mondays are my day off. they are the days that i try to do the things that come from my soul. i can write some on mondays. i can veg out some on mondays, catching up on tv series i follow. i can create. or do nothing at all.
here is where i can clear out all of my thoughts. where i focus on just being. loving. and living.
many people wonder why bloggers blog. and i ask myself that question several times a week. especially when i see that my readership is down. i begin to wonder what i do that draws in more readers, which blog posts seem to be the favorites, and why. basically, at least once a week, i overanalyze my blogging… do more people like when i write about my day, or post pictures, or highlight quotes, or post travel-related posts, or get into deep things related to society or spirituality?
and then, i almost always remember why i really blog. i blog for me. it’s like breathing. i have to blog or else everything gets all jumbled up inside of me. my thoughts are messy until i get them out onto the screen in front of me. and then, there’s that sense of creating something, when i’ve added pictures related to my blog. or taken pictures that i want to share. finally, i must admit that i love the community. the way i feel such a sense of support and camaraderie with fellow bloggers from all over the world. i am infinitely inspired by the words,images, and thoughts of my fellow bloggers.
this little space on the internet is a place i’d love to grow, and to be able to make money from one day, but it will always (and most importantly) be the place where i come to be me. funny. it’s not really a physical place, but other than being in nature or in a cathedral or temple, this is the place where i am in touch with my self, my soul. here my head, heart, soul, dreams, goals, wishes, fears, confusions, anger, sadness, excitement, and joy all come together.
on this monday, i’ve got a lot on my mind. i’m full of all of those emotions that i mentioned above. so, in the moments that i have to myself today, i am going to clear my mind and cleanse my soul.
the past weekend (and week) has been really intense. i have worked a lot. it all turned out well, but i was so worried and tense about it all beforehand. it feels like i teetered between the fear of failing and the joy of succeeding the whole time. the things that i was responsible for could have bombed or been amazing, and the stress of wondering how things might all turn out drove me to a bit of insomnia and anxiety.
i worked with the youth all weekend. baking. serving. working at a saturday morning cafe. planning the worship service. writing my sermon. delivering it for the people. making sure everything ran smoothly from friday until sunday.
yesterday’s service was a little bit different, and everything felt so emotionally heavy for me. it is still the season of lent. we are still wandering in the darkness. the texts i was using for my sermon were not happy texts at all, but rather offensive ones – jesus got pissed and threw tables, and then he told a story that was basically a warning to the people to get it together and to start living up to their calling to take care of each other & the world. and we were going to have a tribute to lina’s granddad during the service as well. all of this i had to put together into a one hour worship service. it felt so dark and depressing, and i wondered how i would combine everything, make it make sense, and let it inspire others. i needed to talk about the dark, tough, difficult things because they are a part of life, but i wanted to end with a bit of hope. it was a challenge. and i was extra emotional before the service. but i did it. and i think it turned out well. i felt like i was faithful to what i had felt was important and true. whew. (now, i just have to prepare a service for good friday. doesn’t get much more depressing than that.)
today, as i’ve said, i’m off. and i’m soooo happy about that! i’m using the day to think about tons of other things. things that are coming in the fairly close future. i’m letting myself dream and find inspiration.
so, what am i thinking about? well… spring. and setting up our apartment in asheville.
throughout the weekend i found myself surfing through pictures on pinterest every now & then as an escape from all of the darkness and dread. and i created a new board about spring = a collection of pictures which tickle my fancy & make me feel warm & sunny inside.
the other thing that i have been obsessing with in my free time is the thought of moving into a new apartment in the states. gaaahhh! so. much. fun. i looove moving. and i love decorating. and i love that lina & i have different tastes, and yet it all comes together so beautifully. well, actually, we seem to like some of the same things, but then need some other things that are of our own individual tastes. it’s hard to explain… guess y’all will have to just come by & visit to see how it turns out!
we don’t have an apartment yet, of course (we’re not leaving sweden until the end of july), but we have some that we really like. so, we’re decorating them in our minds, and pinning inspirational photos to pinterest on almost a daily basis. fun stuff.
so, there ya go. a little hipster. a little scandinavian. a little hippie. a little vintage/retro. i don’t know what you would actually call it… it’s just so lina and liz.
i realize that this has been a rather random post. but, it is what it is. and i feel tons better. so, thank you dear readers, for following along. for reading, commenting, liking, and just being there. here’s to hoping your monday has been lovely, as you start a new week with new adventures.