you know those days when you wake up + it just feels “off”? well, that happened to me on thursday. and i was like, “oh no. not one of these days. just meditate and focus and call on your groundedness to calm + connect you.” i said this to myself as i pulled back the covers and rolled out of bed to make the coffee.
well, as i said last week, not every day can be a magical inspiring day. and, while there were definitely inspiring + amazing moments this week, toward the end of the week i hit my limit.
i know that i can’t ride a high constantly. all waves have peaks + troughs. and i could feel the swell building last week, knowing that i had been surfing + riding high for a while, and anticipating the ever-present flow down into the trough.
so, as this week progressed, i felt my ride coming to an end. this wave was moving past me and i was headed downward.
and thursday was my trough.
work had been good. inspiring. fun. and intense. the intenseness + heaviness, though, all came to a head on thursday.
even though i had woken with that ominous feeling in my gut, i did not let that overtake me. instead, i let it flow through me, even choosing to do a meditation that was focused letting myself feel my feelings exactly as they are.
so, i was melancholic, but still positive.
at work, though, my feelings got the best of me. i had two very intense, but very good, conversations with two new students and their parents. oh, the things they are facing. the sessions were very productive and positive, but as i moved from one crisis to the next throughout the day, and as more and more people began asking me to do more and more things, i knew that this was my limit.
i had reached emotional and physical saturation. and, still, i knew that this was a natural part of the flow of everything. so, i was not panicking. i was not falling apart. i wasn’t even upset. in some ways, i suppose i was really just embracing + feeling it all. just letting it be as it was. but i was tired. and a little bit down.
however, i knew exactly what to do. it’s the same thing that one does in meditation. just keep doing it. allowing. observing. breathing. no judgement. no freaking out. just staying committed and going with the flow.
so, i did just that. i finished my day at work. i came home. relaxed a bit. and, after a short visit to lina’s brother’s for an hour or so, i retired to my sofa home, lit candles, sat with my love, and just let everything go. i just enjoyed the late night coziness. safe. secure. and in my sanctuary.
and then it was friday. and i knew that a new wave would be approaching, with new highs and lows. and i smiled to myself, knowing that this ebb + flow, is simply another beautiful cycle of life.
as i look back over the week’s photos, of which there were not too too many from which to choose, i realize that i nature played a big role in keeping me in the present moment, in keeping me grounded and stable and able to just flow with the wave as it moved through me. i found some quiet moments at home and to + from work. i intentionally took time for myself early in the mornings and on my lunch break.
i think that it is these rituals of slowing down that keep me sane. well, that, and my amazing love + the other people in my life that inspire me. but, committing myself to living a slow, mindful life… that has been the thing that has changed me the most in the past year or two. it has impacted my attitude, my perspective, and my ability to move through the moments of my life with an ever-growing gift of grace each day.
what do you do, friends, when you feel that you have reached your limit? what are the things in life that help you slow down + stay focused? how do you remain balanced? or is that something that you are trying work on?
wishing you peace + calm, dear ones, as you ride through a new week. may you stay grounded as you accept, feel, receive, observe, and go with the flow.