it felt messy. and like having to start over again, not knowing what neighborhood we might find ourselves in. and knowing that where we ended up living would literally change our life. somehow, it all just seemed like it would be for the worse to me. and that is so very unlike me.
still, i knew that i was to just keep on keeping on, trusting and knowing that life would unfold, it just wasn’t going to be how i expected it right now. thanks, universe, for reminding me that i am not in control of the situations that pop up in my life…
but in having unexpected craziness thrown at me, i remembered that i am in control of how i react to any situation and how i want to live life.
and then, just as i breathed in that remembrance, the universe offered us a way forward. it’s nothing that i want to really talk about quite yet, but just know that the offer makes everything possibly so much better than we could have imagined. i’ll fill you in soon enough. but for now, i just want to share with you that my desire to continue to trust life to unfold, my determination to trust the process, has just been reaffirmed once again.
and, on top of a possible solution, the idea that i had of settling in this year turns out may have been spot on. just in ways that i’d never dreamed of. sooooo typical of life.
the thing is, my friends, i believe that staying open is the key. and to stay open, i’ve got to stay grounded. so, even in my zombie-like, stunned mornings this past week, i still meditated. i still believed. i still knew that i was in control of how i want my life to be from minute to minute. i still read the signs + trusted that, when i don’t get the answer that i think i want, that there is another (perhaps better one!) waiting for me.
learning to live slowly, to let life unfold, to actively decide to accept + participate + create in life as it happens, to focus on today (and yet have a vision for tomorrow), has taught me that i no longer have some big goal way out there in the future that i am just waiting on, anxiously awaiting my arrival and accomplishment of that dream. instead, living mindfully, slowly, and intentionally, listening to my intuition, and begin present has taught me that i want to experience the whole journey. i want to enjoy and go through the entire process, living for each and every day, fully soaking up all that happens, trusting the journey.
i don’t want to just hop from one goal to the next, checking them off as i go, feeling the highs that come with those incredible moments. i want to be present and active the whole way. for what is life, if not the entire, beautiful, messy, scary, glorious journey of continuous discovery?
of course, ending this week with my life coach training weekend was the icing on the cake. it was just what i needed to refocus and re-inspire me. the weekend gave me time + space + energy. it gave me a chance to listen to myself. to hear my soul. to recommit to my dreams. to wander among the trees all alone. to share my vision of the life that i feel called to live – the life that i will create, that i am creating.
for just a moment, i felt as if i’d lost control this week. but, i immediately breathed deeply. and i decided to let life to its thing. and in letting go of my need for control i found even more. i found, once again, the power within that keeps me in balance. the reminds me that i know who i am. i know how i want to live.i know how much i have done and how much more i want to do. and i know, wholeheartedly, that no matter what, all will be well.
my only job is to stay true. to stay open. to stay authentic. to stay awake + aware. to stay present.
and, on those days that i feel off-balance, i just keep on doing what i do. i just keep on being who i am, and the balance will return. when i remain stable + grounded + centered, then everything realigns naturally + organically. the process of growth and life continue. and i get to enjoy the whole entire ride.
// the camp where i stay during my life coach training weekends. it’s hard to believe i only have 2 more training weekends to go!
// trees + water. the best of nature.
// nordic winter scene
// my most favorite photo of the week. this place just oozes magic and peace and calm. i thoroughly expected fairies to just appear from anywhere.
3 good things
// my little cabin room that i always stay in during my life coach weekends. simple, but oh so cozy.
// me + nature. there are no words to describe the power and nourishment that i receive from moments like these.
// sunshine + almost spring-like weather.
2 previous posts
1 photo/music/blog/person/website/book that inspired me
there were many, many things that inspired me this week. this weekend, in and of itself, was filled with inspiration + energy from my fellow life coach pilgrims. so many of them motivated me, cheered me on, touched me, and challenged me. every second is like a deep gift when i am there.
but, i have to say, that my love, my amazing wife, lina, inspired me more than anyone or anything else this past week.
on monday, after we had an appointment, we headed home at about the time that we usually have our afternoon coffee (fika) break. we follow a pretty strict routine with when + what we eat (all part of her treatment). but, on this day, my love suggested that we stop at one of our fave cafés for fika. my friends, we have had fika at a café i think only 1 time in the past 5 months (not how we used roll). but, she was feeling strong + inspired + wanted to challenge herself. so, we went in, ordered coffee + buns, sat down, and enjoyed it all slowly + intentionally.
and she pretty much kicked some anorexia ass – at the café and throughout the rest of the week, even with all of it’s unexpected challenges and changes.
i am so proud of her. and in awe of her. every single day she inspires me with her strength, her fearlessness, and the incurable courage and dedication. she is the light of my life, my everything, and i cannot even begin to express how blessed i am to have her as my partner, my best friend, and my love – to share all of life with.
how was your week, lovelies? are you feeling settled into 2016? or does it all feel topsy-turvy to you? or is it a combo of a little of everything? what do you do to get through those unexpected, kook you off your feet days?